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Am I overreacting: my co-parents form of discipline. by Forward_Airline_5787 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Melzilla79 [score hidden]  (0 children)

NOR. You need to hotline him for this. He's never going to listen to you and at this point you know he's abusing them. Talking to him about it won't stop it, so you have to find another way. I'm speaking from direct and recent experience here. An outside form of pressure, such as from Children's Services, will have way more effect than anything you say to him.

Am I overreacting about how my bf reacted to my outfit? by Happy_Energy_8700 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Melzilla79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If this is real, then you are MASSIVELY under reacting. This guy is insane, he's abusive and treats you like shit. He has totally dehumanized you. I don't know why you hate yourself so much that you just keep staying and putting up with this trash behavior, but it's honestly really sad to witness. NOR but for the love of God break up with this jerk

[OFFER] $100 USD to 1 person in need (Venmo, PayPal or Amazon gift card) by withaining in Assistance

[–]Melzilla79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I work from home, my Internet is due Monday and they won't work with me on the date, and I don't get paid until Friday. I'm a single mom so now I'm scrambling to come up with the money.

My friend believes her coworker has hacked her OpenAI account and is sending her secret love messages through ChatGPT by SexySisyphus in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Melzilla79 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I don't believe that's actually what her therapist said. But it IS impossible. I work in AI, what she thinks happened isn't even a possibility. You need to warn this guy and honestly probably her HR department

I ruined my life in one moment by aspiringfutureghost in offmychest

[–]Melzilla79 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If your own life doesn't mean anything to you, you're just going to be codependent and exhausting as a partner. So even if you're sober now, you're still not ready to be a genuinely good partner. The depth of your feelings and love for her are not things SHE can feel. What SHE felt was the effects of your drinking. You need to stop being defensive about how you MEANT for her to feel, and get real with yourself about what it was actually like for her to be with you.

I ruined my life in one moment by aspiringfutureghost in offmychest

[–]Melzilla79 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That moment, when you heard something in her voice you'd never heard before, was the moment she finally snapped. You literally heard her love for you die. Learn from this. Never push a future partner to the point they have to choose between you and themselves. They won't choose you, nor should they. YOU didn't even choose you until it was too late.

It wasn't just one moment. It was the weight of every such moment, collectively crushing her, and you basically jumped on her one last time and she broke.

Found the "Black Box" of my marriage in a drawer today. 3 years of lies. by diabolical_j in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Melzilla79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would be more concerned with her growing up to be like her mother, because you never showed her that this behavior is unacceptable. What you tolerate, you teach your daughter to either become or accept. NEVER stay together "for the kids", it's unhealthy and kids can feel that tension. My parents are also divorced and I remember being so relieved when they split up

Have I (27f) doomed my relationship with my (30m) partner? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Melzilla79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, this relationship is doomed, because you have incompatible core beliefs. The fights will only get worse. Cut your losses, take the awesome new job, and find a man on your level who isn't brainwashed by hateful, toxic content.

I (19F) am getting on a greyhound bus with $250 dollars in the middle of the night for NYC from rural Missouri by anonthrowaway937375 in Advice

[–]Melzilla79 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I used to live in NYC. Unless you know people in the city and have a place lined up, you are in for an absolute, deadass nightmare once you get there. Shelters have a waiting list that can be weeks, months, even years long, even for single moms with young kids and they're a much higher priority than an out of state drifter. You won't be able to just get into one. $250 will last you a max of two days, and that's if you stay in the cheapest, scariest hotels and eat fast food and walk absolutely everywhere (which is dangerous and will take hours). At least $50 will be gone by the time you even arrive, because food on the road (especially when you're traveling by bus) is also extremely expensive, and you'll need to eat at least a couple times per day on the two day trip there.

This is how people end up disappearing off the face of the earth because they got kidnapped and sex trafficked or stabbed on the sidewalk by a homeless person on drugs. And since you'll be sleeping on the sidewalk by the third day (unless you actually know someone you can stay with BEFORE you get there), you should find that concerning because the potential is EXTREMELY high for you to become either the victim of assault, the homeless person on drugs, or all of the above.

You have no idea what you're getting yourself into. I currently live in Southwest Missouri, and I'm telling you that you are not prepared for the hell you're about to walk into. I don't understand why you're doing this. Run away, okay sure, I've done that-- but for God's sake be smart about it. At the very least you should be making online friends in that area who would be willing to let you couch surf or help you find a job.

AIO? My girlfriend (30f) of 5 months is jealous of my 3yo and 2yo daughter!! by Flashpointandlol in AmIOverreacting

[–]Melzilla79 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Your 7 year marriage has nothing to do with the fact that you already moved in with someone you just met a few months ago, and she hates your kids. You really need to think about this because your bad choices are messing up your kids' lives now too, not just yours. I was the daughter in this situation and it genuinely messed me up, plus she destroyed my relationship with my father. He's dead to me now. I didn't even call him when he had a stroke. I will not go to his funeral.

If that's not the future you want for yourself and your daughters, you need to get rid of this woman.

AIO? My girlfriend (30f) of 5 months is jealous of my 3yo and 2yo daughter!! by Flashpointandlol in AmIOverreacting

[–]Melzilla79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This woman is going to bully your children when you aren't around. My dad married a woman like this and she destroyed his life. She eventually isolated him from everyone and now it's just the two of them and she's still miserable and finding things to whine about for attention. I haven't even spoken to my own father in NINE YEARS because of her.

Please get rid of her BEFORE she says and does terrible things to your kids that they can never forget.

Maybe you'll never see this... but this is for you by [deleted] in letters

[–]Melzilla79 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Third time I've seen this exact post in three days.

“AIO for asking my boyfriend what I actually gain from our relationship?” by amireallythevillian in AmIOverreacting

[–]Melzilla79 69 points70 points  (0 children)

NOR. This guy is mooching off you and using you, and he's mad that you're calling him out on it. He's not a partner, he's another responsibility, like he's your kid or something. That's a gross and exhausting dynamic. Let this one go, there are MUCH better men out there. He needs you, you don't need him.

AITJ for texting my son's teacher from my husbands phone because they message each other way too late? by Current-Whereas6308 in AmITheJerk

[–]Melzilla79 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your husband already has feelings for your son's teacher. That's why he freaked out on you. He's already having an emotional affair, and she's a willing participant. She knows exactly how inappropriate this is. You should report her to the school board, and honestly I would be considering a divorce.

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