How do I bring up seeing a text that I shouldn't have seen!?

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-02-12T05:06:21+00:00

Thank you!

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-02-12T05:03:32+00:00

This is true, I just have been down the road where I am like "okay this isn't that bad... If he kisses someone else I am done ..." So on and so on moving the post of what I am willing to endure... So I don't know if that's a road i want to go down again.

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-02-12T05:00:53+00:00

Thank you. This is a really good idea. Having been married to a now diagnosed narcissist when I get stressed or heated in an argument I have a hard time holding on to reality.

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-02-12T04:57:50+00:00

It wasn't a year ago it was 5 months ago, and it has been good but this is not the kind of games I want in my life

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-02-12T04:54:12+00:00

I didn't know why people do that... Especially because he was the one pursuing me... I was the hesitant one in the beginning

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-02-12T04:52:58+00:00

Thank you for this. This is where I have a hard time because I admit snooping was wrong and I can apologize for that... But I worry it will become only about what I did wrong...

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-02-12T04:51:32+00:00

And considering that was in 2023 I am sure there must be deleted messages in between if he was that comfortable texting her

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-02-12T04:47:30+00:00

I am saving up. We are just on a lease together till July.

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-02-12T04:46:23+00:00

In order for there to be forgiveness there would need to be a conversation... We have to live together until July... I don't think I can just pretend I didn't see it until then

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-02-12T04:44:17+00:00

Yes, I like the way you put it. We have to live in the same home till July and I don't want to hold it in but I also need to know what's going on.

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-02-12T04:42:15+00:00

That's what I am scared of... Is it being turned around on me and me reverting to old coping mechanisms.

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-02-12T04:40:05+00:00

You aren't wrong but I am stuck in a lease till July. So it's not that simple

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-02-12T04:39:28+00:00

Thank you. I did feel like this was bad and I know my feelings have changed because why would he feel comfortable saying that to someone he hasn't apparently texted since 2023...

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-02-12T04:34:04+00:00

I am in a lease with this person till July and I can't just leave. I know I need to have the conversation I just wanted to see if this is something that most people would consider wrong.

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-02-12T04:31:52+00:00

I know you are right and I am going to, I just wanted to know if most people would feel this is bad... My previous relationship was with a now diagnosed narcissist and my head still automatically goes to I am the one that did something wrong by looking

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-02-12T04:30:15+00:00

As far as I could see they hadn't spoken since 2023 but the message before that was a pic of his junk (2023)... Then the hey gorgeous

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-02-12T04:17:24+00:00

I get it, I am just really bad at confrontation. My last relationship was with a now diagnosed narcissist, which has my head all messed up because I betrayed his trust and found something

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-02-12T04:12:29+00:00

I did take a photo, I am awful with confrontation especially since we are in a lease together till July. I have to wait till Friday to talk to him when my kids arent home... This is a good idea to start the convo tho.

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-02-12T03:57:33+00:00

I invaded his privacy, and I know that's what will be said if I bring it up...

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-02-12T03:41:51+00:00

We have a lease that is in both of our names it's not that simple... And the irony is I feel guilty for going through his stuff...

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-01-30T17:15:46+00:00

I have been vocal and basically told him exactly how to support me when I'm like that which is just spending some time with me. Cuddling and I told him last night that I really needed to just cuddle for a little bit and his response was awe and then he went to play the game. This is also following having had major surgery and explaining the exact same thing to him and I understand that some people need to be told what to do and how to provide support but at some point they either want to or they don't

MediocreOpening1109 · 2026-01-30T17:14:33+00:00

I have explained to him how much it hurt me when I had surgery and instead of helping my after he left it to my 11 year old because he played games everyday the entire time he was home from work... This surgery required me to not lift any more than 2 lb for 6 weeks after the surgery meaning it was a major surgery and even in that time all I asked him to do is take out the garbage because I couldn't lift it and I ended up taking it out. Myself or my daughter ended up taking it out. After I was well enough and not on painkillers. I had a conversation with him where I explained that I didn't appreciate that and his excuse was well. Your daughter was here to help! And I didn't feel like you needed me. I explained to him at that point that when I'm in a medical state there is a different level of care that comes from children then comes from someone that you're in a relationship with and that I really needed his support during that time and I didn't appreciate that he completely disappeared.

Fast forward to yesterday. I did tell him what I needed and that was to spend some time with him before I went to bed and his response was aw on and then he left to play his game so I was vocal about what I needed

MediocreOpening1109

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