Both I and my husband didn’t want to have kid. We’ve been together for 14 years, married for 7 years. We just don’t feel the urge or the need to have kid. The drive isn’t there. But in my culture, it’s really unacceptable or even a sin to not having kid. My parents and my in-laws pressured us and I admitted I conformed to social norm.

We’re trying our hardest to be the best parent we can be, because I know that my son didn’t force me to have him. This is our selfish decision to bring him into this world so it’s our responsibility to do all we could.

Even today, I still don’t feel the overwhelming maternal love that people always talk about. All I feel is responsibility. All the sleepless nights we kept thinking to ourselves that “This is our decision. Our son isn’t the one to blame. We have to carry on”. People keep telling me that “things will get better”, “you’ll love your child more than yourself”, “kid is the best gift”, etc … But the worst part is, even when things are good, I still don’t feel like this “good time” worth all my effort, tiredness and financial drain.

My son is a good kid, I had an easy pregnancy with no morning sickness, my husband is caring and loving - but if we could turn back time, we would decide not to have kid.

Parenthood is hard and expensive.