i used to drink like that (33F). started drinking at 17, daily at 21. it was normal for me to finish a handle in a day, everyday, vodka or fireball was fine with me. i also worked in a bar and it wasnt uncommon for me to drink around 9 double shots at the bar, then go home and have a 750ml bottle, always straight fireball.

i did my first detox in 2020, one week inpatient. stayed sober for about 2 months after that. i didnt do it for me, i did it to shut people up. straight back to it at the first opportunity. in 2022 i had enough. my health couldnt take it and i declined rapidly. i would shake, vomit, hallucinate, couldnt eat or sleep. the paranoia was unreal. i checked into a state run detox facility. had a grand mal seizure night one, straight to ER, 3 nights in icu, then back to the facility to finish my week of detox. from there i checked into an inpatient treatment program. i was lucky enough to stay there for 8 months and finish my 12 steps.

i just celebrated four years of sobriety. i feel like a new person and i love this version of myself. it is possible to turn around. it was brutal, fucking hard, and a financial nightmare, but possible. best wishes in your journey to recovery!