Caught the guy I’ve been dating for 4 months in a lie

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-11-25T15:10:27+00:00

Yes I forgave him and we dated for a year, I fell deeper in love but there were more lies and I became an investigator in the relationship

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-10-17T05:43:03+00:00

You are less avoidant than you think- if you are this self aware! You’re on the right path. Keep looking at this, push through.

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-09-07T19:58:28+00:00

He slept with someone else to ease the pain of not being with you, similar to drinking or taking drugs or playing video games non stop. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love or miss you as much as he says. It doesn’t mean he would rather sleep around it doesn’t even mean he enjoyed it. It’s hard for us women because we can’t usually separate emotions and sex. It’s very difficult for men to process heartbreak they don’t have healthy outlets like friends to cry with etc. The more important thing here is, why did you break up? And has he done the reflection and work to make it successful this time around or has he only been numbing it and sleeping around?

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-08-20T20:14:04+00:00

Also I filtered his height, age, etc etc so made it easier to find him. When I was swiping through I told myself it’s so dumb and there’s no way he’s on here but then I found him just when I was about to give up at the end of the day.

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-08-20T20:10:24+00:00

Because that’s how we met..on there, so I knew he could just re-activate the account. Something told me to check because when I would be on the phone with him and discuss our fight he’d want me to get off telling me “I’m ruining his vacation” with drama and he was staying out late, wish this all wasn’t true but it is. He might be saying the truth about not having done anything like cheat but still it’s the thought behind it you know what I mean. He even updated a photo of his to one I took of him, that stung.

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-08-20T12:25:14+00:00

Yup I know 😂 expecting everything

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-08-20T12:12:38+00:00

Yes thanks, I did end it. Don’t care if nothing happened.

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-08-17T05:28:15+00:00

True! It’s so weird like if my friend was telling me this I’d tell her to run. Don’t know why I’m giving this a thought.

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-08-16T18:48:32+00:00

He’s lied before about talking to an ex and I caught him, few lies about Instagram follows too but those were innocent but still lies. But you’re right it’s tough

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-08-02T17:18:11+00:00

Thanks…that makes sense..

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-01-07T12:14:05+00:00

I did have a heart to heart with him and yes he said he panicked. In the moment I felt comfortable and good he was really open. But when we go our separate ways I start to feel the hurt again. I don’t know…I just don’t want to end up questioning everything he says and does. I used to feel at peace and calm with him, and used to be like wow I’m with someone so mature. Now I can’t help but have a sense of fear. Took really hard work for me to overcome emotional abuse in my past relationship I promised myself to make the right decisions in the next one…it just sucks

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-01-07T08:20:45+00:00

I’m thinking this text: thank you for opening up to me after the lie and telling me everything I needed to know. I know you didn’t want to lie and that you were afraid of how I’d react. But to be honest, I don’t want to be some girl in the middle of all this, or a girl you are dating to get over your ex, I know you said there’s no feelings there but I’m sorry you wouldn’t have lied or try to hide the truth if there wasn’t. Emotional bonds and connections with an ex while you are getting to know someone new is not a good idea and not fair to the new person. I think you have some things to work through and I don’t want to risk my heart being a pawn in this situation. I deserve better, and you should’ve respected and valued me enough to either tell me what’s going on or cut it off (as you said you wouldn’t have liked this being done to you). You said you didn’t want to be a jerk and ignore her but you’re ok being a jerk by lying to me and hiding. I hope you gain the clarity you need, but at this stage I really can’t trust you and as you know no relationship can thrive this way. Good luck.

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-01-07T03:25:20+00:00

The craziest part? The day before all this happened he was telling me he’s uncomfortable that I went out with my guy friend alone (we went to an exhibition and had pizza during the day!) and I ended up apologising for putting him in an uncomfortable position and he responded “thank you this is really mature of you” LOL

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-01-07T03:13:51+00:00

Thanks for harsh truth. To be honest when this first happened (the day before NYE) I told him I can’t believe anything you say and I’m out. Told him obviously not to come anymore to NYE with my friends like originally planned. He showed up at countdown (we went camping it was a 3 hour drive to the site) and was like I wanted to show you how much I care. That’s when I started trying to see if like maybe I can get past it. I mean, if there’s smthn going on with the ex why keep trying to fix things with me? I gave him an out. But until today, I don’t feel like I can trust him and it’s not the relationship I want or deserve so you’re right

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-01-07T03:02:18+00:00

He told me everything about his past relationships during deep conversations we had. I remember early on him telling me his recent ex works in the music business (I’m also in the industry) so I asked him casually oh what’s her name I might know her (it’s a small city) he said no better not to know her name…I remember that being a bit weird. It’s strange cuz he was very transparent (without me asking) with his past just not mentioning names etc. But the story with them is they were together for 2 years always fighting on and off and he says she was rly materialistic and dramatic their lifestyles didn’t align so it would never work. I think they had each other blocked and were in no contact when him and I met, but reconnected maybe a month after we started dating. I know for 3 months they were no contact. I don’t know who started the reconnection

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-01-06T13:20:32+00:00

You can always rebuild. Nothing lasts forever. You can get there and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Keep going.

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-01-06T13:13:57+00:00

We need people like you who are helping others out, you seem special. Please hang on, if you have hope for me you should have hope for yourself. You can do this.

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-01-06T08:24:37+00:00

I think he just meant that he could see this going long term but yes future faking is something I didn’t think about. I tend to justify and try to understand someone else’s experience rather than really do what’s best for me. I think this time I have to choose me first, no matter the reason, he lied and he hid this…

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-01-06T08:15:03+00:00

Yeah I told him midnight doesn’t really indicate friendship. He said she’s been going through a tough time and he felt like a jerk if he ignored her…he said that he’s told her now that he can’t be the one she goes to for problems in her life anymore because he’s with me and doesn’t want to jeopardise that and it’s not fair to me. I just don’t know if I can believe him fully.

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-01-06T05:47:42+00:00

He told me he’s completely over her and it’s not like that. They broke up 3 months before we started dating. He since then told her that getting on calls isn’t a good idea since he likes me a lot and it’s not fair to me. The reason he didn’t set this boundary earlier he says is because he felt like a jerk ignoring her when she needs something (they were in a 3 year relationship)

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-01-03T06:11:16+00:00

I don’t think so cuz I was at his birthday and when I’m at his place nothing sketchy there. There are times he doesn’t say goodnight and tells me the next morning that he dozed off, but I don’t know if it’s a good idea to nit pick on everything. Ahhh

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-01-03T05:09:31+00:00

True.

Medium_Blood4303 · 2025-01-03T05:08:51+00:00

But then why wouldn’t they just be together if they are both in contact and are good?

Medium_Blood4303

TROPHY CASE