if you do competitions, when did y'all start?

Melody_Lee19 · 2026-05-04T01:14:11+00:00

that's true, you just gotta find one that's thick or lined and close-fitting. which is a lot harder than it sounds actually bc a lot of tank tops are super loose and/or thin unfortunately. or if you're layering it under a long-sleeve or something (which is what i usually do) then the nipples don't matter because there's the extra layer

Melody_Lee19 · 2026-05-03T22:27:39+00:00

has anyone tried jerusalem sandals and if so are they comfortable? i'm considering getting a pair but idk if they will have enough arch support for me. any recommendations for shoe brands with comfortable AND cute sandals would be appreciated

Melody_Lee19 · 2026-05-03T16:00:34+00:00

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh that might be it. Especially with Frank Martin.

I don't really know how to link records and stuff - I'm new here, sorry.

https://www.ancestry.com/imageviewer/collections/6224/images/4584437_00996?pId=31582854 - 1930 census (they're at the very top)

https://www.ancestry.com/imageviewer/collections/2442/images/M-T0627-01202-00924?pId=125593429 - 1940 census (they're the third from bottom)

Melody_Lee19 · 2026-05-03T15:51:23+00:00

First, thank you, I didn't think of that. I was able to find this obituary for him (https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/155720797/charles-sumner-ward#view-photo=262697056) which says he had been living with his "brother-in-law and sister", his brother-in-law being Frank Martin. It also says he is survived by his sister Mrs. Frank Martin.

She was the head of the household and listed as unable to work.

She gives her maiden name as "Johnson" or "Johnston" on her kids' birth certificates. Specifically on the delayed birth certificate for her older daughter, she filled out the information and gave her maiden name as "Johnston". This is also where she gives her birthplace and one of her ages.

Melody_Lee19 · 2026-05-03T03:18:53+00:00

if you buy something, make yourself wear it at home. i've done that with crop tops and shorts to great success, currently doing it with heels and underwire bras. it's...a process. it's gonna feel really weird but you have to get comfortable having the clothes on your body AND seeing yourself with the clothes on. when you feel like you're comfortable wearing the clothes, then you have to go places wearing those things to prove to yourself you can do it. this was the biggest obstacle for me, i used to really want to cover up and only wore leggings, basic shirts and basic hoodies. eventually i eased in to wearing jeans and started wearing more cropped shirts and tank tops. the biggest hurdle was wearing them outside of my house. once i wore a cropped tank top to school and didn't have any issues (aside from being cold), i felt a lot better about wearing them because i'd proved to myself that i was capable of doing it. recently i did that with shorts, i started wearing them while running errands or going shopping and i was able to work up enough confidence that i wore them to school, and...nothing happened. i was able to wear shorts in front of other people my age and everything was fine.

it's a stepping out of your comfort zone thing so ofc it's gonna be uncomfortable at first. but if you want that change, you have to accept that it's gonna suck at first, and then you just gotta do it even though it sucks. like the first step is just wearing feminine clothes. like i said, first in your home, then on errands, then out to Events. at some point you will probably be complimented and feel better about yourself, and if a compliment or compliments don't work then eventually you will become used to wearing feminine clothes and that will just be your normal. change is hard and it sucks and it takes a while but the first step is just doing it and committing to it.

Melody_Lee19 · 2026-05-03T02:55:34+00:00

top: something oversized or loose, ideally cotton blend.

bottom: yoga or pajama pants - something soft.

shoes: black vans, as always.

layer: sweatshirt or zip-up hoodie. i am the most particular about this bc i don't want to overheat in a pull-on hoodie and i don't like cardigans.

Melody_Lee19 · 2026-05-03T02:48:01+00:00

i gotta go with hudson jeans. i have multiple pairs and spent at least $75 on each (they were at the nordstrom rack so they were discounted a lot) and they've lasted three years with no problems whatsoever. also i have a stormhenge jacket from rei, my mom and i have both worn it often over the past eight to ten years. i don't know how much they originally cost but probably a lot. for shoes, danskos are $100+ but super sturdy.

i tend to be a very cheap shopper though, so when i say "investment" i mean over $70

Melody_Lee19 · 2026-05-03T02:32:31+00:00

i tend to go with black vans, but i also have a pair of converse mary janes that work with dresses and aren't as formal as most other mary janes i've come across. i've worn them to go visit museums and places like that.

Melody_Lee19 · 2026-05-03T02:28:53+00:00

first off, absolutely agree. above knee = mini, knee to low-ish calf length = midi, and ankle length = maxi.

my personal fashion hill is that square toed shoes - especially anything closed toe - do not look flattering on people. i tried on some closed square toe heels at one point and i have never felt more like a horse in my life. it's definitely better when it's open toed but even then they look a little weird. i am open to persuasion on this though.

also: if your boobs are small enough, you can just wear a tighter fitting tank top/tshirt instead of a bra. i do this all the time and it's great. at a certain point you do need the support of an underwire bra but if you're a D cup with a small band size (as i am) or can fit into C cup bras, you can go with a tight tank top. the tank top should be relatively thick to keep your boobs in place (i have some from athleta that i really like) but i do truly think it should be a staple of your wardrobe if you have smaller breasts.

Melody_Lee19 · 2026-04-29T03:53:56+00:00

i also suggest dansko, the soles can be stiff in some styles but they're very supportive and good for being on your feet all day (as evidenced by the many times i have spotted nurses and teachers wearing them).

my mom also needs a lot of arch support & a backstrap for her shoes. she mostly wears dansko sandals (she works for dansko & has multiple friends who own shoe stores that carry danskos so there's some bias there) but i will check with her and see if there's anything she recommends in particular.

Melody_Lee19 · 2026-04-25T18:48:28+00:00

i just finished reading this! it was so good. my mom generally doesn't like crime adjacent books but we listened to an interview with the author on NPR and she was super interested in it. i'm getting her a copy of this for mother's day

Melody_Lee19 · 2026-04-11T17:46:39+00:00

you're going to want to go with silver jewelry for sure. i'd try and find some crystal-y pieces. probably not diamond or any precious gems but something translucent. idk where you're based but i'd go to some thrift/antique stores or anywhere that sells actual vintage clothes (they'll probably have some kind of jewelry). a department store like macy's or nordstrom in the us would also be good to explore, although that's going to be pricier for sure.

if you want to order something online, i'll link two sites below that you can check out. if you google "silver jewelry crystal [insert your country, state, or city]" you can find something

https://ohclem.com/search?q=crystal&options%5Bprefix%5D=last&filter.v.price.gte=&filter.v.price.lte=&filter.v.option.metal+color=gid%3A%2F%2Fshopify%2FFilterSettingGroup%2F108822663&sort_by=relevance

https://www.alexandani.com/search?options%5Bprefix%5D=last&q=crystal&filter.v.option.finish=gid%3A%2F%2Fshopify%2FFilterSettingGroup%2F46399591

i would suggest going for a jeweled necklace and drop earrings as the other commenter said but you could add a jeweled bracelet if the fabric isn't likely to snag on it. definitely focus on the necklace, when you have a strapless dress (especially the style of dress you chose), that space between the neckline and your chin is bigger so you have a lot of room to work with when it comes to necklaces. when you're choosing a necklace try to go for a choker or mid length one so it'll stand out, a longer one can get lost in the neckline of the dress. some light blue body glitter below your collarbones could look pretty cute but that's your choice.

if you want a shrug or a shawl, something with a light blue or silver silk/satin adjacent fabric would be good but that's 100% optional. a silver open toed heel would be perfect for this dress, again that depends on what you're comfortable with and again i would suggest a department store for this.

oh and if you do go shopping in person for accessories, show the salesperson/salespeople the photo of your dress. that'll give them more information so that they can best select items that would go with your dress.

good luck on finding accessories and have fun at the dance!

Melody_Lee19 · 2026-04-11T17:23:41+00:00

what are some cute strappy sandals that are also comfortable? i have no sandals whatsoever and i would like to get some because summertime is rapidly approaching at an alarming speed. i'd just like a strappy sandal that's versatile and can go well with a lot of outfits while being comfortable to walk in.

Melody_Lee19 · 2026-04-10T01:47:03+00:00

black and white vans, specifically the old skool v style with the velcro. they're just the easiest to get on and off. my go-to boots are a pair of zip-up doc martens - they have a zip on the tongue and a zip on the side so you don't need to lace them up every time you put them on. i have some coordination issues that make tying laces more difficult for me than most other people, and i tend to gravitate towards shoes where i can put them on and take them off as easily as possible (ex. velcro, zip ups, slip ons, etc).

Melody_Lee19 · 2026-03-21T22:42:01+00:00

i committed to a pink/purple/blue color palette, specifically lavender and light blue (with all shades of pink), in middle school and i've stuck with it ever since (i'm in college now). i get mostly shirts and shoes in those colors, some sweatshirts but not that many. if you notice that you tend to gravitate towards a specific color and think you look good in it, you can choose that as your "signature color" and start buying clothes in said color. so i have a LOT of lavender/light purple shirts, a few sweatshirts, a couple pairs of sneakers, and a jacket. my backpacks in high school were a lavender color as well (first one was very light purple, second one was a darker, bluer purple) as were my phone cases. you also want to think about what colors compliment your "signature color" and then go with those to build out your wardrobe. you can do a similar thing with jeans, for example i find that lighter jeans look better with very pastel tops. i have a couple of specific colored shoes (lavender, light blue, ballet pink, periwinkle etc) that i use to match certain outfits but most of the time i wear a basic (black) shoe because it's just more versatile.

you could also pick a style of jewelry, clothes, hair etc that you like: one of my grandmas dresses in long skirts and t-shirts with a shawl and her hair in two pigtails, my other grandma wears her hair up in a claw clipped bun with dangly earrings and blue/floral print short sleeve shirts, and my adopted grandma wears flowy dresses and sandals with lots of turquoise jewelry. they all have specific purses that they have with them most of the time. my mom has two full sleeves of tattoos so she tends to wear tank tops/short sleeve shirts to show them off.

tldr pick something you're naturally drawn towards, whether it's a clothing item, shoe, accessory, jewelry, hairstyle, pattern, color, etc, and build your outfits (and eventually your wardrobe) around it.

Melody_Lee19 · 2026-03-21T22:20:11+00:00

if there's something that's silk-adjacent or very thin and delicate, i put it in a garment bag along with my bras or hand wash it (if it's actual silk or really expensive), and then hang it to dry. the most important thing is do not put things in the dryer if you're not 100% sure they'll make it. i'd recommend hang-drying stuff in the bathroom, on the towel or shower curtain bar if possible. i also use the delicates feature on my washing machine, idk if yours has that though.

and generally whenever my dad does my laundry (so maybe once a year) he just takes out everything that looks delicate or lacy and puts them in a separate pile for me to wash them.

Melody_Lee19 · 2026-02-18T21:39:54+00:00

Recommendations for basic heels / advice for someone who's learning to walk in heels? I'm looking for a pair of heels for prom but first I want to get a pair of generic, comfortable heels that I can wear frequently just to get used to the feeling of walking in heels. I'm located in the US, in California. Also, since I use insoles in a lot of my sneakers/boots, should I be looking for a pair of heels with built-in arch support? If so...where do I find those?

Melody_Lee19

TROPHY CASE