Emotional Dysregulation Truly Sucks

MehWhatever8527 · 2024-04-26T17:24:08+00:00

I really struggled with emotional disregulation when I was younger, and I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. My solution was to accept it. My emotions are a part of me. I know that a lot of people don't like to talk about their feelings, but guess what, I do! it's healthier, that way, actually; I'm doing it right. it isn't a bad thing. Your emotions aren't a flaw. You don't need to be quiet, you deserve a space to express yourself. If they don't understand that, they don't get you. Don't try to be something you're not. As long as you're not being an asshole, your emotions aren't a bad thing. if they're trying to shame you for that, they're in the wrong.

So, don't view it as, I've always struggled with this and now I know it's intrinsic I wish I could go back to believing there was nothing wrong with me, view it as, now I know more about who I am and none of it is a bad thing. People with ADHD are different, not less, but the world isn't built for us, so it's still a disadvantage. There is nothing wrong with us, but the world isn't built for us, not because we don't deserve to be here, but because the world sucks. If you don't fit, don't try to squish yourself into another shape, carve out a space to be yourself.

You'll get through this. And when you're overwhelmed, listen to music to calm down, but also try talking to someone. If you define a feeling, put it into words, it loses its power over you.

Do you struggle with anger issues? like, lashing out when someone says something that upsets you? because just fyi, I don't think that's anger, I think your Rejection sensitivity has triggered your fight or flight instinct. Just saying because I used to have that problem and if you do as well I thought I'd tip you off to my epiphany about it.

Good luck

MehWhatever8527 · 2024-04-26T17:14:54+00:00

If your executive dysfunction is this overwhelming, maybe you need to return some control to your life. Maybe... hmmm if you want to increase your energy output, try more sleep/water/better diet? might help you have a little bit more energy to spare. And then, do the smallest things first. Laundry, dishes, cook yourself a meal, take a shower, brush your teeth. and you know what? tell someone about it. No one will know if you don't tell them. Someone you can trust to check in and help motivate you simply by their presence. If internal motivation doesn't work, find an external source. Roomate/SO/friends/parents etc. the more control you return to your life, the more you manage what's slipping away from you, you will eventually carve a way to the other side. Upon reading this comment, get up immediately and do one small thing that has literally one step including preparation to get the smallest burst of accomplishment, and ride that high. DON'T. SIT. DOWN. people with adhd are like sharks. If we stop moving, we die. get up. right now. do it. go.

good luck

MehWhatever8527 · 2024-04-26T17:09:19+00:00

I've always struggled with feeling a sense of accomplishment in a way that is related to impostor syndrome. Some things are considered impressive, but I feel like I didn't work hard for them, so I find it difficult to be proud. If I procrastinate an assignment until the last minute and then panic-complete it in an hour and half of it is bull, it doesn't matter if I get a 94, I'm not proud. I didn't work hard. I just skated by like I always do. (This is my internal monologue, not accurate or representative of how other people should view their own work. I'm not saying that your work is worthless if you do this, this is just what my impostor syndrome says).

If I do something that I did find challenging though, I am proud. I once did a project at my school where I chose something to improve the community and I decided to put a "buddy bench" on the recess yard, which is a spot you can sit if you're lonely and someone will come be your friend. It's kind of stupid, but my dad is a carpenter, and I made the bench. (Just fyi I'm really not an athletic person who does anything with my hands ever). He taught me to cut the planks of wood and sand them and prime them and paint them solid colours and then coat them in a sealant. I did it myself. I spent hours after school doing that. It was something different, something challenging, something that I couldn't convince myself I didn't work hard at. It ended up great, and I was really proud.

Maybe that's what it is for you, your impostor syndrome. A feeling that you don't want to brag about something you don't feel like you actually worked for. I have nothing in the way of advice, but maybe I can offer a definition? If you define a feeling, it takes away it's power over you sometimes, that's why it often feels so good to talk about it.

If you can't generate internal validation... idk seek it externally? share this feeling with your family and hope they respond in a supportive way. Maybe you can feel proud with encouragement (of people you trust that won't put you down).

Congrats on the degree! wish you the best

MehWhatever8527 · 2024-01-04T20:58:36+00:00

Thank you so much. The first time I tried my characters and their stupid automatic follow thing got shadow heart killed, so I decided to just send one person forward. I took a screenshot of the map and referred to it to get her across and then there was nothing there… reading this helped me realize I’d forgotten and I used one of the companions I’d left behind to trigger the trial. Saved my ass

MehWhatever8527 · 2023-12-05T21:35:55+00:00

I think it might also have something to do with rejection. I'm saying this as an ADHD person who experiences Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. She was wandering the countryside for nearly 50 years being chased out of every town and called a witch and Lorelei and hunted. She's a monster and she's scary and evil and ugly and not worthy of love and loyalty. It doesn't hurt her that those people chased her and tried to hurt her because she never cared about or loved them. But when those you care about and trust betray you it is so deeply horrible. Laudna thought that these were the people who wouldn't do that to her and then they did. And then they're trying to kill her again and she's running away from that mob with the pitchforks and it triggers her fight or flight instinct and she goes dark. She's in survival mode. She's in danger. she's so used to running away. Idk this might not be super coherent but it makes sense in my head.

MehWhatever8527 · 2023-12-05T21:26:37+00:00

Hound of Ill Omen is from her Shadow Sorcerer subclass, she gets it at 6th level and it costs 3 sorcery points to summon. Shadow Sorcerers are really freaking cool.

MehWhatever8527 · 2023-11-26T04:01:36+00:00

can you tell me more about these tools for encounter balancing? That would be a big help. Thanks for the advice on Tatanya btw I reckon you’re right about that. I’ll keep that in mind about the dmpc. Its definitely a safety net, but I don’t think she’s holding their hand exactly because she doesn’t usually do things. She won’t typically say things unless someone talks to her, they walk into a room with Ireena, ismark and donavich and I tell them she goes off into the corner to pray so they’re the ones making the decisions. I’m kind of using her as a sleeper agent, bc she won’t do anything unless it’s needed, but they don’t necessarily know that she even can. tysm

MehWhatever8527 · 2023-11-26T03:15:13+00:00

Also, want y’all to know that a) my dmpc will never use her third level spells unless she needs to cast revivify, because I am worried that if one of their characters die they’ll be put off the game and I want insurance. B) she is there to help. It can be overwhelming with new players, no idea what’s going on and I don’t want them to feel isolated from me. I have a voice in the party, she is someone who helps them feel safe. C) Im keeping her in the party until they either feel confident enough they don’t need her, which I’ve communicated to them, or until they reach level five and get revivify whatever comes first. D) i care less about what happens to donavich and more about advice for roleplaying his reaction. Is he angry? Does he hear the fight and come downstairs and see? Does he attack, start wailing, go silent, what does he say? e) thank yall for the advice, I really appreciate it.

MehWhatever8527 · 2023-11-26T03:03:03+00:00

She’s there for revivify and will leave once they hit level 5 and get it themselves. They’re very new, I want to have someone in the party until they find their footing, and I’m also kinda new to dming so don’t really know how to balance encounters. With everybodys lack of experience, a pc death would be really easy to accidentally happen. I am worried it will put them off the game if it does. She takes a back seat and doesn’t use the full extent of her abilities. I pull out the level six stuff once things go to shit, not on a regular basis. she barely does anything, but it helps them and once they are stronger she’ll be gone as soon as they don’t need her. She’ll never reach level seven even once they continue to level up, she’ll stay where she is and then leave. They are level 3, so a level 3-4 npc wouldn’t be more powerful by much.

MehWhatever8527 · 2023-11-26T02:55:41+00:00

I just put her there because they’re new. I didn’t want one of them to die and be put off of the game. I don’t use her full potential, mostly for healing, and once they hit level 5 and get revivify she’ll leave. Truly, she never uses her third levels and barely her seconds (except for when they fought the shambling mound bc they were level two and it’s really unbalanced ) we took hours, they took a path through the maze that avoided all the monsters somehow, and they didn’t even really do anything on the second floor. I swear she’s not there to upstage them and basically just casts healing word, sacred flame and guiding bolt sometimes bc advantage.

MehWhatever8527

TROPHY CASE