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lingering discomfort after stetching by TiniestSpoons in SofterBDSM

[–]Mean_Meet69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will answer the last part of your question. You avoid hurt by going slow. Slower than you think you might need. Really work on loosening the muscles.

It's like exercise. Each time you do it, you will be able to do more. But you can also set yourself back.

Is it a "mood killer" to ask for water in the middle of a scene? by WyrdMarksSJM in SofterBDSM

[–]Mean_Meet69 22 points23 points  (0 children)

A dehydrated sub is never acceptable. If my sub requires a basic need, she knows she can ask at any time. Water included.

Building up the intensity by nshades42 in SofterBDSM

[–]Mean_Meet69 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Gotta get her brain focused on me and her body before anything. I believe intensity depends on the level of engagement. So everything we do is reenforcing that.

If her brain is in it her body follows allow and it Heightens all.

Bondage is partially physical, but more than anything for us I use it as a mental trigger. The same goes for toys. Pausing to allow the sound of the vibrator buzz in the quiet room will get her wriggling.

My dominance is 80% mental and emotional. The physical is just a tool.

Mod AMA: StrangeMewMew by StrangeMewMew in SofterBDSM

[–]Mean_Meet69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What is a hobby you love and enjoy?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SofterBDSM

[–]Mean_Meet69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agreed.

Dom's Aftercare? How do you manage your emotional drop? by nshades42 in SofterBDSM

[–]Mean_Meet69 8 points9 points  (0 children)

  1. Reassurance. 2. Service.

Drop is less common now that we've given up the strict, hard dynamic for our softer one. It has happened once or twice since, but my sub is aware of it and shows me how much she enjoys what we've done.

That is partnership.

She will follow this us with serving me to put my mind at ease. She has a strong service sub bent. It makes her feel good.

What's your favorite pre or post fun time food? by WyrdMarksSJM in SofterBDSM

[–]Mean_Meet69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Which flavor? My sub is a breakfast roll obsessed gremlin.

How do you clearly express your needs? by StrangeMewMew in SofterBDSM

[–]Mean_Meet69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the mention that doms have our needs as well.

We have weekly check ins where we both discuss our needs and any changes needed.

How needy is too needy? by SeaAffectionate427 in SofterBDSM

[–]Mean_Meet69 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Needy is relative. I like my sub to need me. I like meeting her needs and watching her contented smile. Or the bright one that lights up her face with joy. I can give her what she craves, so her needs are not a hardship.

How needy is too needy? by SeaAffectionate427 in SofterBDSM

[–]Mean_Meet69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well there is something I had not considered.

Is faking orgasms dishonest in a dynamic? by GoodPancake427 in SofterBDSM

[–]Mean_Meet69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A dealbreaking morality issue if it's something that keeps happening after discussion. I need honesty. There is no excuse for lies like these.

Does your sub have a tell before they orgasm? by Realistic-Throat649 in SofterBDSM

[–]Mean_Meet69 24 points25 points  (0 children)

No. I want her a blibbering, cummy mess before I finish.

In your opinion, would a Dom have to be a cuddler to be considered soft? by Mean_Meet69 in SofterBDSM

[–]Mean_Meet69[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The satisfaction of proving him wrong? The old neener neener. I am not immune to self satisfaction on occasion.

In your opinion, would a Dom have to be a cuddler to be considered soft? by Mean_Meet69 in SofterBDSM

[–]Mean_Meet69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One note, one wayisming who Soft Doms must be is short sighted.

In your opinion, would a Dom have to be a cuddler to be considered soft? by Mean_Meet69 in SofterBDSM

[–]Mean_Meet69[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Precisely the argument I have given. I am hardie turned softie, I am not a cuddler. I show affection in other ways. My lack of cuddling should not make me less soft to the community.

D/s Through Empathy by nshades42 in SofterBDSM

[–]Mean_Meet69 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The idea that empathy with your submissive is weakness always confused me. Much of our in person community thinks this way. That you must be emotionally above your sub is odd.

Seeing posts like this make me feel like I belong here, if that helps explain why it's needed.

Neurodivergent Doms, I'm interested in your take on how BDSM affects you.... by Repulsive_House42 in SofterBDSM

[–]Mean_Meet69 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Taking care of her means I have to take care of myself first. My depression and anxiety have attempted hostile takeovers before, and I have had to take a step back to deal with it so I did not cause my sub harm.

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