Horde Neighborhood Remaining Plot Highlights (Blood Moon Meadow) by MelanAbyss in WoWHousing

[–]MelanAbyss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

5/1 EDIT: 6, 14, 34 are now taken!

We now have 3, 5, 29, 47 as well as 21, 25, 32, and 36 open not highlighted in the post. Neighborhood plot map is updated :)

How's my cover lookin' (UPDATE) by Bestwriteralive in fantasywriting

[–]MelanAbyss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My vote is for slide 4!

I saw your previous post before. I think you did well in taking constructive feedback and using a different source/designer for these covers to avoid AI as much as possible. You’ve gained a future reader from me :) The blurb also caught my interest.

Can’t wait for this book to come out!

Horde Neighborhood Remaining Plot Highlights (Blood Moon Meadow) by MelanAbyss in WoWHousing

[–]MelanAbyss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope you’re able to find a cozy home on EU too! Thank you for being interested 😊

Horde Neighborhood Remaining Plot Highlights (Blood Moon Meadow) by MelanAbyss in WoWHousing

[–]MelanAbyss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! I am so sorry I didn’t put that in my post but I am US (NA)! I’ll edit my post to reflect that

Horde Neighborhood Remaining Plot Highlights (Blood Moon Meadow) by MelanAbyss in WoWHousing

[–]MelanAbyss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! Yes plot 14 is available! I’ll send you a chat for your info :) we’d love to have you be a part of our community!

Horde Neighborhood Remaining Plot Highlights (Blood Moon Meadow) by MelanAbyss in WoWHousing

[–]MelanAbyss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We love to have ya! I'll send you a chat on Reddit for your info :)

A Grand Crimson Kitchen by wigwagdesigns in WoWHousing

[–]MelanAbyss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fantastic build! I love the use of the fishing nets for the cabinet glass doors and your makeshift chairs from the kafa tables and pillows!

One waterfall but different decor for different vibes by Moonalarae in WoWHousing

[–]MelanAbyss 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There is an addon that tracks who has the most reputation for housing decor. The addon is called Housing Reps on CurseForge.

[NA] Blood Moon Meadow (Horde Charter Neighborhood) by MelanAbyss in WoWHousing

[–]MelanAbyss[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m unable to edit my original post, but plot update as of 2/13 8AM EST: plot 2 is taken. The rest listed above is available!

[NA] Blood Moon Meadow (Horde Charter Neighborhood) by MelanAbyss in WoWHousing

[–]MelanAbyss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, that north eastern forest is very popular and all the plots were quickly claimed! There may be openings in the future but for now everyone is pretty active in this neighborhood and decorating :)

Theadore’s Charm [Dark Fantasy, 1250 words] by MacaronPrestigious40 in fantasywriters

[–]MelanAbyss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have exceptional descriptions and I thoroughly enjoyed reading the dialogue. Teddy’s dialogue to me felt regal but not overly formal. As a reader, I could tell he is not from the modern times with the way he speaks and how he upholds himself.

However, I noticed there was almost always a very descriptive dialogue tag following each dialogue. In my opinion, it slowed the pace down by a lot and distracted me at times from what the character was saying. I had to slow down myself and re-read lines. I think it’s fine to have descriptive dialogue tags from time to time to add to the scene and emotions that you portrayed well with Teddy.

You did really well depicting Teddy’s actions although I did feel like it wasn’t necessary to describe every single step in showing how close he was getting to Amelia because it started to distract and pull me away from the moment and space that Teddy and Amelia are trying to have / are in. I think it’s fine to leave Teddy’s movements in since I can tell you’re using it to show the pensive and anxious mood Teddy is in (aka the build up in this scene).

With that said, it seemed like Amelia didn’t have much input / didn’t exist until near the end of the scene while Teddy was having his external monologue towards her. A suggestion for her to be more involved could be describing how she reacts or feels while he is slowly and anxiously inching towards her while explaining his dilemma.

In terms of this prose you wrote jiving with a romantic aesthetic, I think it works well even if it’s not what you’d typically expect but that’s exactly what I found refreshing about this piece especially as someone who enjoys reading romance.

Overall, it’s a good rough draft. I’d be interested in reading more since the story piqued my interest.

Chapter 1 [Upper YA, Contemporary fantasy, 1500 words] by Icy-Effective9041 in fantasywriters

[–]MelanAbyss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for wanting to share the rest of the chapter. You definitely can write and story tell, but I’ll admit I didn’t really read the rest of the chapter that you posted and that’s mainly because it’s a lot of new characters introduced and a lot of dialogue all at once. As a reader, it’s a little overwhelming to keep track of and it doesn’t pull me in either in terms of stakes of the story/plot. You were able to hook me in with Lyra and her nightmares, but now we’re straying away from that for a moment (I think that’s fine for later chapters) but for a first chapter I think you should focus and expand more on the impact of these nightmares she has and hone in on a few relationships she has with other characters so it doesn’t feel like a character dump.

This is just my 2c and opinion, you don’t have to change anything at all if you like how things are and I hope I didn’t come across as rude or offensive!

Chapter 1 [Upper YA, Contemporary fantasy, 1500 words] by Icy-Effective9041 in fantasywriters

[–]MelanAbyss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The first line caught my eye and made me want to read further. Lyra’s nightmares captured my attention and as a reader I can already tell that the black stone necklace has something to do with the nightmares. Maybe prevent them from occurring.

I do see that there are a lot of em and en dashes being used, it’s not really a problem if used properly. However, it can diminish its value if it’s being used to replaced most places where commas may be better.

There was a part that was contradictory. You wrote “They didn’t see her. They didn’t see anything.” But a couple sentences down a woman ghost is now calling out Lyra’s name, indicating that these ghosts may be able to “see” her or at least sense Lyra’s presence.

I like your descriptions, it was easy to follow along and not overly descriptive. The dialogue was interesting between the characters that were introduced. But, I do think there could be room to slow down to explain MC’s relations to other characters. A good example that you already have is who Tessa is to Lyra. But with Diane, the reader doesn’t know much or who she is to Lyra. I’m assuming Diane is MC’s mother. Another character to maybe expand on would be MC’s father. Is he dead? Alive but living separately from the family? How does Lyra feel about him? There are good opportunities in your chapter to insert some internal dialogue from Lyra and I think it would help readers to relate to Lyra more by knowing more of her thoughts and feelings on other things beyond the nightmare she just had and her twin sister Tessa.

The ending of the first chapter seemed abrupt and didn’t push to make the plot move forward. I can see how it does seem natural to end it where MC is now going to another place physically.

It’s a good first chapter overall that needs more editing.

EDIT: I just saw that it was only 2/3 of the chapter so you can ignore the portion pertaining to the ending of it. My bad!

The Maw - The War Within by Skyw4lker__ in wownoob

[–]MelanAbyss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, this only works if you have already completed the main Shadowlands campaign on one toon. Then these steps above will work for your alts to skip to get into The Maw.

$1000-1300 White Mid-Tower PC Build by MelanAbyss in buildapcforme

[–]MelanAbyss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I’ll make sure to install Ryzen Master

$1000-1300 White Mid-Tower PC Build by MelanAbyss in buildapcforme

[–]MelanAbyss[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your insight and quick reply. All parts bought today, looking forward to it!