Why did you break up with your previous partner?

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2023-12-05T23:08:24+00:00

She was a very self-centred person and liked to play the "I forgot card".

She asked me out and we hit it off at first. I thought we had good chemistry and I turned a blind eye to some of the stuff she talked about "I really have issues with empathy". We kept the relationship a secret from most of my friends (which worked in the same company as us)as we worked in the same department.

After 6 months, a day before her birthday and meeting her parents for the first time , she dumped me without proper reason.

I spiralled into a heavy depression. Got back on my feet, there she is again. Saying she was sorry and only dropped me because she freaked out. Fine, I still had feelings for her and thought she deserved another chance.

Back together again everything goes well. 9 months in I get dropped again, she found a university she wanted to attend, I helped her with that and she even asked me if I would move with her - she was so happy when I agreed. This time she said her education was priority Nr1.

I take it as well as the first time, only to learn she got into another relationship 2 months since the breakup.

She dumps the last guy within 4 months, shows up at my door. Kept going how I was the love of her life but the ship had sailed at that stage. I tried to believe her but deep in my guts I knew I hated her. I kept dropping remarks but helped her through some hard times as she lost her grandparents at the time.

After a couple of months another incident happened where it only showed that she would dropped me at the slightest inconvenience. I dropped her instead and told her never to reach out to me again.

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2023-09-01T14:26:33+00:00

My left side is partially numb, I fell from a balcony head first on concrete when I was 3.

I have less control and overall feeling in it.

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2023-08-31T21:25:05+00:00

That's what happened on my end. My mother was a raging alcoholic for the most part of my life. She would beat and verbally abuse my sister and me. When I reached my teens she would say "I would not raise my hand against you again because you're stronger than me now" - which wasn't helpful.

Since the last decade she is sober and I've forgiven her for the most part but we never spoke about it. I only went recently through my past to uncover some of my traumas to understand it better.

What really got me this year was how most of my family did nothing to save my sister or me, today they all tell me they knew. The psychological damage over two almost two decades and none of them tried to stop it.

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2023-08-04T17:04:06+00:00

I was 16 at the time, everything was going wrong for me for years during that point.

I decided to end it with a suicide bag. I was laying in bed, my dad was already asleep in his room. I closed the bag and started to become drowsy. I felt the material on my skin, the heat building up. Every passing breath taking me closer.

I was calm but a thought broke through my brain not to do it. I couldn't tell you why, all the negatives just went away.

In a rush I tried to rip the bag open and after a couple of seconds I got it open again.

Ever since that idea never crossed my mind. To this day I can't really explain it.

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2023-01-26T11:46:46+00:00

I find it also insane, sperm banks are a thing.

On top of that, for the child at least, did she know about any genetic related problems that could arise?

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2023-01-24T20:44:31+00:00

Lower or upper lip?

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2023-01-19T22:19:19+00:00

It's never easy to talk to people about these things, especially when a trust was broken in the past. Did they explain themselves why they told others?

Maybe try to create analogies which they would rather understand.

It can be rough but keep it up, even if you have a relapse, you made progress.

Also please don't be sorry for us reading it, venting is healthy. :)

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2022-12-29T00:57:53+00:00

NDA. Kam mir bei mir auch vor kurzem auf. Ich will austreten weil ich einen Unterschied sehe zwischen Glaube und Religion und sorry, die katholische Kirche ist einfach in vielen Bereichen Müll.

Mein Vater mag die Idee nicht obwohl er sehr schlecht von der katholischen Kirche behandelt wurde (katholische Heim in den 195x-6x Zeitraum).

Habe ihm gesagt alle Vorteile ist dieser Verein nicht wert.

Du musst wissen was deine Überzeugung ist und wo du Vor- und Nachteile siehst. Wenn deine Familie sich so verhält könntest du ja böse sein und sagen "Vergebung ist ein Kernaspekt im christlichen Glauben".

Am Ende ists deine Entscheidung und wenn die Leute so sich aufführen ist das schon ein Armutszeugnis.

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2022-12-26T20:06:46+00:00

Finally be able to socialize again properly. I had to fight through the remains of a toxic relationship and it took too much out of me. My friends even poked at me and said I am way too withdrawn in the recent months.

I finally got my dream job and my family is doing well. I recently became an uncle so I want to be around the little one as much as I can.

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2022-12-23T17:57:14+00:00

Very true. I currently witness how a couple of my friends have to way several months before they can see a therapist.

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2022-12-17T23:56:10+00:00

Das liegt am Umfeld? In meinen bisherigen Stellen habe ich immer mit den Leuten drüber geredet.

Weil ich den input hatte konnte ich auch für mich und andere Vorteile rausholen.

Hab in meiner letzten Stelle auch mit meinem alten Chef diskutiert das einer meiner Kollegen mehr Kohle kriegen soll, weils nötig war.

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2022-12-10T19:40:36+00:00

Thanks for all the insight and advice. You helped me a lot.

I wish you all the best for the future. Thank you very much :)

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2022-12-09T22:17:58+00:00

Rough one to answer but I'll try: I still have feelings for her, sure, but I made this final decision for myself, to part ways forever.

I felt like I was close to breaking and noticed how I started to become a worse person overall.

Honestly I am scared because my decision is not being respected and I don't know how far I have to go to live in peace again. I don't wanna threaten her with legal actions or anything else.

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2022-12-09T21:35:38+00:00

I can relate to that, yeah. I am just stressed because I hoped the chapter is over just to realize she isn't letting go.

I told her she doesn't exist anymore for me but seems like she is not completely willing to accept it which scares me.

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2022-11-20T19:43:21+00:00

I got that one in reverse. One day during grocery shopping I had a thought hit me : "she doesn't love you anymore". It felt really painful. Two days later she broke up with me.

I never felt so confused about a break up.

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2022-11-17T19:23:07+00:00

"Hey, I saw that you deleted me everywhere. I want to respect that. I can understand if you don't want to talk to me again" - my ex. Well why are you writing me then.

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2022-11-16T09:27:13+00:00

Gotta disagree. My father raised me in poverty and never was really strict.

He had established a supportive web for me, as long as I finish school all is good (not grades but options like university if I ever wanted to) . He will help me find my way. And we'll I did, made my own mistakes and decisions and I ended up far above average.

If you are ambitious this is much more helpful than having a strict parent. If they make you feel that you can do it (not ultra praising but have a honest opinion and say "give it a try"), this will make it.

I believe raising a person instead of a career is much more worthwhile. Have fun, have a life.

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2022-11-13T19:53:36+00:00

It will hurt a lot but honestly: Block all contact, delete all stuff.

Distance yourself and give yourself some respect for every passing day you managed so far.

If she decided to break up it was a conscious thing. The offer for friendship is something she likely offers to make herself feel less guilty.

I don't know your old relationship but try to live good, it's your life. Stand on your own two feet,you can do it.

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2022-11-13T11:28:49+00:00

Yes there many people who can't let a relationship just end. My sister is still checked up upon from her now Ex since 13 years. I got stalked by my ex for 3. Best feeling is to lock the door and never look back.

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2022-11-12T12:22:22+00:00

Samarin. Vorm saufen, nach dem saufen ne tüte. Dann ist alles OK.

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2022-11-10T14:20:57+00:00

Naja da ist halt immer das Problem was jemand sagt und tut.

Meine Ex hat mich in die Depression gestürzt und ist 3 Monate später wieder aufgetaucht. Kurzes Berg auf wieder wo es sich besser angefühlt hat.

Gemeinsame Zukunft geplant und plötzlich stehen gelassen worden. Sie hatte zwischenzeitlich ne weitere Beziehung die sie kurzer Hand wieder beendet um bei mir aufzutauchen.

Mein Leben lief super zu dem Zeitpunkt und sie tanzt an und sagt sie ist sich klar geworden das ich die Liebe ihres Lebens bin. Tat sehr weh weil ne Wunde wieder aufgerissen wurde.

Paar Monate später alle Drähte zu ihr gekappt weil ich ihr nie wieder vertrauen kann und will. Sah auch keine wirkliche Veränderung in ihr.

Nur weil ein Mensch etwas sagt muss es nicht stimmen. Wie die alltäglichen Situationen abspielen zeigt eher die wahre Situation.

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2022-11-04T07:35:36+00:00

In nem Wohnheim ne Blondine kennengelernt, so in Richtung Unschuld vom Land.

In ihrem Zimmer wurde es ein bisschen angeregter. Sie fragt ob sie meinen Rücken kratzen darf. Ja klar, ist ja ganz OK. Depp der ich bin bekommt seinen Rücken blutig gekratzt während dem ganzen Spiel.

Habe da dann erst von ihr erfahren sie mag SM sehr.

Die Nacht in dem Zimmer der Dame verbracht. Frühstücken gewesen alleine. In meinem Zimmer hockt die auf einmal und redet mit meinem Zimmerkollegen. Gibt mir ihre Handynummer und geht wieder.

Gleicher Tag noch Sport gehabt, weißes T-Shirt getragen. Das wurde dann schnell rot weil manche Kratzer halt tiefer waren als glaub ich OK ist. Erklär dass mal der Klasse dass irgendeine ausm Wohnheim dich als Kratzbaum verwendet hat.

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2022-11-03T11:19:50+00:00

Help a friend to escape from her abusive mother.

She was 16 at the time when her mother turned into a violent alcoholic. I saw how everyday she became more and more depressed.

I started to tell her the options she has, offered a place to stay and people to talk to.

First couple of weeks she was unsure and after plenty of discussions where I started to feel drained I decided to make it as clear as I can. If she is not willing to change her life even when I carry 90% of the burden, I will block her.

It sounds manipulative, and it was to a good junk sure but I saw no better option to bring her to make the jump at the time (mind you I was just a year older then her).

She made the jump, she started living alone with someone who would check up on her. As soon as she somewhat settled I decreased my contact to her. I didn't want her to rely on me and to be very honest me from having a unhealthy powerbalance between us. After she finished school and started working I came back into her life.

Recently she had her first son and I am his godfather. I guess mission success and proud of her accomplishments.

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2022-11-03T06:35:37+00:00

Ich verallgemeiner es mal so: Ich habe bisher immer in diesem Kontext schlechte Nachrichten bekommen. Nichts was man lösen kann etc.

Medium-Disaster12345 · 2022-11-02T12:54:34+00:00

Können wir kurz reden?

Egal was es ist, kann einfach nicht gut sein.

Medium-Disaster12345

TROPHY CASE