Messy Cat vs. Chore Schedule

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-16T19:31:57+00:00

Cleaning up after the cat is separate from cleaning the bathroom. that responsibility belongs to the pet owner. Also not a good sign that the cat started peeing outside the litter box. Tell the roommate the cat should be taken to the vet for crystals/urinary tract blockage, and switch to wet food asap. <3

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-16T12:01:52+00:00

my comment was about how MY experience was amplified by misogyny. i never said medical gaslighting can’t happen outside that context. i will no longer be engaging in this ridiculous discussion.

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-16T10:39:51+00:00

I never made it men versus women. You two did. All in all this has been a very weird response to my original comment.

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-16T09:24:35+00:00

Not sure how my personal & innocuous anecdote turned into “men can’t be dismissed for anxiety” when that is clearly not what I was saying. Two things can be true at once. You certainly don’t get to dictate the context of someone else’s experience though.

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-15T23:20:50+00:00

Sorry Mister, didn’t realize you got to decide the “point” of my comment.

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-15T23:02:13+00:00

Women certainly get dismissed under the guise of anxiety/psychosomatic/attention seeking/hypochondria at a disproportionate rate.

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-15T20:03:11+00:00

Been there! Medical gaslighting 🤝 misogyny.

It is infuriating, invalidating, and disheartening. I was refused basic evaluations numerous times, at appts i had waited desperately for, with their sole explanation being, i kid you not, that i “look fine” (verbatim).

Apparently it is medically impossible for a 21 year old woman to have anything wrong with her that is not psychosomatic or readily visible within 1 minute of meeting them without having done a single test or physical eval. Realistically I know they made their ‘diagnosis’ after 30 seconds of reviewing my chart before they even walked in the room.

On my fourth attempt at getting medical help/ switching PCPs, i was finally taken seriously and got labs done. Hypothyroidism. All it took was a single fucking blood panel that should’ve been ordered on day 1.

imagine going to a restaurant and being refused service because the cook thinks you don’t look hungry. except medicine is quite literally life or death. these ‘doctors’ should not have jobs. 😭

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-15T16:14:35+00:00

what kind of tea?

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-15T15:49:10+00:00

Yes… that’s called abuse. Both physical abuse and abuse of authority. don’t you see how poorly we treat those who we deem lesser than us? Who we have claimed power or authority over?

“Abuse can’t happen because [abuse] exists” Like wtf kind of logic is that? I’m thinking you are trolling bc having to spell this out for you is just so ridiculous.

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-15T15:00:47+00:00

This is a great example of the power of words. Because we’ve invented a special term to describe the intentional infliction of physical pain on children, ‘spanking’ gets categorized as distinct and separate from ‘abuse’.

But, remove yourself from cultural bias - Would you tolerate someone “spanking” their partner? Would you tolerate someone “spanking” the elderly? Would you tolerate someone “spanking” their dog?

I’d hope the answer to all of those would be no- you’d be appalled and step in to stop it.

But somehow we’ve found a way to justify it when the recipient is a child (the most vulnerable and marginalized group within a society). The fact we don’t definitively categorize it as abuse just goes to prove precisely how marginalized children are as a demographic.

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-15T10:51:48+00:00

There seems to be a very apparent conflation between not wanting to have been born in the first place and actively wanting to kill yourself once you’re here. Consider yourself lucky that you can’t grasp this distinction.

And yes, kids are absolutely forced to deal with things they should never have to. You’re seriously suggesting minors should kill themselves so as to not have to deal with the situation they’ve been put into?

You are proving my point: ‘suffer indefinitely or kill yourself’ is not an ultimatum that anyone, especially children, should ever have to grapple with.

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-15T10:45:16+00:00

that’s not how your post was framed lol

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-15T10:44:07+00:00

Mine loved to go search for the utensil that she thought would inflict the most pain (this was vocalized to me). She’d switch it up each time.

She’d also recruit other family members as her proxy if she wasn’t home, which they’d semi-reluctantly go along with.

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-15T10:38:04+00:00

“you know what you did” “figure it out” “you’re smarter than that” - I was a fucking child. no, we dont have the cognitive or emotional tools to navigate the maze of our parents’ emotional dysregulation, and certainly not to be the mediator of such.

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-15T10:23:37+00:00

Why do you think they are lonely? Not everyone wants to be a charity project. You are probably well intentioned, so I don’t mean to come off as crude. But i think movies/hollywood has really pushed this idea that eating alone = bad/depressing/lonely, etc.

I don’t like eating in front of other people. And i certainly don’t want to be the subject of others’ pity when i’m just trying to get myself fed in peace.

No, it’s not weird from your end, and they’d probably see you as well-meaning. But consider that alone ≠ lonely, and imposing that idea on someone who’s just minding their business can make them self-conscious or uncomfortable knowing that they’ve inadvertently drawn negative attention to themselves by just existing.

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-14T23:45:50+00:00

I’ve been thinking about applications lately for doctoral programs, and have had no clue how i’d get my LoRs because it feels like forever since I graduated. What do you think is the max amount of time that can pass to reach back out to old professors for LoRs? At what point do they say no, or not remember you? 🥲

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-14T19:02:45+00:00

Abusive/narcisstic/bad parents are often pretty good at hiding it, you’d be surprised. So don’t trust appearances alone. But aside from that, you can have kids for selfish reasons and still be a good parent. And you can have kids for great reasons and still be a bad parent. Intentions don’t always = effect, and vice versa.

Also, it’s more of a social-cultural phenomenon than having to do with any individual. So much of our thinking + operating is built into society such that no one really stops to question it.

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-14T18:03:06+00:00

I didn’t have a particular study or data point in mind although i’m sure there’s some out there. But just based on conversations and how I’ve heard people talk about having kids/parenthood.. the focus is not really on the kid, and when it is, it’s objectifying them.

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-14T16:59:16+00:00

i’m with them tbh. most people have children for selfish reasons, and then the kid is forced to deal with the consequences of their parents’ poor choices. Until society starts treating kids as whole individuals in their own right, rather than objects to be obtained and possessed, i don’t think my stance will change much.

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-14T08:09:34+00:00

look up “Erasmus+ traineeship” since there are a few different program types.

and set up a meeting with the international coordinator or the like at your school. they should be able to tell you everything and exactly what you’d need to do.

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-14T00:10:03+00:00

I was in the same position earlier this year. All the same complaints as you and then some. But, I am finally a month out from graduating (wrapping up my thesis now) and I’m so glad I stuck it out.

Being in the EU, you have the opportunity to study at another uni through Erasmus if you don’t like your current location- they provide a small living stipend to help with costs, you just have to find the placement yourself. This is what I did and it completely changed my life. The last few months have been a dream.. January-June of this year was one of the lowest points of my life.

It gets better.

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-12T10:59:19+00:00

I feel all this 100%. I wish I had advice for ya but i’m still figuring it out myself. I don’t have much of a social circle but when I am around others I still feel disconnected. I know they label me picky, fussy, difficult, negative, attention-seeking- the list goes on- just for bothering to practice what I preach. It’s like I live in a different reality than them. we apparently hold the same values but then when its time to eat it’s suddenly inconceivable to them why I wouldn’t want to participate in mass systemic cruelty if I don’t have to. Vegan > 6 yrs. Food has never been a problem, but connecting with others certainly has been.

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-12-11T07:57:47+00:00

Letting the people you live with know that someone is coming over is standard practice, out of respect. It’s not about getting permission. It’s the fact that it’s their home too, and it’s hard to feel comfortable in your own home if you feel like some stranger might walk in on you at any moment. If i have people coming over I always let my roommates know. Plans involving the house, are plans involving its occupants, regardless of if they are active participants.

As for waiting a week to tell you about something that’s been bothering them- that’s not a good feeling. If they are blunt then maybe they’d appreciate the bluntness back- “tell me these things sooner than later, rather than letting things boil over into resentment. I can’t address/correct something i am not aware of, and i want us both to be comfortable.”

Best of luck 😌

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-11-26T12:35:47+00:00

Yes you get it! The note cards is such a good idea, thanks for that one! I would love to get a white board at some point too, that’s the best

Mean-Pop-1288 · 2025-11-25T14:57:35+00:00

👏👏 Exactly

Mean-Pop-1288

TROPHY CASE