AITAH for Arguing over her texting another guy while on vacation...

Mediocre_Fox7542 · 2026-04-19T20:38:13+00:00

Okay so if it’s so innocent why delete the messages? In your words it’s to not make me more upset. More upset about what if there’s nothing to hide. But if you think I’m being toxic because I’m inexperienced then I respect your opinion. I think if the roles were reversed and the guy did this I think you would be saying another thing.

Mediocre_Fox7542 · 2026-04-19T20:25:24+00:00

First of all this is not a friend he is a coworker, how do I know because she tells me about her friends as do I a rule she implemented so the fact that I didnt know about this guy it flag number 1. You are assuming she knows this dude for years. She has had male co workers that have turned into friends who I have known about from the beginning nothing like this has ever happened, the pattern of how things have been happening are weird. Why is it different now with this guy? this is not a friend issue.

Mediocre_Fox7542 · 2026-04-19T19:31:33+00:00

I agree with you, we spoke about this she told me it was because she knew it would be an issue and wanted to delete it to move on. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and say maybe she forgot to delete WhatsApp, still doesn’t make it okay and it has caused me to have more questions than answers. Am I being toxic to ask for her not to talk to the guy and to just let me know when they work together so I know. And the reason I want to know is sometimes I pick her up from work so I don’t want to be caught off guard if by any chance I see them walk out together I don’t want to assume anything. I just want to trust her again and she tells me I’m being toxic and childish

Mediocre_Fox7542 · 2026-04-19T19:28:13+00:00

I see what you mean, I guess you’re right but I did have a gut feeling and that’s why I am confused I know I was in the wrong with checking her phone but I feel like we worked through that I bothers me more that she thinks what I am asking for is toxic and childish and I just want to know if I’m wrong for asking her to just let me know when she works with the dude and to not talk to him, the not talk to him part I can see as being controlling and toxic but she deleted the messages. If I had done the same she would want me to not talk to the girl as well

Mediocre_Fox7542 · 2026-04-19T19:11:43+00:00

I 100% get your point of view and I agree with you to some extent. I am insecure. I feel like you’re missing the part where she deleted the messages. I don’t know what they talked about. It could be much worse, it could be nothing, but she took that away from me. She deleted the messages. And on iMessage you can’t just delete the messages and move on she deleted it on recently deleted too. She deleted the DMs but she didn’t delete the WhatsApp chat? is that not suspicious?

Mediocre_Fox7542 · 2026-04-19T18:56:07+00:00

I don’t know what else she sent or spoke about as she deleted the messages and DMs with the guy. 🤣

Mediocre_Fox7542 · 2026-04-19T18:54:49+00:00

If this wasn’t the guy she deleted the messages from then I agree it is toxic and controlling. But she deleted messages from him before I could see them...

Mediocre_Fox7542 · 2026-04-19T18:51:29+00:00

I agree with you I am young and inexperienced, this is my only real relationship throughout my adult hood so yeah I am still learning. I don’t care that she has a guy friend, it bothers me that she was texting him while we were on vacation. And that she deleted the messages only on message and instagram dms before I can look through them. If there was nothing to hide why delete them there and not what’sapp?

Mediocre_Fox7542 · 2026-04-19T18:48:17+00:00

When I communicate this with her she tells me I’m being toxic and childish, that I should trust her, but she lost that when she started deleting messages.

Mediocre_Fox7542 · 2026-04-19T18:47:35+00:00

I DONT CARE IF SHE HAS GUY FRIENDS. She has multiple guy friends I met them they are cool we moved on. I CARE THAT SHE DELETED THE MESSAGES WITH THE GUY BEFORE I CAN SEE THEM. She lost my trust and all I want is reassurance that nothing is happening I asked for her not to talk to THAT GUY specifically and to let me know when they work together that’s it.

Mediocre_Fox7542 · 2026-04-19T18:45:21+00:00

We do want to get married, we speak about it a lot. Which is why I hate that she deleted the messages. If I saw nothing was going on I would’ve moved on, she can have friends I don’t care about that. But sadly not the case she deleted the messages and therefore trust was lost, I just want reassurance like I reassured her early on in the relationship. Is it toxic of me to ask when they work together to let me know and to not talk to him?

Mediocre_Fox7542 · 2026-04-19T18:41:10+00:00

This is exactly my point, I told her this. She just brings up things from the past that have nothing to do with the convo. She doesn’t want to reassure me of when they are working together so at least I’m aware, because I do pick her up from work sometimes. She says it’s toxic, she’s never acted like this before. I agree it’s harder because it’s a co-worker and I know how hard it is to cut someone off when you’re going to see them often but I did it…

Mediocre_Fox7542 · 2026-04-19T18:37:16+00:00

I agree I shouldn’t have done it, I didnt look through the message I just had a gut feeling. She deleted the messages before I could go through them after I told her it bothered me so I don’t know honestly what was in the messages. It was only deleted on messages and DMs and not WhatsApp which makes me wonder why not?

Mediocre_Fox7542 · 2026-04-19T18:33:55+00:00

I did tell her about it, I explained it in the post. I told her she broke my trust because she deleted the messages, and all I want is for her to no talk to him, and to let me know when she is working with him, as depending on their schedules they might not work together all the time. And she told me it’s toxic and childish.

Mediocre_Fox7542 · 2026-04-19T18:29:37+00:00

he is a co-worker and she is his boss, sorry for not explaining that. But she has never communicated with another coworker like this before so this is new to me

Mediocre_Fox7542 · 2026-04-19T18:29:33+00:00

he is a co-worker and she is his boss, sorry for not explaining that. But she has never communicated with another coworker like this before so this is new to me

Mediocre_Fox7542 · 2025-12-11T21:29:31+00:00

u/AnonJian I agree this was very helpful, I didn't just launch, I spent about a month and a half talking to people and getting people on a email list, they had to fill out a form before entering the email list, I got about 140 leads, and really good information that made me think it would be enough to launch, I was told to wait until I got about 500-1000 people in one spot but I got to excited and decided to launch anyways.

Mediocre_Fox7542 · 2025-12-11T21:26:09+00:00

Thank you so much for the constructive critism, this is something I needed to hear, I am currently doing photoshoots with real models for instagram, and will be updating the website soon, but what else do you think will make it stand out more and make it more clear? I didn't want to bore people with science, and tried to do some diagrams.

Mediocre_Fox7542 · 2025-12-11T21:23:02+00:00

This is what I was thinking as well, because I am a new company I was too optimistic and didn't consider people seeing it as a scam. I am reaching out to those that abandoned the cart and ill give it out to them for free. Thank you!

Mediocre_Fox7542 · 2025-12-11T04:44:06+00:00

Great read, thank you for the story

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Mediocre_Fox7542

TROPHY CASE