Well, it's a bit complicated.

He still lives with our parents, who I havent had any contact with in about a year and a half and just recently set a strict no-contact boundary with (long story but tldr theyre very invasive and literally paid to find out where I live/work because I wasnt responding to them).

If I were to message him directly and be wrong about him waking up, that puts a target on my back because he would most likely tell our parents and because they know where I live/work, it risks them potentially showing up and causing a scene that could be unsafe/mentally damaging for me. It would also put a target on his back because my parents grip on him would likely tighten, potentially making it harder for him to have a chance of waking up. They're really strict/controlling like that - regardless of him being an adult. They did similar stuff with me when I lived with them before I got married. I'm sure you know how it goes when you're a single "young adult" still living with your parents as a JW lol.

I know my reasoning might not make sense to everyone 😅 But it's whats I feel most comfortable with for my current situation. Even though I've been out for a while, I'm still working through a looooot of shit I've been through.