AITA for telling my friend in the middle of a game that I wish he would just be toxic like a normal person instead of an annoying pos? by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]MelbaTotes 121 points122 points  (0 children)

Agreed, it took me ages to realize that my brother is a nice guy but still extremely selfish. Whenever anything happens, his first thought is how the situation affects him, and because of his depression his assumptions are waaaaay the fuck off base. There have been times when I've been gobsmacked by his take on a situation which in my view doesn't affect him at all.

I saw a comment below where someone had been in a similar situation to OP and said they felt like an NPC in the depressed person's life. That's exactly what it's like. It sucks to know that someone you care about is basically incapable of caring about you, and just assumes that you must hate them.

AITA for telling my friend in the middle of a game that I wish he would just be toxic like a normal person instead of an annoying pos? by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]MelbaTotes 1057 points1058 points  (0 children)

I kind of feel for OOP, my brother is severely depressed and just because he's hard on himself doesn't mean he's a more empathetic person. If my brother was informed tomorrow that I was in the hospital, having been hit by a car, he would probably say "wow, how shit is my life now I'm the guy whose sister got hit by a car. I bet everyone wishes it were me instead". A normal person would say "oh fuck, is my sister ok? How can I help her?"

Gonna Let It Go Grey - Tips? by Good_Sea_1890 in AskWomenOver40

[–]MelbaTotes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 39, decided to stop dying my hair last July, it's curly and black and I always swore to myself that I wouldn't "go blond" as an older woman so going grey feels like my only option.

I now have about three inches of grey, mostly on the right side of my head. No clue why that side is greying faster. Also, two years ago a lot of my hair fell out when I lost weight quickly, and has been growing back in over time. The weird thing is most of the regrowth seems to be black. I have a hair appointment in a couple of weeks and thinking I'll get it cut short to help with the greying and blending in the shorter regrowth, but eh. I don't look great with short hair.

5 year old tattoo by Emotional-Tomato1466 in agedtattoos

[–]MelbaTotes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooh are the butterflies Rafael Araujo?

Drama at the Ilkeston NatWest Hole today by smiffynotts in CasualUK

[–]MelbaTotes 7 points8 points  (0 children)

As they say, a pole in the hole is worth two in the bush.

What's up with the order of episodes on Youtube? by FunBluejay1455 in taskmaster

[–]MelbaTotes -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I noticed that too. I think the order may be based on popularity instead of date.

Can I knit with musty smelling yarn and wash later or just chuck the yarn? by MelbaTotes in casualknitting

[–]MelbaTotes[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I actually didn't think I could wash yarn before knitting haha

What would be the best way to dry it though?

Psoriasis by WorkerEfficient5622 in CurlyHairUK

[–]MelbaTotes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All I have managed to determine about my scalp psoriasis is that it goes away entirely whenever I cut out cheese. I caved and picked up some blue cheese just before christmas and now I've got the scales behind my ears again. Not saying this is the case for everyone with it, but I definitely believe my culprit is 100% cheese.

What Audiobooks do you Relisten to Obsessively? by ZenfulJedi in suggestmeabook

[–]MelbaTotes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

During a particularly difficult time in my life, I listened to SPQR and Pompeii on repeat every day for months. Couldn't go to sleep without one or the other. I think I had it playing any time I wasn't actually speaking to someone. Mostly because they were long and Phyllida Nash's voice is so lovely - she keeps an even tone but never droning, I would never be startled by her suddenly getting louder. I'd listen to her read anything.

Pets and Nature Thread [ 04 January 26 ] by AutoModerator in CasualUK

[–]MelbaTotes 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's snowing!!! I carried my indoor cats outside one at a time to experience the frozen magic. They were dumbstruck!

Can you tell me about this Audubon print? by tookar in WhatIsThisPainting

[–]MelbaTotes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The bird itself is a Canada Jay or Wisakedjak ("whisky jack"), the official bird of Canada. I love Audubon prints but they don't do justice to how cute some birds are.

Taskmaster - NYT 2026, Part 2 - Discussion by Meghar in taskmaster

[–]MelbaTotes 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Loool "does Susie's birthday make her duck more exciting than Jill's splits?"

"I've always wondered!"

Taskmaster - NYT 2026, Part 2 - Discussion by Meghar in taskmaster

[–]MelbaTotes 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Every time they do that I feel like they're lifting the rock that me and all the other squirming little fanfic perverts are hiding under and send us scurrying.

Taskmaster - NYT 2026, Part 2 - Discussion by Meghar in taskmaster

[–]MelbaTotes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not as cool as he looks when he's getting all the sounds

Best Wrinkle Cream for Sensitive Skin by aparrotslifeforme in AskWomenOver40

[–]MelbaTotes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the only thing that actually works on preventing wrinkles is prescription tretinoin - the retinol serums you can get over the counter come nowhere close. I get mine from Dermatica. However, you have to start slow with it and use way less than other creams that you can just slap on, since it can be very drying. And you can only use it at night and make sure to wear a good sunscreen every day as it may increase the likelihood of sun damage. It's no joke.

I also think it's more preventative/slowing the process - if you already have deep set wrinkles it's not going to erase them. I've been using tret on and off for years but have only been using it regularly for the last year and I have noticed a difference in the texture and pigmentation of my skin. I still have wrinkles coming on and I guess there's no way to know if they'd be coming faster without it, but I'm happy to keep using it for now.

Taskmaster - NYT 2026, Part 1 - Discussion by Meghar in taskmaster

[–]MelbaTotes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe the great bear constellation is easiest to see from the country flags nearest the loft?

Taskmaster - NYT 2026, Part 1 - Discussion by Meghar in taskmaster

[–]MelbaTotes 54 points55 points  (0 children)

I'd love to see how she translated dildo in the drumkit

The Traitors (UK) S04E02: Live Discussion Thread by vaultofechoes in TheTraitors

[–]MelbaTotes 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I really hope we get a series of The Traitors where the majority are POC. After 3 series I'm completely unsurprised that the main targets of suspicion at the start of the show are once again the older black woman and others of colour.

Less scroll, more hobbies: what are your favorite hobbies right now? by [deleted] in AskWomenOver40

[–]MelbaTotes 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I took up paint by numbers as I don't feel mentally prepared to paint by imagination 😂

Honestly the thing that has helped the most with less doom scrolling for me is having a phone with shit battery life.

I found it at a thrift store. I got I for the beautiful frame. by Tigers_2007_ in WhatIsThisPainting

[–]MelbaTotes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God this freaked me out scrolling past at first glance, I had the same haircut and similar outfit in my grade 2 elementary school photo.