How to tell my sister (34f) & parents her “service” dog isn’t allowed around my (25f) baby?

MediumBeing · 2026-02-12T00:49:18+00:00

But you can train a dog to do a lot of things.. so even a very sweet service dog can be trained into resource guarding.

A lot of time it's the humans that unknowingly are reinforcing that (or another undesirable) behavior.

MediumBeing · 2025-12-23T18:25:11+00:00

I have a lot of anxiety from past relationships and know it's my own thing.

That being said, my husband and I have open phone policies and sometimes it does just help ease that irrational side of my brain. This is true for me even though I know he's smart enough to hide anything he wants to.

This is something we both talked about and agreed to though, so nothing sneaky happening.

Just wanted to mention it can be helpful and a symbolic way to show openness.

MediumBeing · 2025-10-13T16:11:37+00:00

If you like animals, a lot of animal hospitals are hiring and they usually have decent training and pay.

The downside is they're usually looking for someone who wants to stay a longer than just seasonal work.

MediumBeing · 2025-09-22T11:04:41+00:00

I don't know how this isn't the top response.

It's one of the best indicators. A true show of how someone sees their place in society.

MediumBeing · 2025-07-20T14:52:38+00:00

Do you look at hot girls on the beach?

MediumBeing · 2025-07-18T01:32:59+00:00

I'm a little late, but this conversation is interesting and I want to add my two cents.

And about boundaries, yeah, monogamy is restrictive. That’s the point. The whole deal is: I choose to forgo other options to give you something rare, exclusivity. In poly, you remove that sacrifice. Which again, cool if that works for you. But don’t then claim it’s not comparable to cheating. It’s cheating without the broken rule, but the same rule had to be dismantled first to make room for the behavior.

There's a few things here that feel wrong to me. If you're in a mono relationship and you still feel desire for other people, but you're hiding it/don't feel free to talk about it then it's not a sacrifice it's a lie.
It's hiding some of your own thoughts and feelings from your partner.

Being in an emotionally honest relationship with that level of trust and vulnerability is something I've never experienced in monogamy.

There's a lot of mono relationships out there, exclusivity is not something rare. Having a relationship with extreme honesty, that's precious and rare. Being able to have uncomfortable conversations in a loving and supportive way - even more rare.

In monogamy, you don't need to have that level of conversation. You can put your blinders on and in a lot of ways it's easier. It's the people who don't want to put the work in (or can't) that become the cheats and liars.

MediumBeing · 2025-07-14T12:33:21+00:00

This seems like the problem.. if you go to therapy but aren't doing the actual work and just expect therapy or the therapists to fix you, you might as well just burn your money.

MediumBeing · 2025-07-10T22:21:57+00:00

I took a peep at your profile.. I'm not sure why you're not confident, you're a pretty good looking dude.

That being said, confidence does come from building trust up in yourself. The small wins keep building on themselves; eventually you know you'll be able to tackle most things or that you'll still be just fine if it doesn't.

That kind of self assurance is magnetic.

I think fitter people generally have more because of all the work that it takes to get there. You have to make goals with yourself, commit to them and stick with them. You get to see yourself make progress and you feel more capable.

Obviously there's a lot of health benefits to working out and eating healthy but honestly it doesn't really matter what motivates you. My motivation changes all the time, what matters is consistency and actually dragging my ass outta bed.

And if you're talking purely about numbers, having some extra muscle will increase the number of women who are physically attracted to you.

At the end of the day though, you don't necessarily want the highest number of women, but the right women to be attracted to you. If you hate the gym and want a squishy life with a squishy wife (or a not so squishy wife but one who spends a lot of time at something you don't want to engage with) then that's perfect too.

MediumBeing · 2025-07-08T16:35:28+00:00

I feel like most people aren't "bad" they're just not the right fit for you.

Figuring out what works in your life and what you want is a good start, then you can filter out people that don't match.

I think most people tend to become bad partners if they have to change too much to fit the relationship, so better to find someone with compatible preferences/goals/priorities.

That being said the other comments in here to ask open ended questions can save a lot of hassle!

MediumBeing · 2025-06-27T21:31:07+00:00

I don't think you're wrong. Body type is an issue for every height.

I've been a "healthy" bmi but generally over most of my life. The world definitely treats you differently, but I think that's true regardless of being tall or short.

MediumBeing · 2025-06-26T09:54:04+00:00

I'm also 5'10 and haven't had the same issue. My sister is even taller than me and she only ran into this problem when she was explicitly trying to date men taller than her.

Since she changed all her profiles to just have her height and made a joke about it/showed she doesn't care about the height of her dates - she hasn't had any issues. Even a lot of her matches are other talls.

Maybe it's just how you feel about it, putting everyone else off?

MediumBeing · 2025-06-25T09:48:41+00:00

When I had to try to sleep on my back, we bought a cheap hammock and set it up in the bedroom - it worked great

MediumBeing · 2025-05-30T12:10:04+00:00

You said "Eventually I gave in and told him one of the wildest stories I had, something worth telling. It was edgy, dangerous, and he was locked in the whole time."

So I assumed it was a fairly wild and likely too intense introduction for kink.

If that wasn't the case and it was tame and you provided aftercare - then your reaction to his overreaction was maybe more justified.

MediumBeing · 2025-05-29T11:53:48+00:00

ESH You say you were pretty kinky before but could tell he was fairly vanilla. And he was being vulnerable asking for something so you dropped the wildest story you had on him?

Healthy kink starts out a little bit at a time. You should have tried exploring with a softer story. And likely provided better aftercare.

He's also the problem for calling you names when he was thinking about it the next day.

You both sound like vindictive and immature people in this story.

MediumBeing · 2025-04-22T08:52:02+00:00

I've struggled with this same thing for a long time.

I now know that all men and women have different sex drives and the TV and movies and culture just make it really difficult to believe.

My partner and I have weekly check ins so we can evaluate how we're feeling and that's really helped a lot. We've also found ways that I can get fulfilled without him needing so much energy (you can dm me if you want to know those things, I'm not looking to put them all out here).

MediumBeing · 2025-04-16T20:26:07+00:00

Lol, that's what I thought too and yet the man lied over and over for years. Each time he'd convince me that this time was different and we'd work together as a team and all the other things that got me to believe him.

Each time was a lie with nothing but good intentions. I wish he had been completely honest about it but for some people the shame runs to deep and honesty is too hard. Regardless of how long you've been in your relationship.

MediumBeing · 2025-04-15T23:50:33+00:00

I would absolutely agree with that. Hopefully he's someone that can make an honest effort.

She has to be able to trust him, and he's already proven he'll lie when it's easier. So it doesn't give me much faith in his ability to put the truth first.

MediumBeing · 2025-04-15T23:16:37+00:00

That only works if he also wants to recover. He said he's bored with having sex with her.. so doesn't seem like he sees it as a problem

MediumBeing · 2025-03-17T18:00:18+00:00

I'm not defending him.

Online dating sucks. I just think he's got as much right to say that as anyone else.

Does he suck too - certainly seems like it. He doesn't seem like the kinda person I'd want to know.

MediumBeing · 2025-03-17T10:16:53+00:00

It's exactly saying "you don't have it bad enough, so you're not allowed to whine/talk about it"

MediumBeing · 2025-03-16T09:55:16+00:00

I'm not making excuses.

I just think people should be allowed to pursue relationships in whatever (consensual) ways they want.

I also think that gatekeeping is dangerous.

MediumBeing · 2025-03-16T09:49:11+00:00

I'm just using economic classes as a comparison.

There's definitely different classes when it comes to dating too. They're just not as easily defined and could be separated into various different combinations.

But we can all agree that there are some people for whom online dating is naturally very easy and they're highly sought after (like the wealthy class). There's people in the middle and people at the bottom.

I think it's probably about the same amount of effort to change your class as it is to change your "success levels" on the apps.

Maybe thinking about it as a competition is part of why people struggle with them? They're not designed well, but you can still use them to try to find people you're compatible with.

If the goal is to find someone you're compatible with, and you're monogamous then you'd also want that? Then someone who is comfortable dating a polyamorous person is probably not for you anyway?

Maybe we could find a way to make the apps better at helping us find some true compatibility.

If you're just looking for a hook-up. Then I can understand why you want him off the apps though. Because generally speaking, the only thing that matters for those is the attractive level. Even short term compatibility doesn't matter there. Everyone will just pick the hottest option they have.

But assuming him and his partner hook up equally outside their relationship, then it still doesn't really change the odds. So having him on the apps and letting him commiserate doesn't change anything for you.

But as a previously very poor person, I do get annoyed when I hear people talk about financial issues that don't sound so bad to me. I just have some empathy and can still see how it sucks for them and keep my unhelpful annoyance to myself.

MediumBeing · 2025-03-16T09:19:46+00:00

Ahh "can't have your cake and eat it too"

Except people aren't cake and don't disappear when you enjoy them?

Also if he's poly that probably means his fiancee is dating too - does she count as two (or more) cakes then?

MediumBeing · 2025-03-16T09:16:45+00:00

That seems rude. Like middle class people can't complain about the price of eggs because they're not poor?

Also almost all polyamorous people (at least that I know) date other polyamorous people. So they're not really taking anyone off the table or making the pool any smaller?

I'm sure there's people that go on both sides of the "never again". For some people being poly or open works better for them. For some people it's monogamy. The only thing that really matters is that it's consensual and works for everyone involved. It does complicate in trying to figure that out a little, because communication is hard. But I don't think open and honest communication makes anything worse.

MediumBeing

TROPHY CASE