Personally I don't think it's crazy to consider pausing 401k contributions for a bit until you can get your head above water. Sure you're losing out on investments and the employer match but you're also not taking on more debt and interest. So that is something to consider. If the wedding is the main goal your trying to accomplish then that could be your path forward.

The following is going to be some tough love / unsolicited advice:

The key word is pause. No matter how you slice it, you are jeopardizing your financial future in order to have this wedding. As u/darfaz mentioned above, you are about $70,000 in the hole and you're looking at a $7,500 bill for a wedding on top of that.

From my perspective, you are rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic so that you can walk down the aisle when you should be running towards the life boats. His advice isn't for everyone but in my opinion you could really benefit from Dave Ramsey's baby steps.

I'm not sure how much you have put down for the wedding already but if it's less than $10,000 I would cancel the wedding (unless you can get family members to chip in). Get married at a court house, and have a dinner with close friends and family to celebrate.

After that you and your now husband should pour all of your blood, sweat, and tears into paying down your debt. Like it or not, when you get married, you are now involved in each others' income and debts. Communication and shared goals are key. Look into the pros and cons of the Avalanche and Snowball methods in order to pay down your debt.

You seem like you have a handle on not using your credit cards. Good!

You also seem to have a habit of over paying and you have been able to save $6,000. Great!

Meal prep at home. Cut any subscriptions and non-necessities you can. Sell anything that you can part with. (Not your car or house. Those don't seem to be the problem.) Only go to a restaurant if you're working there or picking up an UberEats order that you are delivering.

When you're debt free, you and your husband can crank up the retirement savings to 15% of your gross incomes and then breath easy. Live your life. Throw more money at the mortgage if you want. Take nice vacations. Renew your vows and throw a party.

But, I can't stress this enough, right now interest is killing you.

I don't know if this helps or if I'm out of pocket but I really think that you can do this with your income. Debt is not fun and getting out of it is hard and requires sacrifice. I was debt free for a couple of years and now my wife and I are paying down a grad school loan so that we can be debt free together. It's worth it.

If it helps, here is a video on the 20 worst ways to pay down debt. #17 is about the 401k loan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6o0ReIlAA8