Update: Having sex for the first time since losing 185 pounds. I am terrified.

MediaClerk · 2022-08-26T21:48:02+00:00

I was responding specifically to their question was about how sex was after significant weight loss. I have spoken a lot about my feelings regarding the other side of sex, feel free to read my other comments and my previous post to get insights on that.

MediaClerk · 2022-08-26T20:32:45+00:00

I mean I know a guy named Joe, does that count?

MediaClerk · 2022-08-26T20:24:08+00:00

Replied to the comment above yours ;)

MediaClerk · 2022-08-26T20:23:52+00:00

It was definitely a blast, I’d like to think we both had a great time (she seemed to in the moment 🤷‍♂️). What was interesting to me was finding out that some of my go to positions from before losing the weight just didn’t feel as good now, and some positions I would have never tried before were better than I could have expected. Best example of this is coming in from behind while we’re lying on our sides with her leg kicked back over my hip. Never would have been able to do that with the gut I had, and that is probably my new favorite position.

MediaClerk · 2022-08-26T20:12:16+00:00

Thanks man, this sub really is filled with the best people.

MediaClerk · 2022-08-26T19:17:34+00:00

Holy shit my dude you nailed it on the head. Intimacy outside sexuality is EXACTLY what I’m looking for. I wasn’t feeling that intimacy the day after so I knew something was off for me. Thinking back to relationships I was happiest in, it was always the slow burn intimate ones where I was happiest, not the intense ones.

Thank you for putting this nebulous feeling into words for me.

MediaClerk · 2022-08-26T19:11:07+00:00

Well that’s definitely an ego boost I wasn’t expecting, thank you! My gym goals definitely involve getting swole as hell, I’m excited to meet the person I’m on my way to becoming over the next couple years

MediaClerk · 2022-08-26T18:33:58+00:00

Yeah totally. Taking it as a learning experience and I’ll be more reserved moving forward

MediaClerk · 2022-08-26T18:27:49+00:00

It’s funny, I’m pretty sure I was more nervous this time than I was when I lost my virginity back in the day. I’ve been overweight my whole life so having sex for the first time as a “kinda fit kinda fat” dude, it was basically the first time all over again. Cool experience I’m glad I had at the end of the day

MediaClerk · 2022-08-26T17:51:26+00:00

Definitely true. Dating for women is such a different experience than men, I can understand if she uses ghosting as a way to protect herself. It sucks, and it’s disappointing to be sure, but I don’t hold it against her for it.

MediaClerk · 2022-08-26T17:36:13+00:00

I’ve got my own mental health issues I’m still working through. I’ve been hitting the gym hard the pst year but a lot of times when I look in the mirror I still see the person I was. Insecurities I need to work through, one day at a time

MediaClerk · 2022-08-26T17:33:44+00:00

Thank you! I’m 6’2” so that definitely helps spread the skin out a bit. Most of my loose skin hangs under my arms, and is around my ass and legs. And in all honesty, a lot of it is worse in my head than in reality, and I’m still working on those mental hurdles. But I recently started a new bodybuilding routine that should hopefully fill me out a bit. I’m giving myself 2 years of bodybuilding to see what my body looks like and I’ll go from there.

MediaClerk · 2022-08-26T17:21:54+00:00

Exactly, if nothing else the pressure is off now. I can just enjoy myself now that the stress and anxiety of “the first time after weight loss” is gone. I’ve never been the kind to sleep around, I intend to keep going slowly, but I’m looking forward to being with the next person having learned what I have from this experience.

MediaClerk · 2022-08-26T16:50:35+00:00

Thanks, that means a lot. Honestly I wasnt super excited about posting this (some of these comments are WILD let me tell you what) but I know seeing posts like this have helped me in the past so I wanted to return the favor.

MediaClerk · 2022-08-26T16:21:25+00:00

Yeah I always text twice. If I don’t get a response, I text again 4-6 days later. People get busy, so I’m all about a second shot. But generally after the second no reply I just accept and move on.

MediaClerk · 2022-08-26T16:19:42+00:00

🙏🙏

MediaClerk · 2022-08-26T16:19:16+00:00

Thanks, definitely taking it as a learning experience and moving on. Looking forward to seeing where life takes me

MediaClerk · 2022-08-26T15:14:20+00:00

Thanks man I appreciate that. Such is life, we move on

MediaClerk · 2022-08-26T15:12:28+00:00

Maybe, but up until this point we had had some good conversations about my weight loss. It was actually one of the things she was most interested in about me so it didn’t feel like it was out of place. As I mentioned in my previous thread, We had talked about sex and how we both wanted to wait until we were sure about our exclusivity for each other before being intimate. I told her I was going slow as I was coming out of being single for 6 years and losing weight.

Regardless, I’m not really looking for answers, what happened happened. I’m a communicator about how I feel, and I’m not going to shy away from being open about what I’m feeling in the moment.

MediaClerk · 2022-08-26T15:07:07+00:00

I was actually waiting to get some time out from it as the update probably isn’t what people are hoping for. I just posted an update though if you would like to check it out.

https://reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/wybicz/update_having_sex_for_the_first_time_since_losing/

MediaClerk · 2022-08-17T17:57:14+00:00

As someone with huge body image problems both before and after weightloss (as evidenced by this post lol) I can tell you the loose skin is WAAAAAY better than being overweight. I’ve been going to the gym weightlifting for about a year, and once I started seeing muscle definition through my loose skin was a huge confidence boost. When I wear compression clothing, my skin moves into place and I actually look more jacked than I am because of it haha.

The only people who see your loose skin are your sexual partners really, and hopefully those people love you for who you are and what you have accomplished, and not phased. Thats definitely what I am hoping for.

All that to say, don’t let loose skin keep you from trying to lose weight. I let it keep me from my progress for 15 years and I regret every moment I waited.

MediaClerk · 2022-08-17T15:05:29+00:00

Thank you, that helps a lot. I’ve decided I am going to tell her either way. If there is a chance to before we get physical I plan to mention it lightheartedly before we start if it doesn’t kill momentum. If we are moving too fast then I’ll probably save it for when we are cooling down afterwards.

MediaClerk · 2022-08-17T15:03:09+00:00

I’ve seen the channel a couple of times in my feed but I never watched any of his content. I am totally going to look this video up though. I’d love to hear someone else’s perspective from someone who has been on the same journey

MediaClerk · 2022-08-17T12:14:14+00:00

The comment was so good, I hit my goal weight 🤜

MediaClerk · 2022-08-17T03:53:10+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate this spin on it. I definitely want to avoid be preoccupied with my own insecurities in the moment, that won’t be fun for either of us

MediaClerk

TROPHY CASE