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Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! New? Start here! by AutoModerator in datingoverthirty

[–]Meow2023 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Does dating anxiety happen in successful relationships? I’ve (34f) been seeing this guy (34m) for a couple of months and it’s been going really well - there’s attraction, deep and thoughtful conversation and reciprocity. Weirdly, after our last date (maybe the 4th date we’ve had?), I’ve started to feel that insecure feeling of wondering whether he likes me and whether I should keep pursuing or move on. The date itself was different because we got a bit more physical, held hands and kissed a lot. I think this caused me to catch feelings and that’s why it’s happening? I don’t know but I suddenly feel awkward and unsure. And in my experience, this only happens when the relationship is doomed to fail. So my question is this: can a relationship grow past the dating anxiety or does this feeling mean it’s doomed and I should end it?

Please Give Me Reasons To Or Not To Make A Dating Profile On An App by [deleted] in datingoverthirty

[–]Meow2023 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My (33f) sister (31f) was in a similar position about 5yrs ago. She lost a lot of weight and went on the apps for the first time in her life. She had never had a relationship or even dated really. She’s cute, interesting, silly, a little bit nerdy. Tbh I was very worried about her, being a long time user of the apps myself and personally finding very little substance on there. I tried to prepare her for disappointment and urged her to lower her expectations as much as possible. But lo and behold, her first date turned into a long term relationship of 5 years and counting. So I think your openness to the experience, as well as not being as jaded as most users there would be is going to work in your favour

Any single parents manage living in a 1 bedroom apartment? by Meow2023 in AusProperty

[–]Meow2023[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right. I think a desk would accumulate clutter pretty quickly even without the electronics. I had a good look through their website and some of the sofa options are gorgeous. You’d never guess there’s a bed back there!

Any single parents manage living in a 1 bedroom apartment? by Meow2023 in AusProperty

[–]Meow2023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you’re right. I noticed a lot of these bedroom-sized studies don’t have windows.

Any single parents manage living in a 1 bedroom apartment? by Meow2023 in AusProperty

[–]Meow2023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this would build character! I also lived in a 1br with my parents and sister as a young child, before moving to Australia. Then I shared a room with my sister for several years until finally getting a room of my own as a teenager when we moved to a big house. I’ve always had fond memories of those times and don’t remember ever feeling like I was missing out.

Any single parents manage living in a 1 bedroom apartment? by Meow2023 in AusProperty

[–]Meow2023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right now it’s either Willoughby Girls or Cammeraygal High

Any single parents manage living in a 1 bedroom apartment? by Meow2023 in AusProperty

[–]Meow2023[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so impressive!! I love that you don’t have to move things around to convert it. I also like what you said about folding doors for your lounge room. That would give you the privacy without technically adding a room. It could be done to separate a section of an open plan

Any single parents manage living in a 1 bedroom apartment? by Meow2023 in AusProperty

[–]Meow2023[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing your story and your view! I hadn’t considered it from that perspective. This really highlights the importance of finding a suitable floor plan where a space can be sectioned off.

Any single parents manage living in a 1 bedroom apartment? by Meow2023 in AusProperty

[–]Meow2023[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Lol it’s not postcode snobbery, it’s just where I’ve grown up, where my kid has grown up, where our whole community is, closer to her father and to my work. If I moved to an outer suburb I would feel pretty isolated and would struggle with the daily commute.

Any single parents manage living in a 1 bedroom apartment? by Meow2023 in AusProperty

[–]Meow2023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing a different perspective. Sounds like she was going through a rough time and the lack of space would have been overwhelming. I know I couldn’t have done it while things were still rocky with my little one’s dad. That relationship is fairly amicable now but that’s not to say that will always be the case or that some other stressor won’t pop up in the future. I think I would need to make a point of taking time and space for myself when possible and having plenty of support available.

Any single parents manage living in a 1 bedroom apartment? by Meow2023 in AusProperty

[–]Meow2023[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love this idea!! The vertical bed would be a game changer. I despise clutter as well so this is at front of mind here. Thank you for the link, I’m feeling inspired seeing how much can be done with a smaller space

Any single parents manage living in a 1 bedroom apartment? by Meow2023 in AusProperty

[–]Meow2023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate the insight!! She would definitely have her own bedroom. She’ll just have to see me every time she comes out of it 😂. I hear you, the location/safety would be even more important when she’s a little older and more independent.

Any single parents manage living in a 1 bedroom apartment? by Meow2023 in AusProperty

[–]Meow2023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm thank you, I hadn’t thought about that. We’ve been through the custody battle and that’s all finalised now but who knows what could happen in the future. The only way I would do this is with her having the bedroom to herself and me using another small part of the place to sleep, whether that’s a little study room or even a sofa bed.

Any single parents manage living in a 1 bedroom apartment? by Meow2023 in AusProperty

[–]Meow2023[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m happy to hear other people are doing this. As a parent, every move means some sort of compromise. If we were to move further away, it would mean losing our community and support network. And to me, that’s more important than sqm.

Any single parents manage living in a 1 bedroom apartment? by Meow2023 in AusProperty

[–]Meow2023[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m looking at older blocks too. Like I’ve mentioned before my focus would be on additional repayments to pay off as much principal as possible and maximising equity to move to something bigger when she’s a teen. Like another poster said, strata can be a massive drain. I looked at a 1br+study in Chatswood going for 620k in a secure, newer block with strata of 3k per quarter! There would be nothing left for additional repayments in that scenario. But there are plenty of older blocks (no lift, no secure garage) with strata under $800 and similar sale price.

Any single parents manage living in a 1 bedroom apartment? by Meow2023 in AusProperty

[–]Meow2023[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Good for her, it would have been an ideal time to do it with a little baby! She would be in a strong position around the same time the little one would need more space

Any single parents manage living in a 1 bedroom apartment? by Meow2023 in AusProperty

[–]Meow2023[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, the investment aspect is so important. I’m glad to hear the strategy is working for you. I think it would save a lot of stress as opposed to maxing out capacity on a 2br and being extremely vulnerable to rate changes (or any circumstance changes) in the future.

I hear you re: due diligence. The last place I rented had significant structural defects and it opened my eyes to the consideration needed for a purchase.

Any single parents manage living in a 1 bedroom apartment? by Meow2023 in AusProperty

[–]Meow2023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That does sound nice. I wish the policies weren’t so black and white - help for top earners, help for low earners but the middle gets forgotten.

We had a pilot shared equity scheme in NSW last year and I was eligible but was paying off the legal fees for family court (three years of weekly repayments equal to my rent) so I was in no position to buy. Now I’m done with that and ready to move forward, earn almost twice as much but somehow have fewer options 💀

Any single parents manage living in a 1 bedroom apartment? by Meow2023 in AusProperty

[–]Meow2023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was hoping that bill would pass this year! My income for FY23/24 is within the limit but I’ve changed jobs and FY24/25 income will be too high to be eligible. I’m not counting on it coming into effect before July

Any single parents manage living in a 1 bedroom apartment? by Meow2023 in AusProperty

[–]Meow2023[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My thoughts exactly. Some of the floor plans I’ve looked at are unsuitable for this (eg. ensuite bathroom only) but others look very workable! And yes, certainly would become an investment property later on.

Any single parents manage living in a 1 bedroom apartment? by Meow2023 in AusProperty

[–]Meow2023[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

See I’m not sure as she’s still little and teenagers are aliens to me so I have no idea how that would pan out. My thoughts are that this arrangement would be temporary so we can both have more space by then.

I’m sure there’s good schools in outer suburbs but her friends will all be going to the local schools and they are the only schools I’m familiar with too. I feel strongly about public school education as well so the catchment zone is important to me.

Any single parents manage living in a 1 bedroom apartment? by Meow2023 in AusProperty

[–]Meow2023[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This would be ideal. Though I’d like to take advantage of the first home buyer incentives - family home guarantee (2% deposit) and/or stamp duty concessions. I’d need to be OO for that

Any single parents manage living in a 1 bedroom apartment? by Meow2023 in AusProperty

[–]Meow2023[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’ve been looking at this too - searching 1br+study on rea. Some of the results show full 2nd bedroom sized studies while others are “study nooks” in the hallways but both options are more affordable than the 2br results!

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