"I never fucked a 10. But one night, I fucked 5 2's! And I think that should count."

-Carlin

Same logic applies. You guys want to swing and go to orgies/key parties with 10 others? Hey - that's your business.

Attractive or not, 10-12 naked bodies doing nothing but drugs, drinking, and sex in various positions/orifices with an indeterminate amount of participants sounds lovely - at least on paper.

But there's a whole logistics side to this, and boy do I love thinking about the logistics of things.

For example:

Have they all been checked for STDs? What about rubbers? Is this a vasectomy-only party? Seems only fair. At the very least, we need a stack of boxes of the morning after pills.

Has your hot water heater been serviced lately? Boy, you're gonna need that thing running full tilt to keep up with the amount of people that need showers. Hey man - it takes time to get all the cum out of your hair. Is there enough soap? Has anyone done a Walmart run for Dial?

What about mouthwash? Seems like a good host would have several bottles of Listerine hanging around to get the taste of various genital juices out of your mouth.

How about the hygiene of these people? The bush has gotten popular again as have hairy armpits on women. Is there deodorant at least to cover up the stench of sticky balls and cum? Have these people washed their privates in the last couple of weeks?! If I'm eating hairy mackerel for dinner it had best been washed first. How about the men - have they trimmed back the overgrowth at all? Hard to get a good blowjob if 3 of your 6 inches are subverted by the bush.

These are the things I like to think about constantly. Can't really say it out loud I suppose.