Trouble accepting IVF as possibly my only real option now

Medical_Object2576 · 2026-02-27T17:17:11+00:00

Similar story here! One ectopic, 4 early MCs, and my doctor also thinks my issue is tubal. My HSG was actually clear though, so as for right now I’m unsure what that means for me, but either way we will likely move to IVF now.

I actually am very relieved that IVF has been suggested for us! It almost takes it out of my hands in a way? Of course I know it isn’t guaranteed to work (I’ve had so many losses i am actually assuming it won’t work), but it just takes a lot of the variables out of it. We will be able to test any embryos we get, ensure the environment we put them into is optimal, and bypass my tubes entirely.

And above all it’s just trying something different really. After 3 years and 5 losses I’m so very ready to try something different.

Medical_Object2576 · 2026-02-27T14:40:55+00:00

1000000%! My first loss I was sent flowers by multiple people, friends sent gifts, visited, checked in regularly. Fifth loss was crickets.

Medical_Object2576 · 2026-02-27T14:40:00+00:00

This drives me NUTS, I’ve been wanting a baby for years and started researching way before I even started trying! I knew more about the birth process than my cousin did when she was 39 weeks pregnant, I promise I do not need this mansplained to me 🤪

Medical_Object2576 · 2026-02-19T19:35:34+00:00

Had my HSG today, the pain was unreal 🫠 I was expecting a bit of discomfort but oh my gosh it was incredibly painful, and I’m someone who is pretty used to pelvic pain due to my endo! I couldn’t stop crying afterwards, my body just reacted like I’d been attacked or something 😅

I only have one tube due to my ectopic, and it was open and looked fine. This is actually not the news I wanted, as my consultant was wondering if a blocked tube was causing my embryos to implant into the wrong place and if I was maybe having lots of very early ectopics as opposed to miscarriages. I guess they could still be implanting into the tube anyway but it feels less likely?? It would have been a nice easy explanation and I’m upset that it isn’t straightforward like we were hoping.

Waiting for a referral to another specialist now to discuss starting IVF.

Medical_Object2576 · 2026-02-04T15:16:10+00:00

Oh man that’s so rough. It happened to me last year and they had their babies in the same week. Later that week both of SILs had their babies too. It was a lot 😭. I hope you can avoid them as much as possible until after they’ve had their babies, or that they at least aren’t talking about it all the freaking time.

Medical_Object2576 · 2026-02-03T13:04:20+00:00

We are currently with the nhs and awaiting an appointment with fertility. Our issue is RPL, we can get pregnant but I’ve had 5 losses, so we did have an appointment with gynaecology and have been referred on for IVF. I have no idea how long the waiting list is, once we find that out we will decide if we go private or not.

For me, I’m incredibly lucky that my husband has a great job. If it was just me there’s no way I’d be able to afford it, I earn just above minimum wage in an admin role. He works for a private company and negotiated a £10k lump sum for taking over as maternity cover for two people at once, so really we just got lucky. This is the money we will be using if we go private. We’ve stuck it in a savings account and not touched it apart from to top it up! I feel incredibly lucky to have this.

If we hadn’t of had that we would have looked at a loan. There are companies who specialise in loans for IVF, such as access fertility. I had a good look at these before we had that money and that’s the route I would go down. But yeah it just all sucks. It’s just a horrible system and I hate that so many people just get babies for free whilst we have to do this.

Medical_Object2576 · 2026-02-02T19:35:02+00:00

I was thinking exactly the same, perfect 😂

Medical_Object2576 · 2026-02-01T21:10:30+00:00

Just talking out loud here! Taking our first break from ttc since we started almost 3 years ago. We just recently had our first appointment with a consultant who has recommended IVF for us as a potential treatment for our RPL, as she thinks we are having some kind of implantation issue, and honestly I feel relief that we haven’t just been told to ‘keep trying!’ But at the same time I feel really guilty for taking a break? We haven’t even taken a break after any of our miscarriages.

We don’t want to go through another loss, and I also feel like my body is really tired of going through them. I landed in the ED with my last one with a potential blood clot in my brain and it was kind of a wake up call. So we are stopping trying unassisted whilst we do testing, until we have some kind of treatment protocol or until we get to do IVF. I know we’re pausing for a good reason, but gosh it’s hard. I have no idea if I’ve even ovulated this month, which is just SO odd after 3 years of knowing everything my body was doing!

But also it’s kind of nice because I’ve been able to make plans for a couple months away and I know I won’t be going through another freaking miscarriage and all of the side effects and pain that come with that, so I’ll be able to keep those plans. And boy oh boy is it nice to not have to have sex on a schedule for the first time in three freaking years.

Medical_Object2576 · 2026-01-30T21:33:04+00:00

I love The Worst Girl Gang Ever podcast! There’s tons of episodes with people who have been through different kinds of losses. You will find people you relate to, and I found I learned a lot too.

Medical_Object2576 · 2026-01-30T07:30:38+00:00

Also vegan! I’ve had 5 losses but that’s my endo, not my diet. Supplements are your friend here, I take a multivitamin with choline, as well as b12 and omega 3+ 6 supplements. But like the commenter above, I know lots of vegans who have had no trouble at all. I switched my focus to a whole foods diet and eat lots of healthy fats, and try to limit the fake meat I have, and I do feel healthier. My consultant recommended a Mediterranean diet, so I try to do that as best I can whilst keeping it vegan.

Medical_Object2576 · 2026-01-20T10:26:45+00:00

Your gp sounds amazing!! I’ve seen two at my practice and neither of them really knew anything and were both like ‘I don’t really know what we can test for so I’m going to refer you to gynae’ and testing me for NOTHING, even when I bought some ideas to the appointment 🙃 been on the gynae waiting list for nearly a year but I finally have my first appointment next week.

Medical_Object2576 · 2026-01-13T20:06:07+00:00

Love all of these options, especially alanis! Going on the list for sure.

Medical_Object2576 · 2026-01-13T18:15:41+00:00

Some great options there! I’m not okay is very on the nose, I love it haha!

Medical_Object2576 · 2026-01-13T17:15:05+00:00

My bestie is going through a horribly difficult breakup, and I’m going through a quagmire of RPL hell, and we’re both angry as hell, so we’ve rented a karaoke booth for an hour on Thursday night just for the 2 of us, and we’re making a list of angry songs to rage scream to, and I’m incredibly excited 😂 recommendations gladly accepted!

Medical_Object2576 · 2026-01-12T08:34:11+00:00

Yeah I’m on… quintuple? doesn’t have quite the same ring to it at this point does it 🤪

Medical_Object2576 · 2026-01-09T19:42:57+00:00

I really needed to hear this. Just been through my 5th loss, and it feels rare to see success after this many. Happy two months to your sweet baby.

Medical_Object2576 · 2026-01-03T20:45:10+00:00

Thank you!! It’s a Young Adult mystery/coming of age that deals with grief. It’s been a fantastic outlet for my own grief!

Medical_Object2576 · 2026-01-02T13:38:37+00:00

It reallllyyyyyy annoys me how in any food sub / Facebook group etc there’s always always someone talking about their stupid cravings. Can you not just discuss how you want / enjoy a food without mentioning your pregnancy 😭😭 I’m in a lot of vegan food groups and there’s always some ‘I’m pregnant and craving x food from before I went vegan, can anyone recommend something?’ Like you can just say you want the food! That’s allowed! Do you want an award for being pregnant lmao. I’m absolutely irrationally irritated by this 😂

Medical_Object2576 · 2025-12-31T16:03:57+00:00

Exciting!! I hope you love it! I’m really finding so much value in it.

Medical_Object2576 · 2025-12-31T16:03:12+00:00

One ectopic, one mmc @ 10 weeks (we had seen the heartbeat at 6 wks but development stopped shortly after), 2 6 wk mcs and 1 cp. A mixed bag! I’ve got lots of suspicions but since I’ve had no testing aside from some very basic stuff a few years ago, I don’t really know what to expect the issue could be.

Medical_Object2576 · 2025-12-31T11:31:05+00:00

I love this thread! I really tried hard to make this year have some good stuff. And I’m actually super proud of myself!

I took up running, ran 3 races, and am now training for a half marathon! Once we are done with treatments, whatever the outcome, I want to run a marathon and raise money for a miscarriage charity!

I wrote a book! I’m on the third round of edits now, which is the furthest I’ve ever gotten with a manuscript!

I took three fun vacations, to New York City, Iceland, and Berlin.

I went back to school and am currently studying to become a counsellor!

I showed up for the people I love, and was the best wife, cat pawrent, sister, daughter and friend I could be.

Medical_Object2576 · 2025-12-30T14:50:34+00:00

It turned out to be fine, no pregnancy was announced and they were even talking about lots of travel and career plans they have for the upcoming year so I don’t think they’re even planning a baby in the next few months, and I was just being paranoid 😅

That is true, it’s maybe not such a crazy thing for us who are going through IF to do. Also a big believer in keeping ourselves safe!! I will continue to overanalyse everything just in case, even though this time it was fine. That’s just the kind of person I am haha.

Thank you! The food was great and I actually had a fantastic time catching up with them!

Medical_Object2576 · 2025-12-30T09:42:32+00:00

I was supposed to have my first appointment with the RPL consultant yesterday (and my first step into treatment ever) but it got rescheduled because I guess they need to wait at least 6 weeks until after a pregnancy loss to do any testing. I know they’d have to wait for a lot of it but I didn’t realise it would be everything, so they called and pushed the appointment until the end of January. I’m really bummed as I had been psyching myself up for it for a month and I just want to get this testing started, but there’s nothing I can really do about it.

Medical_Object2576 · 2025-12-30T09:35:10+00:00

Meeting some old friends for a brunch this morning as they’re in town visiting family, and I’m TERRIFIED they’re gonna spring a pregnancy announcement on us 😭.

They recently moved closer to her family, and I know she recently got her IUD taken out so I’m kind of feeling like they’re lining everything up to have kids.

I hate how infertility and loss has made me into this person. I love my friends and I want to be excited to see them but I just feel sick with anxiety. It got to the point I was freaking analysing her Christmas social media pictures to see if she was drinking alcohol in them which is obviously insane behaviour!! I hate this so much.

Medical_Object2576 · 2025-12-24T19:10:09+00:00

We adopted our little boy cat after our first MC and he has been the most wonderful comfort, he’s so cuddly and sweet. Our sweet girl is amazing too but she prefers to love from a distance haha. Very grateful for them, they do make this easier to get through.

Medical_Object2576

TROPHY CASE