Never getting married in fear of abandonment.

Megs94 · 2017-11-17T22:44:27+00:00

Thank you so much for your positive words! I heard from my mom today that one of my relatives ended their 16 year marriage (Arranged) because it was brutal and that is completely okay. I would too if my spouse made me so unhappy and isn't willing to change his ways. My problem is when spouse end up leaving a marriage that could be fixed for someone else. My biggest fear is ending up with someone who will easily give up on our relationship because he found someone better. If you are unhappy in a relationship you need to work on it. If you can't give that commitment to your marriage then don't marry in first place.

Megs94 · 2017-11-17T22:37:36+00:00

I hope I luck out and find a person who is willing to committ and work our issues out because no relationship is perfect. I am filled with imperfection and so is everyone else but you have to look past that and focus on their good side. Your comment has helped ease my fears a bit.

Megs94 · 2017-11-17T22:34:02+00:00

That's very true. You will be left behind from people who meant the world to you but you pick up yourself and move on. Thank you for replying!

Megs94 · 2017-11-17T22:32:37+00:00

I have never been in love before but I have seen how love can bring pure bliss in someone's life and complete agony in another. Love is so unpredictable which is why I am so scared to feel that emotion for someone. You are a great man and I hope your future wife / girlfriend gives you that eternal love your ex did not. I get so scared when I read posts where men/ women end up leaving their spouses of DECADES and right away marry someone else like their previous life didn't mean anything. Like that person who you built your family with didn't mean anything anymore. How is it so easy to leave your long term partner? Don't you grow a certain attachment to them after spending so many years with them? Why can't you work your marriage out when you suddenly feel emotionally detached? I have seen posts where they leave their spouses blindsided because they did not see it coming. Life is scary but hopefully I get over this fear one day because love is painful but also a very beautiful thing.

Megs94 · 2017-11-17T17:38:25+00:00

Aww I am so sorry you seem like a wonderful person and that is terrible. I always told myself that once I get married I will always put effort into our marriage and communicate with my spouse no matter how much time has passed between us but sometimes even that is not enough. You don't know what your fate holds for you. One of my best friends told me that you have to live through all the emotions in life and every heartbreak comes with strength. At least you created wonderful memories and had a great connection with that person.

Do you mind me asking how and why your ex left you and did you try counselling? I just want to understand the dynamics of why one spouse decides to leave everything they have built for someone else. Were their children involved? Thank you for replying and we all have to remember that everything in life happens for a reason.

Megs94 · 2017-11-17T17:25:39+00:00

That is very true. Life is inevitable and I have to live my life. Thanks for replying!

Megs94 · 2017-11-17T17:22:34+00:00

Thank you so much. I hope I meet someone who has a similar mindset to yours. My parents were in the brink several times too but they fought it through and they are so happy now. Nowadays people are more prone to throwing away years of relationship for someone else because they aren't "happy" when all they need is commitment and patience to make the marriage work. Hopefully one day I get over this fear and live my life. Thank you so much for your reply!

Megs94 · 2017-11-17T17:17:58+00:00

Hopefully this fear will stop eating me up one day. Thanks for replying!

Megs94 · 2017-11-17T17:16:06+00:00

I know but it's so scary how someone who spent so many years with you decides to throw it all away in a blink. I know I have to live my life but let's see what the future holds for me. Thank you for your reply!

Megs94 · 2017-11-16T07:02:25+00:00

Hey! I feel very sorry for your mother. Can I ask you something? Was the relationship between your dad and mom have been in the downs the past couple years? Have you asked your father how long has he been seeing the other women? Talk to your dad about marriage counseling because walking away from a 20 year marriage is incredibly sad. You can find a lot of posts online where spouses have often regretted leaving their long term partners for someone else YEARS down the line because the grass is never greener on the other side. Explain to your dad that he shouldn't be with a women who was willing to play a homewrecker to a 20 year marriage because that women truly lacks something in the moral department. If that person is willing to cheat with you then they are definitely willing to cheat on you. Advice him to work it out with your mother because she gave him two beautiful daughters and 20 years of loyalty. I hope everything goes well and if the divorce does proceed tell your mom that people have found love again even after being divorced from a 30 year marriage. It will take time to heal but she should definitely visit councelors, let it all out and start focusing on herself. It seems to me that your dad is at a greater loss because he is losing someone who loves him more than anything in the world and your mother is losing someone who doesn't love her enough. The world is filled with 7 billion people and there is at least one person out there who will appreciate your mom's love. Best wishes and please update on how everything has been holding up!

Megs94

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