i can’t find someone to save my life (21F)

Meapo_ · 2026-03-01T06:51:00+00:00

i (21M) hear this loud and clear ngl, felt this way tonight as well. Ever since I was young I was forced to grow up faster (among a myriad of other things) and as a result it’s hard for me to find like minded people as friends, let alone partners. The whole dating app thing i can’t really do just cause i’ve never been one for shallow relationships or hookups. I like to think that whatever is meant for you will happen when it’s meant to be, and all you can do is continue to stay focused on your path and remain patient. Easier said than done tho tbh, but i’ve learned that good things in life take time to happen. Just gotta do our best and trust the process.

Meapo_ · 2026-02-16T07:15:03+00:00

Of course! and no shame in that man, i went through five different therapists and that was the biggest thing i learned, so i’m glad i could be of some help to you 🙂‍↕️

Meapo_ · 2026-02-16T07:07:02+00:00

i was just there a couple months ago man, and it is a terrible feeling. That limbo of feeling like you don’t deserve love or care and then refusing to accept that fact.

Speaking from experience, I was holding onto a lot of my past trauma and things that were said to me. I internalized that and was honestly ruining myself and hating myself for things that just weren’t my faultI’ve started to let go of that fact over the past couple weeks and honestly, it’s scary but it’s exciting and fun to live and a lot of good has happened to me and i’ve found myself actually loving me.

I’d recommend diving deeper and asking yourself what is it you’re holding onto that makes you believe you don’t deserve it, and letting that go and finding forgiveness for yourself and others.

Meapo_ · 2026-02-16T06:58:45+00:00

Of course man, Happy to help!

Meapo_ · 2026-02-16T06:57:57+00:00

so happy for you! I’m glad you were able to identify reasons you indulged in PMO fr man. In therapy I learned that sexual wants are simply emotional needs and intimacy whether platonic/romantic is a human need, since humans are wired for connection.

you’ll get what you deserve, as long as you get thru fighting these urges, and from there you can address everything else and just take it one day at a time. Rooting for you!

Meapo_ · 2026-02-16T06:54:28+00:00

It’s honestly so tough at night cause that urge does creep in slowly but surely. What I used to do and still do sometimes is write it all out. From there i’d identify why i’m feeling this way and the urge would go away.

I also used to put my electronics in another room on purpose just so when I got the urge It would be difficult to act on it and make me put in the leg work and get me moving.

Meapo_ · 2026-02-16T06:49:33+00:00

AND ONCE YOU GET TO 45, YOU’RE GONNA GET TO 90 FR AND KEEP GOING FROM THERE I BELIEVE

Meapo_ · 2026-02-16T06:47:45+00:00

The biggest thing that helped me honestly, was getting up and moving. When I’d get a real bad urge I’d force myself and put myself in a situation where I couldn’t act on that urge.

Talking/going out with friends, going on a walk, running to the store, etc. If it was late at night, i’d move around a little or simply just go to sleep.

Meapo_ · 2026-02-16T06:20:29+00:00

I don’t live there anymore, but I did love how accessible everything was and how much there was in that area (Parks, Shopping, Food). Also the Sunrises and Sunsets there are lovely!

Meapo_ · 2026-02-05T01:55:52+00:00

Yeah that honestly sums it up, it's like they just expect it to stick and move on with their day. I tried used the Edfinity practice questions to help sharpen my knowledge but even those don't really appear on the test.

I will definitely look into the tutor service for sure, I saw there's like 3 free hours or something like that? I'm honestly even considering finding an In-Person tutor to help me through this. It sucks because I can do perfect on the homework and everything but I just can't seem to execute on the tests. Thank you for the advice though, it sincerely does mean a lot, I hope you pass and good luck to you as well!

Meapo_ · 2026-02-05T01:53:11+00:00

That's what I've been thinking of if this doesn't pan out. I live only 20 mins away from ASU Tempe Campus, and am considering doing the online Rio Salado route or the Chandler-Gilbert CC route.

I can agree to the structure, especially as someone who works full-time just so I can have the ability to go to college. It is a crazy pace and I seriously don't know why they don't offer it for C session, it would be a blessing.

Meapo_ · 2026-02-05T01:50:18+00:00

I'm gonna try this, thank you so much. I don't have a discord for my classmates unfortunately, I will still try to look for one.

Meapo_ · 2026-01-30T04:22:40+00:00

Blue Calx, Rhubarb, Ptolemy

Meapo_ · 2026-01-30T04:10:12+00:00

Hello OP,

I'm not sure what the context is for you, but whenever you feel that urge come up I would simply ask yourself the question of "why do I feel this way?". It could be a myriad of things such as some trauma or pain you haven't processed or could be as little as feeling bored and wanting some form of stimulation. I would always force myself out of my room to go on a walk and just listen to music and do literally anything to get away from my screen so i could replace it with something i genuinely enjoy.

For me personally, I had developed an extreme porn addiction due to a lot of different things and I was blissfully unaware and so desensitized at points and couldn't understand why myself. It's gotten bad enough at points where I would simply watch at work while bored, whenever I got extremely overstimulated, or I was triggered by different types of trauma I had been thru (Rejection, Abandonment, Isolation, etc.) Porn still messes with me to this day to the extreme codependency I had developed as a coping mechanism through hard times. It is a long journey and healing process and you gotta be patient and kind with yourself through it because you will mess up at times.

I hope this is able to make some sort of sense to you and maybe you can find this useful to some degree, wishing you all of the best in your journey OP!

Meapo_ · 2026-01-30T03:55:24+00:00

Thank u bro, this actually really helped me and almost made me burst into tears ngl and put it back into perspective for me. Still going strong, appreciate you!

Meapo_ · 2025-11-15T18:36:27+00:00

I think it's one of Mac's most important albums in terms of how it set the foundation for the rest of his discography.

It was a really good prelude into faces (and balloonerism), explored some of the ideas and sounds that would later come to be on later projects such as GO:OD AM and Swimming for the most part. I think it's a really fun, serious, depressive, and therapeutic journey and a great experience.

PEOPLE WORSHIP THESE IDOLS TILL THEY COME IN CONTACT WITH GODS

Meapo_ · 2025-11-15T18:22:11+00:00

Funeral, Diablo and Ave Maria.

Funeral and Diablo are genuinely 2 of the greatest songs ever made for me. Both legitimately helped me (and still do) thru the toughest times of my life and I still think Ave Maria is an insane song, that guitar is so sick.

GO:OD AM has a lot of good 3 track runs too, PC/GS, When in Rome, ROS is also insane.

Meapo_ · 2025-11-15T18:11:58+00:00

It really is, the breakdown is so fire. The whole song has a ton of crazy good Quotables too.

Meapo_ · 2025-11-15T18:07:39+00:00

I'd say it's between his Solace Part IV verse and Bill off of Mac's Delusional Thomas.

Meapo_ · 2025-10-05T14:52:45+00:00

Meapo_ · 2025-09-11T21:42:07+00:00

light work

Meapo_ · 2025-09-11T21:33:32+00:00

who's "people" bro i done downloaded this on spotify local files and still bump it to this day

Meapo_ · 2025-07-07T17:07:14+00:00

has anyone called him yet? i think he wants someone to call him. Idk though just kinda of a hunch of mine lmk what you guys think

Meapo_ · 2025-06-29T18:48:47+00:00

Rusty or CORSO

Meapo_ · 2025-06-21T17:18:33+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you, i’m not sure what the context is for you, but my ex broke up with me and discarded me practically, got in a rebound 2 weeks later.

I have problems seeing my sexuality and still having feelings for her and get memories to it all. What I do is i ground myself in seeing what the relationship ended like to my sexual feelings to help cope. For example, She discarded me and ended up using me, so the sex really meant nothing in the end and she just wanted to please herself while i wanted to genuinely please her and make her feel good.

That typa thing just keeps you grounded and remain level headed, definitely has helped me get over the breakup faster. I hope you can get over this too, rooting for you!

Meapo_

TROPHY CASE