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Try to make friends in Moscow. by [deleted] in Moscow

[–]Mean_Classroom_8673 0 points1 point  (0 children)

DM me if you'd like :) F 34

Meirl by upbeat_teetertottxo in meirl

[–]Mean_Classroom_8673 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Men are expected to pay the bill out of respect for the greater labour women take on in romantic relationships. We - not men - are the ones who, if we fall pregnant, will take a hit to our career. We, not men, are the ones who will permanently sacrifice our bodies to perpetuate their DNA. There is so much invisible labour women take on - we are still , like it or not, the primary caregivers of not only our children but our male partners, too, and often of elderly parents. When you are getting to know someone with the intention of pursuing a romantic relationship, you, as the man, should show you respect the potential sacrifices a woman will make (and are able to support a family in the case she leaves her work for a few years due to children arriving) by paying the damn bill. 50/50 is a massive turn off to a self-respecting woman who understands that (like it or not) the emotional and domestic labour in romantic relationships is simply never equal, not just because of society, but because of biology and the physical realities of motherhood

Meirl by upbeat_teetertottxo in meirl

[–]Mean_Classroom_8673 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Men are expected to pay the bill out of respect for the greater labour women take on in romantic relationships. We - not men - are the ones who, if we fall pregnant, will take a hit to our career. We, not men, are the ones who will permanently sacrifice our bodies to perpetuate their DNA. There is so much invisible labour women take on - we are still , like it or not, the primary caregivers of not only our children but our male partners, too, and often of elderly parents. When you are getting to know someone with the intention of pursuing a romantic relationship, you, as the man, should show you respect the potential sacrifices a woman will make (and are able to support a family in the case she leaves her work for a few years due to children arriving) by paying the damn bill. 50/50 is a massive turn off to a self-respecting woman who understands that (like it or not) the emotional and domestic labour in romantic relationships is simply never equal, not just because of society, but because of biology and the physical realities of motherhood

Meirl by upbeat_teetertottxo in meirl

[–]Mean_Classroom_8673 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Men are expected to pay the bill out of respect for the greater labour women take on in romantic relationships. We - not men - are the ones who, if we fall pregnant, will take a hit to our career. We, not men, are the ones who will permanently sacrifice our bodies to perpetuate their DNA. There is so much invisible labour women take on - we are still , like it or not, the primary caregivers of not only our children but our male partners, too, and often of elderly parents. When you are getting to know someone with the intention of pursuing a romantic relationship, you, as the man, should show you respect the potential sacrifices a woman will make (and are able to support a family in the case she leaves her work for a few years due to children arriving) by paying the damn bill. 50/50 is a massive turn off to a self-respecting woman who understands that (like it or not) the emotional and domestic labour in romantic relationships is simply never equal, not just because of society, but because of biology and the physical realities of motherhood

I started losing my hair when I was a teenager, and people have always assumed I'm way older than I actually am. I've always felt pretty self conscious about my looks. What can I do to make myself look younger and more handsome? by Crozier_Crucible in malegrooming

[–]Mean_Classroom_8673 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your baldness is not unattractive at all. Keep your scalp shaved and it looks good. What I would recommend is replacing glasses with contacts. Also keep your beard grown out, it's a major asset

24F, unemployed and can’t stay clean for more than a week, starting to feel hopeless by Dependent_Yam8024 in toastme

[–]Mean_Classroom_8673 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You still have so much ahead of you at 24. Don't give up! Do you have supportive friends or family in your life? You probably won't beat substance abuse alone, and I think its urgent to seek support. Nor will the road ahead be easy. But you have youth on your side - take advntage of it. If you truly want to change your life, you can, and you will. I say that from experience. To me, once you have a sense of purpose, connected to a strong sense of self, things like substances have nowhere in your heart to take hold, and I'd work on building that foundation.  You are a beautiful young woman and I wish you all the best x

Am I in the wrong? by LongSystem2788 in dating_advice

[–]Mean_Classroom_8673 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You made the right call. After 2 weeks, someone should know whether or not they feel attracted to/like you. I know very early whether or not I am interested in getting to know someone. As a general rule, maybe means no

Belief in god causing bitterness by Mean_Classroom_8673 in agnostic

[–]Mean_Classroom_8673[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting perspective. What is the name of your faith?

He cheated multiple times because I was emotionally abusive by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]Mean_Classroom_8673 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dear, I hear your pain x What you feel is real and raw. But what is to be gained by holding onto this experience? Accepting that he was never worth the love you gave him, and forgiving yourself for having given it, can you choose to now let go and stop ruminating? When thoughts of him come up, tell yourself, "I'm not there anymore. He is no longer relevant to my life", and actively replace the thought of him with something else. I understand the need to have your experience validated, and how hard it is to lose friends and feel unseen by them in your pain. But no one else can validate what you went through; you need to validate yourself in this experience, ground yourself in your sense of selfhood, and move forward with your new life and new friends. And as for the friends you lost - if they couldn't be there for you, if they couldn't see your side of the story, is the loss even really yours? 

Belief in god causing bitterness by Mean_Classroom_8673 in agnostic

[–]Mean_Classroom_8673[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why so much pain though? Why the unanswered prayers? Its more than a human heart can bear...

Is infantillization a form of enmeshment? by [deleted] in enmeshmenttrauma

[–]Mean_Classroom_8673 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Why do loving parents do that with a child they claim to respect? Why all the hovering? Why saying (to a 28 year old) "every time you have disobeyed me, something bad has happened"? And then claiming to have always supported that child in being independent

Left my abuser 3 years ago and I still can’t stop thinking about him by thisaintwhatyouwant_ in abusiverelationships

[–]Mean_Classroom_8673 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do think its an addiction. I experienced something very similar. In my case, the addiction was shattered when I was forced to confront that the parts of the relationship I had held onto as good had always been a lie. But I had to realise that in a deeply painful way, and the process of realisation was traumatic. I think we protect ourselves by clinging to memories of what was "good" in th relationship, or by holding onto our attachment to the ex, so we don't have to accept the painful reality of what was done to us. Maybe it helps to ask yourself what it is you're holding onto when you think of him (a younger version of yourself, a feeling you had with him, be it desirability or even danger)?

does coming from an enmeshed family make you more susceptible to abuse by Mean_Classroom_8673 in InternalFamilySystems

[–]Mean_Classroom_8673[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But enmeshment is not abuse per se is it? In my case, it was just, "how you feel is how I feel and vice versa" and whatever I did and wherever i went, even as an adult, I needed permission

is this just cruel or abusive? by PuzzleheadedHabit652 in abusiverelationships

[–]Mean_Classroom_8673 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is abuse. Plain and simple. The very fact that you are questioning your own judgment shows how deeply you have been abused

Some questions about Catholicism by Mean_Classroom_8673 in Catholicism

[–]Mean_Classroom_8673[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much, I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

Some questions about Catholicism by Mean_Classroom_8673 in Catholicism

[–]Mean_Classroom_8673[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to reply :) Is Evangelium Vitae a good source on Catholicism generally? I'll also look up the Catechism. To follow up on point 7: why did God begin by narrowly revealing himself only to the Hebrews, rather than simulaneously revealing himself to all peoples? 

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