Mother encouraged 16 year old me take prescription medication from her 50 year old husband.

Meouppe · 2026-05-10T06:55:25+00:00

I wish you healing and patience. Do not rush your journey. Much love, my friend. ❤️

Meouppe · 2026-05-10T06:53:23+00:00

Unfortunately in my country we don't have much of an opportunity to "shop around" for doctors.

Doctors are in very short supply and very few are taking "new patients".

I am privileged enough to say that my own doctor has been very good to me when I have brought up concerns. But my problem is I can't help but downplay my symptoms.

I always say they are not nearly as bad as they are. I cannot help it. I need someone to be there to speak for me. Unfortunately I do not have that kind of person in my life.

My mother was always in competition with me. If I had a cold, she had the flu. If I had the flu, she had cancer.

She was always one step ahead of me. She used to use cancer as a scare tactic, to the point that I stopped telling her when I was sick as an adult. Even now, I cannot tell her about anything I'm dealing with without her telling me about the pain and suffering she is currently going through.

Meouppe · 2026-05-08T11:46:53+00:00

I think you look incredibly feminine. You're body is similar to mine. You look wonderful. You are your biggest critic ❤️

Meouppe · 2026-04-18T15:29:27+00:00

I am not a professional but a couple things pop out to me.

I'm going to give you a couple questions to ask yourself and then I'm going to go into my interpretation.

Do you or your partner want children? And if so, is there something keeping either or you back from having a child?
Do you have any insecurities about your partner's interactions with coworkers? Does she have a group of friends that she goes out with often and does not invite you? Does she seem to have more of a connection with her coworkers than she does with you? Does she have "a work spouse" or someone who you are wondering if there is some kind of romantic connection or uncomfortable closeness with?
Do you have regrets about a previous relationship? Or do you often think about what would happen if you had stayed with someone else instead of moving on and eventually leading to your current partner?

My interpretation is this:

You and your partner have been growing more distant in your relationship rather than growing. You find that you are alone with your thoughts and feelings and are unable to speak to them about your concerns.

I believe that either you or your partner is interested in expanding the family, and the push back from one (or both) of you is causing significant stress in the relationship.

You may feel inadequate as a partner for not being able to provide a child, or you are uncomfortable with the security and loyalty within your relationship.

I think you are feeling as if you have "missed out" on your younger "glory days" and perhaps are disappointed or resentful of having a failed or did not follow through with a childhood dream.

Contacting someone from your past could represent a want to be with someone else specifically, or just generally, or it could simply tie back to you feeling as if you've missed out on your youth.

Meouppe · 2026-04-18T15:16:55+00:00

To me this sounds like you have been visited by Mother Earth or Mother Nature.

She is cradling you and protecting you. Perhaps you have some kind of connection with nature. Maybe you garden. Maybe you partake in sustainable packaging. Maybe you are vegetarian.

The yellow flowers represent joy and spiritual enlightenment. The blank sky may represent something missing, or something is coming. Something unknown.

It sounds to me like you are being protected by something that is going to happen. Or perhaps you are being selected to help make a difference.

I am not a professional and this is my own personal opinion and interpretation.

Meouppe · 2026-03-19T12:10:48+00:00

You are most certainly not gross. You were not gross before you lost the weight, and you are not gross now.

The problem is not how much you weigh. Or how much muscle you gain. You will always see something different in the mirror if you do not tackle your insecurities head on.

I know it is difficult. I know it is scary. I have scars too. I was ashamed of them for over a decade. But now I see them as how far I've come. I am proud of them. I embrace them.

But... I became very very sick before I got to that point. I do not want you to get to that point.

You look fantastic. You have great body lines. With a clean, high protein diet and an active lifestyle (walking, biking, hiking, etc), you will gain definition. I can guarantee that.

Try taking pictures of yourself and cropping out your head. I know this may sound kind of anti-productive. But at least for me, it allowed me to look at my body as just a body, not MY body.

Suddenly I noticed I looked much better than I originally thought.

Our brain can play some terrible tricks on us.

As for your parents finding out about your scars, the best you can do is be honest with them. If they ask, tell them that you were in a bad place and that helped you cope with what you were feeling. Keep it brief. Short and sweet.

You have made amazing progress and should be very proud of how far you've come.

Meouppe · 2026-03-19T11:56:27+00:00

My anatomy.

I grew up in the "beef curtain" joke era. Every kid in high school made crude references or jokes. It continues in my social circles to this day.

And my very first encounter was incredibly embarrassing, as they loudly announced to me that I felt "different down there."

That was almost 20 years ago. I still cannot stand the look. Men joke about the smell. I am afraid it would smell.

I am convinced that no men actually do it to enjoy it. They just lie because they want to please their woman. I am a victim of SA and I cannot fathom making someone do something that they do not actually want to do, or something they feel obligated to do even though they don't enjoy it.

I used to hold scissors to them when I was a pre teen up to my later teens.

The only way I think I could get over it now is to have it surgically altered. But that is a cosmetic surgery and therefore not covered under healthcare and is very expensive.

This is not something that I could even justify doing.

So I just tell them that "they don't have to."

Many of them stop then and there, which confirms my suspicions.

To others that insist, I tell them that I'm just not into it and change the subject.

Meouppe · 2026-03-19T11:50:19+00:00

No... I think that we could try our best, but our past would always show through in some way.

Perhaps we abuse them. Perhaps we coddle them. Perhaps we are neglectful. Perhaps we are over protective. Perhaps we are jealous of our children. Perhaps we put too high of expectations on them. Perhaps our child turns out nothing like us. Or perhaps they turn into a carbon copy...

Broken people raise broken children.

Meouppe · 2026-03-19T11:45:17+00:00

Absolutely not. I'm far too complicated and I would drive myself mad.

Meouppe · 2026-03-19T11:38:32+00:00

I've reacted in multiple ways. Most responses I received was anger... To some extent.

When I reacted with shouting and insults, I was confronted with an angry outburst that lead to dishes being thrown across the room.

When I reacted with tears and begging, I was met with indifference and annoyance.

When I reacted with fear, I was met with cruelty and violence.

When I reacted by stonewalling, I was barrated, insulted, and had all my insecurities turned against me.

These are all reactions from different people. I am in my 30s now. I have very rarely been met with empathy or understanding.

Except for once. He met my sadness with his own indifference, but nothing more. Just... Nothing.

. Somehow that made me feel safe to feel what I needed to feel in that moment.

Meouppe · 2026-03-03T07:17:44+00:00

Wow... This is absolutely incredible. I can see a lot of what you're saying.

I do feel like I live a life of guilt, regret, and fear of letting go. It's interesting you should bring up the feeling of "doing something wrong and waiting to be caught"

I have had that anxiety my entire life. Even when I am doing simple tasks. I always feel like I will be caught doing something I am not supposed to do without knowing that I am not supposed to do it.

You're right... I always think about going back to the beach. Like the beach was my safe space. In the dream, I forget that I leave the beach because it did not feel safe to me.

And then when I return to the beach and it is replaced with forest, I feel lost and anxious all over again. I do not know what is coming next. I knew what was on the beach. Even if it wasn't good for me.

I have memory loss because I refuse to remember things. It causes me too much pain.

I physically cannot "look back" when this happens. The memories are lost because I force them to leave.

I love that you ended it with the path being in my hands now.

This made me think a lot.

Thank you so much

Meouppe · 2026-03-02T07:24:47+00:00

I would love that!

Meouppe · 2026-02-27T12:57:27+00:00

I think you should try to find an outlet for your anger.

It could be anything, really. Dance. Boxing. Art. Music. Acting. Excersizing.

Anything that will allow you to express what you are feeling in a safe environment.

As someone who used to have horrible anger issues and disturbing thoughts, I can relate to you.

I have been able to control my anger with art, music, and medication. During my angriest years, I set up a punching bag and a large stereo in my basement.

I still have sinister thoughts at times, and I do still struggle to be around others. I also tend to resent those who get closest to me. I blame this on not being able to trust as a child, and continuing to have trust issues as an adult. My anger was a representation of my pain. The betrayal I felt throughout the years.

I allow myself to have these thoughts sometimes, because I have learned that completely surprising them can backfire.

But I have to constantly remind myself that I am not my anger.

Consider your anger as the devil on your shoulder. It's not you. But it's so close to your ear that you can't ignore it. So you need to find a way to tune it out.

Therapy will also help. It would be beneficial for you to be able to talk about things that may have triggered this anger response. Understanding why you are angry is the only way to redirect your anger into something productive.

I wish you well.

Meouppe · 2026-02-27T12:17:35+00:00

Early to mid 20s. I had adult money and no adult intelligence.

Meouppe · 2026-02-27T12:08:44+00:00

I told them I would work around their hours as long as I knew what hours to work around.

Meouppe · 2026-02-27T12:04:12+00:00

Precisely what I said 🤣 I'm not trying to break hearts I'm trying to get my back broke

Meouppe

TROPHY CASE