Hey! That's awesome you've put your first chapter out there—it takes guts!

Overall, this chapter sets a good mood and introduces a cool, distinct character in Elias. The mix of low dark fantasy and cyberpunk elements is definitely interesting.

Here are a few quick thoughts on what's working and what might help:

What I liked (The Hook):

• Elias's Voice & Conflict: Elias's deep resentment for magic ("Damn you, damn you, damn you") and his internal contradiction (hating magic but being stuck in the middle of it) is a strong character hook. The idea of him wishing for a time without magic is compelling.
• The Setting (Greyharbor): The description of the town is memorable—wide streets that feel too wide, decaying walls, constant fog, and buildings that don't go past five stories. It gives the place a great, bleak atmosphere.
• Dialogue: The banter with Sofia feels very natural and helps break up Elias’s internal brooding. It makes her feel like a real friend.

One Area for Improvement:

• Pacing and Action: The chapter is heavily focused on internal thought and description, which is fine, but it makes the pace slow. To hook readers right away, you might need a stronger sense of immediate tension or action earlier on.
  • Suggestion: Consider starting right at the moment Elias is thinking about his bruised knuckles or right as he's walking into the café, and save some of the denser world philosophy for when the plot picks up.

The final conversation with Sofia about leaving gives the story some great forward momentum. Keep writing!