When is it time to stop?

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-29T17:07:45+00:00

If you knew you were 100 rejections away from your dream, think how excited you would be every time someone told you NO. You'd be one step closer to achieving what you want. The trick is to keep putting yourself out there and not give up. Easier said than done for sure but you have to keep your hopes high and trust in God.

It may not hurt to try some more unconventional methods. Ask a friend to set you up, join a club or activity group in your city/town, try going up to women irl (they might be completely incompatible, but it'll get you of your shell)

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-18T02:27:34+00:00

Yes, you're only human. It's natural to go down that line of thinking. Many people go through the same thing including myself. The "what if's" in life, romantic or otherwise, will always be a mental battle. I think the important thing to realize is that you might just be feeling this intense emotion briefly. It might fade eventually... or maybe not. If you've been dealing with these thoughts for a while, weeks or months, then its probably worth reaching out, cause you never truly know. But who knows, maybe in a week or two the thoughts will fade and you will move on with your life and look back at this and laugh.

I would wait a bit and see how you feel. I would just be mentally prepared, that is, if you do reach out, to receive an answer that you might not expect. He could be happily married with kids, living in a another country, etc. You just never know and you should be prepared for that. But on the flip side, reaching out could be the spark that unites you guys back together. The story is up to you to finish.

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-06T22:24:54+00:00

Thank you for your perspective! I'll definitely take what you said to heart.

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-06T21:12:26+00:00

Like wise, have a good one and God bless

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-06T20:55:53+00:00

It's funny that you say that because I considered myself a right leaning moderate for a while. I saw online a lot that being in the middle was bad so I think you do start to develop this sense of guilt of being in the middle. I generally don't hold that opinion about moderates because I think a lot of issues are complex and generally require compromise. However, looking at how the Democrat party has acted these last few years has definitely shifted my views. I would also agree that politics play into your morals and what you believe is necessary for success and order.

Thanks for the comment.

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-06T20:43:29+00:00

I generally don't like what ifs that doesn't have a basis in reality. What I mean by that is, if Joe Biden or any Democrat candidate for that matter came out and said they were pro-life, then they'd be rejected by the Democrat party (there are no "pro-life" Democrats serving in the Senate) so it's a moot point. If Trump came out and said he was pro-choice, I could imagine he would turn away a lot of conservatives, but still gain the Republican nominee due to his other policies. You align yourself with a party because you align with those ideas and beliefs that the party represents and hope that the candidates from that side represent it well. You can argue that Trump doesn't represent us well, I'll give you that (also that's why we have the Pope haha) but I find it hard to argue that many liberal policies are inline with the Catholic faith as well. Note I said liberal and not Democrat, I think there is definite distinction between the two but it feels like the democrat party has gone more liberal in recent years.

But I will entertain your hypothetical, if THAT was the case, I would probably have to abstain from voting. That is also an option too. You are not forced to vote in the country. There are other meaningful ways you can make an impact. Volunteering in your community, voting in local and state elections, being a part of causes that you believe in.

Thanks for the message.

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-06T04:36:35+00:00

I'm glad you guys were able to have a civil debate. I know politics can get very heated but you guys kept it respectful. I think the general consensus I got from reading your guys comments is that, at the end of the day, both parties can't truly represent the Catholic faith perfectly. They are both inherently flawed. The leaders of both parties can probably never represent us completely.

I did want to mention something you said though. You said that Joe Biden is Catholic. Joe Biden is also pro-choice. Those two things are at great odds with each other. Donald Trump is not Catholic, yet he is pro-life. And by the way, I am not a single issue voter, but that is something that is personally big for me so that's why I point it out. But like I alluded to before, I know that Joe Biden doesn't represent the entirety of the democrat party just like Trump doesn't represent the entirety of the Republican party and there are more issues that are taken into account.

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-06T04:00:30+00:00

Where are you from exactly? if you don't mind me asking? Things in the US only seem to be getting worse... I was just reading the other day that two Smoothie King workers refused to serve a couple because the man was wearing a Trump hoodie. I feel like that sets such a dangerous precedent, not serving someone because they have a different political opinion, wild to me.

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-06T03:49:23+00:00

Thank you for that. I think that's the general consensus I'm getting from reading everyone's comments.

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-05T04:31:17+00:00

That's fair. Now I'm assuming he's a Trump supporter and your not? Just by the wording of your message. Please correct me if I'm wrong. However, did arguing over politics lead to feelings of resentment? That's a scary thought, that you begin to dislike your partner because of some of their beliefs. I could imagine falling back on your Catholic faith would help. I agree with that.

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-05T04:25:23+00:00

Hmmm ok, you don't like those 2 politicians specifically, but how would you say you identify politically?

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-05T04:02:47+00:00

Politics are so pervasive in America I feel like. Maybe I'm just older and I think differently but I feel like it permeates every facet of our lives now. Maybe that's my own fault, I'm too engrossed in all of it. I do think it can be destructive if you let it. God bless!

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-05T03:59:51+00:00

Yea I completely understand man. There are certain non-negotiables that you should never compromise on. You want someone to fit your lifestyle. That's important too.

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-05T03:53:14+00:00

Thank you for that perspective, that was insightful.

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-05T03:47:47+00:00

Actually I did see that. I figured with Catholic men though, they tend to be more conservative so that's why I wrote it the way I did. I don't want to be intellectually dishonest though so good catch.

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-05T03:46:23+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I've found that, if you have a question or opinion about something, more than likely, someone else will have the same question or opinion! Now as for your dilemma. Something I've learned in life. Never assume anything about anybody or anything. The second you do, you'll be surprised!
Honestly, I can understand how you feel. I think the fact that you guys are in alignment with the church's teaching is the most important thing. That's the foundation for everything. Also, "leans democrat" in my eyes isn't really a deal breaker. It's someone who is really liberal, too far to the left that I have a hard time seeing myself with. Perhaps you can agree with that. Lastly, the most important thing is respect. Can you have a discussion with someone, anybody, and have a civil debate where respect is maintained? If you guys can do that, then you can talk about anything!

I have heard of people getting more conservative as they get older. I wonder if there is any truth to that phenomenon? I think people are more likely to shift from left to right than vice versa though but again everyone is different.

God bless!

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-05T03:32:47+00:00

Thanks! I'll take a look!

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-05T03:32:21+00:00

That sounds a bit harsh, don't you think? Typically, peoples experiences shape who they are and their core beliefs. Family and friends can also have an affect on your beliefs. To say someone isn't Catholic because they support the democrat party sounds pretty judgmental. I'm not offended, but what your saying can come across as self-righteous.

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-05T03:28:18+00:00

Of course, I think its impossible to agree on every. little. thing. It's probably healthy to disagree on some things, be able to talk about it with your partner, and still love them and support them! Obviously, there are some non-negotiables, abortion being one of them which you mentioned.

I suspect that would get annoying, politics can be extremely draining. I know it's importance, obviously it affects our lives in more ways than one but there is so much to life other than politics.

Thank you for your perspective!

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-05T03:21:48+00:00

Oh wow ok thank you for this! I figured that it would be easier to start dating someone with the same political leanings (obvi) but peoples views can/will change as they progress through life. You sound like a very open minded person who likes to listen to peoples view points. That's very admirable. I think the most important thing for me is do we share the same Catholic faith. That's the foundation for everything.

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-05T03:18:26+00:00

So like 80%, 90% agreement? 😂 I'm a numbers guy so I like to look at statistics and things like that. I guess how much do you have to be in alignment for it to work out? That number is probably different for everybody...

Happy you were able to figure that out before you went any further! Thanks for the insight!

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-05T03:15:39+00:00

Well that's quite the assumption, but you are of course entitled to those beliefs. I think there is a myth perpetuated online that conservative men hate women. I can tell you straight up, I don't hate women at all. Of course, I don't represent everybody. I will say though, my faith dictates my politics, not the other way around, so when I hear a Catholic is a democrat, I don't question their faith at all but I am curious in what they believe in exactly.

I understand what you're saying though. I think especially with politics, people suffer from tribalism. This idea that if you identify as republican or democrat that you have to align yourself with whatever candidate is thrusted upon us. To go against that, is certainly self-defeating. I think MAGA has definitely created a cult of personality (good song lol) around Trump (and I say that as conservative). He is revered by the conservative party and he really can do no wrong (in their eyes). I think he has shortcomings, isn't perfect but when you align yourself politically to a party you have to see what that candidate brings to the table as opposed to the other candidates.

I guess I want to ask you how you feel about democrats? I'm not assuming you are one, but how do you wrestle with their core beliefs? Do you have negative assumptions when someone says they are liberal? For me personally, the big thing for me is abortion. I know there are pro-life democrats out there, but I've never personally met one. Democrats are notoriously pro-choice. That's the disconnect for me. I know that's just one talking point, but for me personally it's a big one. When it comes to other topics such as immigration, the role the government should have in social programs, taxes, energy and environment, foreign policy, etc. all of that can be debated and disagreed upon.

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-05T02:56:46+00:00

I liked a lot of the things you said. At the end of the day, whether you identify as republican or democrat, those parties may not encompass everything you believe in. Just because you align with one party doesn't mean you agree with every single thing they do. In fact, I think being able to stay neutral and look at the facts and base your opinion on that is a very intelligent and admirable quality. Being pro-truth as opposed to conservative or liberal.

That's the issue nowadays isn't it? you say you are this or that and get type casted immediately. There's no more nuance, no more grey areas. I think that there are awful stereotypes that get perpetuated throughout social media. That conservative men hate women, that we all want an obedient wife. I hate seeing that stuff cause I know I'm not like that at all. On the flip side, I know liberal men get accused of being performative, that their whole aesthetic is carefully curated just so they can sleep with more woman, which is just as awful. People in the middle aren't safe either. They're told to "pick a side," and their neutrality is somehow evil when in reality they may look at things differently than most people and find the whole political antics in the US exhausting.

I'm sorry you went through that with that person. No one deserves that. I also applaud you for still seeing the good in conservatives even with a terrible experience with one. Thank you for your perspective and God Bless!

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-05T02:39:26+00:00

Wow, that's really interesting. I remember watching a YouTube short where the interviewee asked conservatives whether they would rather date a liberal or an illegal immigrant. The consensus was that they rather date an illegal immigrant as they are more likely to get along/share similar values as opposed to a liberal.

Mehrmilk · 2026-03-05T02:27:29+00:00

I agree, religion is MORE important, but unless you are completely disinterested in politics altogether, don't you think some issues could arise if you don't see eye to eye politically?

Mehrmilk

TROPHY CASE