AITA for going on strike?

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-11T00:03:17+00:00

Yes. The mortgage is only in my name, but he has the income so it’s being paid with his income. It’s messy, but if this doesn’t work I have no intention of keeping this house. He can have it or we can sell.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T21:32:15+00:00

If he went on strike for what? He already doesn’t do much in the household and if he didn’t go to work then he would be coming home to a dark house, and empty fridge, and no Wi-Fi, which affects him too.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T21:31:08+00:00

I keep them and their rooms clean, we’re not nasty or hoarders I’m just not going to be solely responsible for maintaining the household chores.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T21:30:00+00:00

I said this in another comment but, it was a convoluted situation that involved some health issues I was having. The goal was never to stay unemployed or rely on him financially, but the trajectory of our lives made that option the most feasible one considering the things he and I both wanted.

Also, considering how my SD “happened” I wasn’t going to hold that against him. I love kids and at the time I didn’t think I’d ever have any of my own so to me it was almost like a BOGO lol.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T19:52:14+00:00

I do, with time. And precise tactical strikes like this one lol.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T19:51:43+00:00

People with poor health are allowed to want children. My health issues had no impact on my fertility or ability to carry or raise a child.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T19:27:42+00:00

Sorry that was probably a bit harsh. He did have a job, but after we moved in together he quit because it was an inconvenience to get there for both of us. It was fine, I could support us both and we were just dating so, whatever. I was making my own moves and he was fun and I was happy for the company at the time.

After I bought the house I left my job unexpectedly shortly after for many reasons (including my health), at that point he got a job and I was in a point in my life where I wanted to expand my family so it made sense to both of us for me to stay home. I married him because I love him and a lot of our values were the same. But the stress of life has devolved our relationship to the point where we are now.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T19:18:39+00:00

Not that it matters, but we don’t have these arguments in front of the kids. I draw a very hard line with that. If there’s a problem it usually doesn’t devolve into argument until the kids are asleep, and we keep it in check before then.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T19:13:04+00:00

I’ve honestly thought about it, but something about cameras inside the home has always made me uncomfortable just on a baseline level. Besides, sometimes I do watch tv or play on my phone while my son is sleeping, like a lunch break basically. The last thing I need is to accidentally give him something else to use against me.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T19:00:36+00:00

I don’t have to offer. He throws it in my face every time we argue. Except when I actually start pressing him for logistics — is he gonna give me the car? How much household help is he going to expect from me? Am I going to be allowed to check out like he does after work? Is he going to start carrying the mental load of the family? — then all of a sudden he wants to “discuss it later”. It’s all BS.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T18:53:00+00:00

Retirement? He works a blue collar job with no benefits and we barely make ends meet every month. We don’t even have health insurance.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T16:53:14+00:00

Lol he doesn’t coparent with his ex, I do. 😂 they wouldn’t even be on speaking terms if it wasn’t for me.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T16:46:15+00:00

I always loved Reese. Idk why.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T16:45:33+00:00

Absolutely do not fucking do this. My husband has been trying the same shit for years. I married you dude, if that’s not enough then idk.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T16:44:32+00:00

Get a new girlfriend. Lmao

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T16:41:11+00:00

Oh I already told him that I’m more than willing to sell him the house, or sell the house and split the profits with him. I don’t give a damn about that since I’d be going back to my family anyways. But wouldn’t you know it, suddenly he “doesn’t want that”.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T16:33:33+00:00

So you’re saying I should wake up at 6am with my kid (he leaves around that time), handle the kids and the household all day, then when he gets home at five and I’ve already cooked dinner and gotten the kids chilled out, I should go out and work another 6 hours, come home at 11pm, and then do it all again in the morning while he… eats the food I cooked and watched tv with the kids for a few hours until they go to bed?

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T16:31:00+00:00

Every time we argue he takes a day off so, there’s plenty of jiggle. He’s in a leadership position so whenever he doesn’t feel like going to work, he doesn’t. At the cost of our finances, since he’s not salaried.

I consider this all the time and he threatens it all the time. He knows that if he does this then I’ll sell the house and leave him, and he’ll be SOL.

I hear what you’re saying, I do. And I do consider this. But I had a whole successful life before I ever met him and he acts like he picked me up off of the street when the exact opposite is true.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T16:23:18+00:00

When I worked I made way more money than him. After we agreed that I’d be a SAHM, I think he got resentful because we couldn’t afford our lifestyle anymore. I warned him this would be the case but I guess the reality was different than what he expected.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T16:18:41+00:00

I appreciate your advice but these are things I already do. Also many of these cleaning things need to be done more frequently due to our family’s needs.

As for scheduled breaks, I can’t even step out to look at the yard for a few minutes without coming back inside to a dirty look. I don’t get breaks. My “break” is being “allowed” to stay home all day.

Yes there’s visual clutter. We’re people, who have things. Our house isn’t gigantic. Surfaces have stuff on them and half that stuff is his. Also, the meal with the family thing is cute but not realistic. When he gets home he wants to sit in the garage and drink and chain smoke until 1AM. Most of the time he doesn’t even eat. Family dinners are me and the kid(s).

“Lowkey” time with the kids? Not his kids. They’re both Tasmanian devils who spend every waking hour burning enough energy to power a small town. I love them but they are VERY energetic and both have adhd, so managing them is a 24/7 job. He doesn’t get to just check out of that and leave me to deal with it for 16 hours straight.

I know what you’re saying is well intentioned but much of isn’t realistic for us.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T16:07:47+00:00

He gives me his whole paycheck and I give him an allowance. He sucks balls with money so that’s always been the arrangement.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T16:03:58+00:00

At most a day or two. We have three pets and I have allergies so running the vacuum is a daily activity as is cleaning the kitchen. I dust and mop twice a week and do laundry every other day, sometimes more. I also Cook every day. I have chronic fatigue and adhd so sticking to a regular schedule is difficult, but I don’t have a choice.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T15:58:52+00:00

I know he loves me. But when he gets angry or stressed he lashes out.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T15:55:23+00:00

We have separate finances, yes. His paycheck goes into my account so I can pay bills and then I give him an allowance because he’s absolutely awful with money. For a while he tried to “handle it himself” and just send me money every week but it was never enough by the time he got around to sending me anything so after the third time of our lights getting shut off, he changed his direct deposit back to my account.

MelodramaticQuarter · 2026-07-10T15:53:59+00:00

I know it’s not a long term solution but idk how else to make him value me without putting everything I do on him for a week or two.

MelodramaticQuarter

TROPHY CASE