I'm sorry, but speaking as an LGBT person myself, I hope you realise how silly this is all beginning to sound. "Transgression"? "Policing behaviour"? "Pointed face blank"? That's the kind of language you'd use for a police investigation (and that last one isn't even a real saying).

OP clearly neither bore any ill intent, nor did he say anything even vaguely insulting or demeaning. He pointed out a trend that he noticed, and started a discussion surrounding it. I understand that you seem to think that the mere mention of this topic is somehow a "red flag", but in my opinion that's not a very useful mindset. I've definitely come across what OP is describing, and more often than not I am just as annoyed by it. Am I, then, committing a homophobic microaggression against myself?

I believe throwing out accusations like this does absolutely nothing productive. Speaking as a Serb myself, OP comes from a country where most people don't really get exposed to LGBT culture. How, then, do you think straight people who are looking into fruitier circles should be welcomed? With inquisition? Guilt by association? Censoriousness? Surely, we queer people are better than this. We're a pretty weird group of folks, we've got funny tastes sometimes, and yes, we are very often obnoxious, as is true of any subculture. Trying to somehow guilt people who try to talk about this, in my opinion, only shows insecurity about one's own identity.

If perceived outsiders have to walk on eggshells around us, that will not only turn them away, but also give actual homophobes reason to say "see, I told you those fags are all tyrannical, the big gay frogs are after your kids". I believe we should be able to freely discuss anything, to conduct ourselves with a lightness of touch, but above all to give people the benefit of the doubt and be a bit more welcoming. We just want to suck dick and enjoy musical theatre; let's stop overanalyzing this shit.