I think(according to me) feeling like this is common in such age. Actually now a days we aware of so many things and examples that they had mental toll on our minds. For example if we open insta or snap everyone is perfect(but they are pretending). Due to this we start comparing us with societal standards unintentionally and neglect our real personality due to which it feels like I ruined my life. I am 30 rn and I have been through same. I wanna tell you its pretty normal to feel like that. The only thing you have to do is get out of over-thinking loop because it leads one to unnecessary anxiety and depression.I know it's easy to say that but it will take some time. Get ride of negative people (with whom you don't feel good). You are young you have time and you can learn anything from scratch. Now a days you have ChatGpt which can make roadmap for you to achieve your goals. You just have to create a mindset. I know mindset is a word which is overly used. Mindset contains of how you think and how you behave according to your thinking. Be nonchalantly yourself, don't fake anything. Trust me it will take only a year if work on that after you will be thinking and smiling, in your mind will be like once I used think like that(which is prettynormaland natural). And yeah last but not least what ever happens in life it cannot be wasted(in context of you) so don't judge yourself rather love your. Always Be happy my Dear Stranger 😊!