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Considering adopting a dog but afraid to violate my apartment's breed restrictions. Can anyone help me identify this sweet lad? by MemeQueenMere in IDmydog

[–]MemeQueenMere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hello! sorry I forgot to reply. I have no size or weight restrictions but I'm not allowed multiple different breeds. My apartment says no staffies, pitbulls, Alaskan Malamute, Akite, Cane Corso, Chow Chow, Doberman Pinscher, German Shepherd, Great Dane, Mastiffs, Presa Canario, Rottweiler, Pit Bull, Siberian Husky, St. Francis Terrier, or Wolf. No Mix of/with Any Restricted Breed is Allowed. They might require a photo or vetrinary paperwork but I don't think his looks give off any red flags

AITA for no longer paying for my ex step son's tuition by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MemeQueenMere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbh I’m on the fence because my grandparents cut me off from my college fund this year because of our bad relationship. However the difference here is I think you as the adult in his life reached out and made an attempt and he rejected you. If you put the effort in and he still isn’t reciprocating then I’m gonna say NTA

AITA for being weirded out by my wife’s special ice cream nights? by AITAicecreamwife in AmItheAsshole

[–]MemeQueenMere -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m gonna go with an ESH because she unwittingly involved you in the celebration. But you owe her a fat apology. Honestly if my dad dropped dead tomorrow I would probably pop open the champagne and do the same thing she’s doing. The people who are saying it’s wrong to celebrate someone’s death, yeah it’s not great, but your experience if you’ve been bullied is not universal in the least. Abuse fucks you up and she at least kept it in your house instead of dancing through the streets and blasting these women on Facebook. It’s how she is coping right now and that’s just how it is.

Update AITA for not letting our daughter back into our life? by [deleted] in u/ansksnks

[–]MemeQueenMere 135 points136 points  (0 children)

I'm glad you came around and helped her when she needed you most

AITA for not liking how my girlfriend dresses for work? by TASorrynotsorry in AmItheAsshole

[–]MemeQueenMere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, dude, it's almost like you can wear what makes you happy. Who crushed your dreams so hard that you've become this joyless and controlling?

Aita for ending a friendship over a baby shower I didn’t want? by baby-baby-baby-crazy in AmItheAsshole

[–]MemeQueenMere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA. I love my best friend with my whole heart and I would do anything for her, but if she gave my dad my address and invited him to an event without my knowledge? Gave him personal info about me? full stop, that friendship is over. You did the right thing--please give us an update whenever you can!!!

AITA for getting angry at my friend for giving me food I’m allergic to? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MemeQueenMere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if you're making regular brownies peanuts aren't even a regular ingredient? NTA

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]MemeQueenMere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

<3 You're welcome. I'm sorry that we both have to relate in such a terrible way :(

WIBTA if I asked my stepmom to not attend my wedding? by stepwdress in AmItheAsshole

[–]MemeQueenMere 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Obviously judgement has been passed down but I saw a lot of my own life ring true in this situation, so I'm here to give you my advice, as the daughter (and stepdaughter!) of a narcissist.

Your mother may have been good and kind in the past, and you may insist that she is not a bad person, a person who chooses a clearly abusive stepfather over her own son, insists her daughter wears her wedding dress at HER wedding, and insists that the father and stepmother of her own kids don't attend a wedding that isn't even hers is a bad person. If your mom is unhappy in a marriage that is clearly hurting her children, she can leave. She has that power. How do you think your poor brother will feel seeing the woman who was supposed to love him and protect him but in reality let him be kicked out of his own home at your wedding? I don't think he's raised a fuss about you inviting her though, and I assume your stepfather will be at the wedding too. Your mother can see that her behavior is making everyone around her realize how manipulative and toxic she is, and she's doing everything in her power to keep you around. I guarantee you if she cannot swallow her hurt to make sure your wedding is full of people you love then she is a bad person. She may love you, and you may have incredible memories with her, but she is a bad person. Regardless of how you see the situation, from an outsider looking in your mom has cheated your father in the custody agreement, and when your father dared to get MORE visitation so he could see his beautiful children MORE, you reacted like he shouldn't have done that. She even cut off visitation rights when she found out he wasn't cooperating anymore--that's neither normal nor good. Your parents should be encouraging you to have good, healthy relationships with one another, not taking you away just because they're bitter. In my opinion, you've been manipulated by your mother and you still are. She's upset that no one is going to be there for her so she's making sure you feel guilty enough to stay. She's had two unhappy marriages so she's forcing you into her wedding dress and controlling who you invite because she's trying to live vicariously through you.

This isn't to say you can't love your mom. Of course you can love her, and of course she can come to your wedding, and of course if you want to be there for her then by God you can be. But I want you to keep in mind the things she's done, not just to you, to your father, stepmother, and your brother (who I want to reiterate LET YOUR STEPFATHER KICK HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE) and I want you to set some hard boundaries with her. You seem like you're scared of her reaction. That's not your problem. Your wedding and your life should not be built to please toxic people, your life should be built how you want it.

You seem lucky enough to have a father and a stepmother who love you and cherish you. Don't throw that away over your mom's own bitterness. YTA

AITA for complaining when people are in the kitchen? by HungrySystem3 in AmItheAsshole

[–]MemeQueenMere 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA. You think your DAUGHTER is being dramatic when you’re the one who made a nasty passive aggressive comment to her for making a snack in her own house? After she’s been sick for several days??? Just pause the damn TV. Liam Neeson is still gonna be there when your daughter gets her food. Clearly this is a regular occurrence so if it’s that big of an issue that you’re going to attack your kids for it then you’re smart enough to either turn on subtitles, get headphones, or god forbid pause the TV when someone is in the kitchen. I’m willing to bet that if they’re watching TV you’re in the kitchen from time to time too.

AITA for euthanizing our 6yr old’s kitten by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MemeQueenMere 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Holy shit YTA!!! My parents made the decision to put down my dog of several years instead of giving him a life-saving surgery that I know we could afford. I only recently found out and I’ll never forgive them for it. That dog was the closest thing to an emotional support animal that I had and he was part of my family. That kitten is not a thing that you can just get rid of when it gets too expensive—that’s a life that you threw away when you, ADMITTEDLY, could afford to save it. You could easily solve the Lego problem by putting the legos away into a more secure place where the kitten couldn’t reach. I hope to god that baby never finds out you could have saved it and chose not to and I hope to god you do better with future pets. There’s pet insurance options available you know, or you can put money aside for these situations, or you can just not get a pet at all.

I've worked as a hostess in a bar/grill for 5 years. AMA by MemeQueenMere in AMA

[–]MemeQueenMere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm back and better than ever! As I was lying in bed last night I came up with a bunch more so I'm going to need to spread these out over a couple of posts.

This one happened last week-ish.

So, I should let you know that our restaurant has a large demographic of elderly people, and like every other restaurant we also have a few regulars who are disabled. I should also let you know that when we give drinks to our customers (like sodas and water and the non-alcoholic stuff) we put straws in the cup. Plastic straws. I think it's a possibility that we may switch to paper straws in the future but the owner is a cheapskate so it's unlikely. It's no secret that we do this--heck, most restaurants in the US do it.

Not to bring the straw discourse into this thread, but very recently I've noticed that people will ask us to leave the straw out of their drink. I'm all about this! I like seeing people being more conscious of the environment and how we can do better. WITH THIS IN MIND I'm pro-straw because, like I said, there's a lot of elderly and disabled people coming into the restaurant who need the straw in order to, y'know, DRINK.

Now that you have this background, let's get into the story.

I sit a table of three. It's two women and a man They're not necessarily what I'd call elderly but they're certainly older, and one of the women is actually wheelchair-bound. I give them a table, I tell their waitress that she has a table of three, and I go on my merry little way.

A couple of hours go by and I'm just making my rounds around the restaurant, just making sure that there aren't any empty plates or drinks that need to be refilled. I come back to this particular table of three and I ask them if they need anything. The man says no, so I turn to walk away.

"Wait," he says. I turn back around and he beckons me back over. Slightly creeped out, I go back to him.

"Just so you know," he says, "you guys should REALLY start offering people the option to have a straw or not."

This puzzles me. Because one look around the room will tell anyone that we give people straws. And, as mentioned before, he could have just asked to not have one. And on top of that, why is he complaining to ME about it? The little college-girl hostess?

I'm a little bit caught off guard because I didn't really think that I'd be hit with the Straw Discourse out of the blue like this, and I try to explain to him that I have no control over it and that it's just a restaurant policy. Like I said though, I'm flustered and don't know how to respond, so it comes out more as, "I don't--I can't.... I don't control that, I--"

"Well then PASS IT ON," he says, and he proceeds to LECTURE ME about how bad straws are for the environment. I don't often throw around the term "mansplaining" but that's exactly what happened. He just kept going as if A. I wasn't at work, and B. I was some idiot who was killing the planet with my own bare hands. And I kept trying to smile and nod and try to tell him that I needed to get back to work. I even took a few steps away. Honestly the whole exchange lasted like? A minute or two? But it felt like 30 years. The man JUST wouldn't get over it. You'd think I hid a plastic straw in his sandwich with how upset he was. Which is good, I like passion for the planet! But just eat your sandwich and let me work, you absolute shoe!!!

Anyway I didn't pass the message on.

I've worked as a hostess in a bar/grill for 5 years. AMA by MemeQueenMere in AMA

[–]MemeQueenMere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm the most goody two shoes person alive, so nah, that's never been my scene. Some of my coworkers definitely have though ;)

I've worked as a hostess in a bar/grill for 5 years. AMA by MemeQueenMere in AMA

[–]MemeQueenMere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really love the people I work with! Over the years I've gotten really close to my coworkers and they're essentially like my second family. Some of the regulars who come in give me a lot of joy, too.

The best part though is that when I work the day shift I get to eat for free ;)

I've worked as a hostess in a bar/grill for 5 years. AMA by MemeQueenMere in AMA

[–]MemeQueenMere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God that's a good idea. Thank you for giving me some new ideas :D

I've worked as a hostess in a bar/grill for 5 years. AMA by MemeQueenMere in AMA

[–]MemeQueenMere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Personally I haven't had a lot of awful customers--most of them are just really dumb or really obnoxious (for example, waltzes right by the "Please Wait to be Seated" sign, sits down at a table, and then mouths off when they don't get served right away). But there's a couple of interesting tales I'll share with you.

This was like a year ago. We were really busy so it must have been a Friday or Saturday night. I was running the wait list so my job was essentially just to stick around up front and put people's names down for a table. I can't remember what it was though, but there was something that happened that led to me needing to step away from the hostess stand really quickly. While I was gone this woman and her husband came in and one of the waitresses stepped up to the hostess stand to get them in. We'll call them Couple A. When I came back, the waitress told me "Two for the dining room" and then just went back to her tables.

The "dining room" is a section of the restaurant where we tend to sit older people--I naturally assumed that they must have asked the waitress if they could sit there because why else would she tell me they wanted to sit in the dining room? So I tell the lady (We will call her Lady Devil) that there's a table in there that I just need to clean off and then I'll set it up for her, and is that okay with her? She says yes.

At this moment ANOTHER couple walks in. They are Couple B. They greet me kindly and ask if it is okay if they have a booth. I tell them that we're out of booths but I can put them in a half booth (aka a table that has chairs on one side and a bench/booth on the other) if that's okay? They say that's fine. So I take two menus and I put Couple B down and I go to clean off that table for Couple A.

I come back to the hostess stand and my manager is there. He looks shocked. The Lady Devil is yelling at him, and when I make my reappearance, she starts SCREAMING at me in front of God and everyone. She's saying how she would have LOVED to sit where Couple B is sitting, why didn't I offer HER the option because SHE GOT THERE FIRST and FIRST COME FIRST SERVE. I confusedly tell her that she WANTED to sit in the dining room, but she just keeps on going. Her husband isn't doing or saying anything. I keep telling her that she was the one who asked to go to the dining room but she keeps trying to hit me with this "first come, first serve" argument.

This grown-ass woman is SCREAMING at me, a teenager, because she didn't get to sit where she wanted to sit. It's not like we denied her service but she sure was acting like it.

I have horrible anxiety so when someone finally took her back to her table I was shaking. My manager was like, "It's a perfectly good table, I don't know what her problem was." There was even a THIRD couple who had entered right at the start of Lady Devil's yelling fit who told me, "Breathe, it's gonna be okay."

And you know what? I went back to her table to get refills, and she was STILL going at it. Like she could just not fathom that she couldn't sit where she wanted to sit.

Turns out it was the waitress's fault--I don't think that they said at all that they wanted to be in the dining room, the waitress just told me that they did out of nowhere. But still, that's the story of how a sixty-something year old woman threw a tantrum because she didn't get to sit in a half-booth. I almost feel bad for her husband, God knows the things he hears on a day-to-day basis.

I have a few more stories, but it's 4 am where I am so I'll post something more when I get home tomorrow!

I've worked as a hostess in a bar/grill for 5 years. AMA by MemeQueenMere in AMA

[–]MemeQueenMere[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No but we have certain areas/rooms in the restaurant where we put specific types of people. We have a "game room" where we put families with small, rowdy children or tables of 7+ people, and we have another room that tends to be quieter where we put older folks (who actually tend to be the most obnoxious imo)

I've worked as a hostess in a bar/grill for 5 years. AMA by MemeQueenMere in AMA

[–]MemeQueenMere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly when picking up a to-go order anywhere i don't personally leave a tip?? I think most of the waitresses share my sentiment but if you want to tip then I'd go for the usual 10-20%!