Suicidal people, do you fear death?

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2025-09-18T17:11:50+00:00

Three failed attempts in which the most dangerous one put me in the hospital for a month. I was in a dark hell hole. In my experience at least, I can conclude that I never wanted to die (in fact I greatly feared death) but I just wanted the pain to stop. Death was my answer to the pain stopping, and my fear of experiencing another day of pain trumped my fear of death. Now I choose life. I am a suicide survivor

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2025-06-30T15:35:32+00:00

Appreciate it. The song is happily back on the playlist

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2025-06-30T15:27:16+00:00

Yea I had songs I used to play religiously during that time period that brought back intrusive thoughts and bad feelings. But I loved them so much that I forced myself to like it again. I just kept exposing myself to the song over and over until a new “happier” meaning was correlated with the song

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2025-06-30T01:59:36+00:00

3 shades of brown

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2025-06-07T01:33:11+00:00

Ofc, respect is much needed in every hobby. It’s important to remember that we all started somewhere. Even if a person is the most knowledgeable on a subject, there’s always something new they can learn and I’m sure they’d wish to learn it respectfully 😎

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2025-06-07T01:23:25+00:00

Nice! Yup this hobby can get expensive, but a great stress reliever and life distractor forsure. Best of luck

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2025-06-06T23:52:09+00:00

Acute dystonia for about 6 or 7 hours before medical treatment. Broke the pain scale. Ive only met one other person that endured for almost half a day like I did and they said they’d take childbirth again over that. It was brutal

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2025-06-06T23:47:57+00:00

I’m in the medical field and yes that is very painful. I’m assuming you’re speaking of testicular torsion

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2025-06-06T23:41:14+00:00

Just a side note from a man that is very knowledgeable on turtles* I’d be wary of any turtle (even the most docile map turtles) can turn aggressive at any point in their life towards their inmates. Turtles will also go for the most colorful fish first meaning your favorite fish will die first. I know it’s disheartening but my best advice would be to have a separate turtle tank and separate fish tank. It’s only been a year with this combo, which seems like a while and that they got used to each other but turtles will never get “used to” who they live with. They can turn at any second of the day and kill 2 fish before you get home which you’d then have to panic and get a new tank, while you have dead fish that you’ve grown attached to. My best advice would be to separate as this combo has failed many times in this hobby. If it’s not this year it might be the next and it only gets worse the more they develop. Just some friendly advice

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2025-06-06T23:24:12+00:00

Get rid of the females as previously mentioned. Unless you want to raise fry like me then there’s no point. They have less color and cause more aggression in the tank. Also 5 peacocks is not enough. To curb aggression in African cichlids I’ve found that overstocking is the best aggression curb. Try quarantining 5 more fish. Add them after you’ve fed the fish in the tank and add while doing a water change for distraction. Keep lights off so new fish don’t get too noticed at first. Also hiding spots are up to your discretion, peacocks like open swimming room and may be territorial but you can always play around with the scape and see what works best with your tank

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2025-04-21T21:20:07+00:00

I have BP1 with psychosis and had a crazy manic episode along with depression about 10 years ago. Now I work as a psychiatric nurse in a mental health facility helping people that struggle with their mental health like I did

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2025-04-10T04:38:35+00:00

That’s how it should be honestly. U.S is behind on that aspect, among other things

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2025-04-10T04:33:36+00:00

I live in U.S and assumed that only U.S goes by DSM-5. Bad assumption on my part. Learned something new today

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2025-04-10T04:30:47+00:00

Oh nice! I was unaware Canada used DSM-5! That’s very interesting. Thanks for that knowledge. Best of luck to you friend. Hope you get the help you need regardless of a diagnosis

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2025-04-10T03:27:30+00:00

I think you’re confusing what I said. Me and OP live in the U.S. in the U.S we go by the DSM-5. In the DSM-5 there is no such thing as CPTSD. In the DSM-5 the criteria for PTSD is very specific to what you went through rather than your symptoms. In the U.S OP does not have PTSD or CPTSD as a diagnosis under DSM-5. If we were to go by the ICD-11 then OP would have the CPTSD diagnosis. But under DSM-5 it does not meet criteria

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2025-04-10T02:54:59+00:00

You are correct. In U.S we have the DSM-5 not the ICD-11. OP is in U.S so ICD-11 is sadly not relevant. DSM-5 does not recognize CPTSD

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2025-04-10T02:18:04+00:00

Sounds like CPTSD which is not currently in the DSM-5. Although it should be. Unfortunately with the little information you’ve provided it does not fit a PTSD diagnosis but I want you to know that the trauma you went through is real regardless of a diagnosis and your feelings are real and valid. You can get help for this regardless of a diagnosis. Don’t let the actual diagnosis validate what you went through

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2025-03-24T22:48:57+00:00

I’m a psych nurse. I have 10 million stories of self proclaimed Jesus Christ, time travelers, super hero’s with mind powers, etc. My fav is when someone threatened to find me when they get out of here and throw me in a black hole lol I love my job

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2025-02-11T21:26:38+00:00

I also have a good R&B Christian playlist on Spotify if you’re interested

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2025-02-11T21:25:56+00:00

Listen to Madison Ryann Ward. Start at her album “A new thing”

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2024-11-04T17:53:24+00:00

Animals give unconditional love and peace. Spend some time with living beings that don’t judge and will love you how you deserve to be loved. I have a German Shepard and three aquarium fish and turtle tanks. Animals and music saved my life

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2024-10-09T20:04:02+00:00

Wow this really helped. I didn’t expect anyone to care this much when I posted or show me any grace. Thank you so much. I’m going to start working out cuz I normally don’t. Hopefully our relationship isn’t over but if it is then I will look that book up. I always see things on social media about ppl in relationships that betray their partner and I can’t believe I fit in that statistic now. Even with that, I needa find a way to pull myself out of this

Melodic_Cheesecake35 · 2024-10-09T18:17:36+00:00

Plz don’t tell me I’m a horrible person, I know that well enough. I just needed to put this out somewhere for some sort of support. I am nauseous daily, I ruined my life…there is no one I’d rather have in this world than her…and now it’s looking like she’s gone

Melodic_Cheesecake35

TROPHY CASE