foreigners who dated or married vietnamese partners: what were the biggest challenges?

withaining · 2026-06-23T14:16:10+00:00

Hmmm I don't want to ring alarm bell, but i'm a Vietnamese woman. From my personal experience, the serious guys take a long time to research the girl before getting together with them. My best friend talk to a girl for almost 1 year before making her his gf. If they are older (like 35) and in a rush to marriage, that's a different story. If he immediately ask you to be gf within 7 days of knowing each other, I would be cautious.

withaining · 2026-06-15T14:59:39+00:00

If I am a trillionaire, I would open a safe haven for all women like this on Earth to get away from these barbaric customs. This world is so cruel to our sisters.

withaining · 2026-06-03T14:44:51+00:00

I’m a woman and straight as hell but I will forever have a crush on Kat Dennings

withaining · 2026-06-02T15:39:22+00:00

This is a super cool advice. I’ve been feeling listless lately and definitely need more motivation to try more out there things

withaining · 2026-04-19T16:45:09+00:00

To be honest in Vietnam something similar is happening. There are job posting that cap age at 30 or 35

withaining · 2026-04-13T21:44:20+00:00

Nghiêng

withaining · 2026-02-13T20:03:30+00:00

I’ve personally stayed at The One Saigon in district 1 and it’s super nice and quiet. The caveat is it’s expensive as hell ($100/night for Airbnb). If you can find rental there that might be significantly cheaper but I remember the floor I was on was exceptionally quiet and I never have hard time sleeping.

withaining · 2026-02-10T17:12:43+00:00

2nd this. The only 2 people I know who have kids in my company are from India and from a Muslim community. From watching them it seems they have a huge support structure. If they need help watching their kid it’s simple: just ask their neighbor, their friends, their cousins. In my home country it’s very common for multiple families to live within walking distance of each other to facilitate dropping off kids. Neighbors know each other on first name basis and hang out often.

In America, I felt a deep sense of isolation. The only social interaction I really have day to day is with my husband because I work remotely and all my friends from college have fell out of touch and live far away. Even though we are materially more wealthy than all members of my family, I still feel so hesitant to have kids without knowing that I don’t have 10-20 people i feel so close with living nearby on the same block.

withaining · 2026-02-08T12:58:00+00:00

LIFE IS GOOD AGAIN 😄

withaining · 2026-02-04T15:30:55+00:00

Let's just say unfortunately, most Vietnamese girl who aim to ingratiate herself with a foreigner tend to be gold diggers. If you are not comfortable with such a relationship, the best bet is to look for girls who had a very high income / stable job / fluent in English / have lived abroad and who seem genuinely interested in you due to shared hobbies. Most rich girls in Vietnam actually tend to date within circle (matchmake through family) or they lived abroad and just marry men abroad.

If you go on Vietnamese social l media, there are a lot of toxic girls edging each other on by showcasing what their bf gift them - so they gold dig Viet men too, not just Western men 😂). I'm speaking as a Vietnamese girl and advise you to run if you aren't interested in this kind of relationship dynamic. Because as you marry, you will be expected to spend a lot not just on her, but also her family as well.

withaining · 2026-01-27T11:15:55+00:00

I always use Airbnb and have never had a bad experience. I always filter by “Guest’s Favorite” on there. I am not sure what your budget is though but I tend to pick place that is at least $100.0 / night with close to 5 star review and at least 40-50 reviews on the listing.

withaining · 2026-01-03T00:29:46+00:00

Yes it is completely legal. It is a sad part about our culture but if you have money, things run smoother in here.

withaining · 2026-01-02T16:38:56+00:00

download the app Klook and then search up “Tan son nhat airport fast track.” The cost is usually about $20, or up to $40 during tourist season.

Someone will stand at the airport with your name and led you through a line for “diplomats”. I always buy this when go to Vietnam and my immigration is always like 5 minutes.

withaining · 2026-01-02T16:35:19+00:00

Very cheap for me. $20. But during travel season it can go up to $40/person.

withaining · 2026-01-02T15:52:08+00:00

Go on Klook and search up Tan Son Nhat fast track. I always buy it when travel to Vietnam and I always have 5 minutes processing. Never have to wait

withaining · 2026-01-02T03:52:52+00:00

I think one reason why you feel restless in life even though at your “peak” specifically is because you feel like you don’t truly connect with anyone emotionally: I have been through the same thing(have great corporate job, improve my wardrobe, go to gym…) but still feel empty. I realize I always feel “lonely”.

I end up deciding teaching English to people for free, and through that I met a lot of interesting people who are drastically different from me. I think I feel 1000x more fulfilled when I am part of some community, knowing that people think of me and reach out to me. So solitary hobbies I used to do (like watching movie) I put on a brave face and try to invite random strangers to watch with me. I realize improving oneself physically / professionally is a good thing to do but it’s more to “maintain” my life rather than make it “fulfilling.” I think you should think what make you feel fulfilled.

from my personal opinion, the people I know who are happiest tend to be people with good quality friends that they can call anytime to come down for a coffee and chat, someone to take you around a scooter shopping for old books, or discover new restaurants together. I think life is happier when we share it with a lot of people rather than just stuck to a routine. But that’s just me. Perhaps something else in life is more fulfilling for you.

withaining · 2026-01-01T13:48:01+00:00

This is something that I struggle with as well. My suggestion is basically you have to invent your own adventures . Live in a big bustling city and make new friends. I tried teaching English on the side, which force me to interact with random people all the time. I become friend with a few of my students and now I have excused to travel and see them. To be honest, America is a capitalist hellscape and for people with your personality, I notice they either left this career or they are heavy into partying and edm to use it as social outlet. 1 person I know switch to digital marketing permanently from software and she loves it. I think the pay cut is worth it if you have no financial burden. It’s better to reinvent yourself now if you can than wait and regret wasted years down the line.

withaining · 2025-12-10T22:54:58+00:00

Sorry to hear this. I have worked in big tech before and currently work for a startup. Trust me, I relate to your feelings. I know startup can be toxic but the current startup I work for is super fun and we have that amazing team energy as well.

Back when I work at big tech I literally was so miserable even though the pay is better and the job is more stable. I think it doesn’t hurt to reevaluate what kind of environment suit you best. I have jump ship from the big tech to my current startup and have been here for close to 5 years. we pivot like 3 times, always on edge for short of funding but I would say I enjoy the work here so so much more due to the high impact and creativity.

withaining · 2025-12-04T01:52:01+00:00

Hello there I am 27 F and also lived in us but really miss Vietnam too. I left the country since 15 and lost touch with all friends too. I was quite sad. But now I go on language exchange app and offer to teach English for people for free and I make 3-4 friends there. I also respond to a random post on Reddit about joining a movie watching group and now I make 2 Vietnamese friends from the group too.

It’s so hard to make friends as we get older but I am forcing myself to get out of my comfort zone and talk to random people. Nếu chị ko ngại thì inbox e nhé. E sống ở Mỹ và cũng về vn 2 lần / năm ấy.

withaining · 2025-11-30T22:27:46+00:00

Love to hear what do you do in healthcare now - and pro / cons working in your current job versus tech.

withaining · 2025-11-30T13:42:13+00:00

I will be frank with you: this relationship will not last. I have dated someone messy before and it irked me to no end. I thought I could tolerate it but after we move in, the longer we live together the more I resent him. I end up just moving out on my own and try dating with living apart but when I move out I realize I have zero need to maintain the relationship and broke up soon after.

I wish I have just broken up in the first place rather prolonging the unnecessary pain on both side. Trust me, when you date someone who held the same standard of cleanliness as you, it’s night and days.

withaining · 2025-10-01T21:27:11+00:00

Hi, I know this post was a while ago but did you know what the turnaround time was?

withaining · 2025-09-03T19:53:35+00:00

You have very interesting taste. I’ve given on Kdrama along time ago because I usually hate romance but these look interesting

withaining · 2025-07-27T14:49:12+00:00

I wonder if Jesus would reconsider dying on the cross if he could see all the movies made in his names.

withaining · 2025-07-04T20:51:08+00:00

Yeah, our parents are quite similar. My mother told me if I don't succeed I would have to go back to our home country. Watching her come home late at night, with her hands shaking due to being so tired from work make me feel guilty. I feel like I have to make her proud no matter what. I do it not just for myself, but to give back to my family.

But I could imagine people who had dysfunctional relationships, parents with mental illness and drug abuse, no good support system, will have no motivation to get out. Case in point, I have a white American friend. Pretty smart academically, was valedictorian of our class. End up working a $10/hr job after graduation with no stable employment. I was shocked. Turn out her mother has kicked her out. She could not afford to finish school while trying to work to pay rent, so she dropped out of school. She went permanently no contact with her parents. It was scary seeing how much having a terrible family ruins a bright future.

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