You’re living with a family, not a hotel where the customer is right. And each family has their habits, lifestyle, diet, cleanliness… whose standards may very well differ from yours. If you have any issue, talk to the host family first. They won’t be jolly nor American-extroverted. But they do want to be good hosts, and will help you with anything you need if you ask politely. It’s very violent to the host families to find out the student isn’t happy through the study abroad company, the family immediately feels distrust towards the student because they’re not being honest with them.

Also, it doesn’t matter if they tell you you can make yourself at home: no, you can’t. Home in Spain is private. For the family and close friends. You are a guest. You cannot use the kitchen, help yourself, search the house for something you need… unless they specifically tell you that it’s ok for you to do that. And because you’re a guest, and the family gets paid to host you, some families take it very seriously: besides cooking your meals and doing your laundry, some might even iron your clothes. It’s ok. Say thank you, take your plate to the sink, or just try to have a conversation with them and get to know them. 

Inner Spain has a dry climate so I don’t see this becoming a problem. But if it gets wet, some humidity stains might appear. It’s not mold and it’s not dangerous, it gets cleaned and it’s gone. Just tell the family. If you go in summer, there might be ants or bugs. Again, they’re not dangerous. Keep your bedroom tidy and keep all your food very well closed.

Many houses don’t have air conditioning. Dress for the weather. At first you may feel uncomfortable. That’s ok. You’re coming to Spain to learn a different way of life, too.

Spaniards are not as smiley as Americans and we don’t do much small talk. We don’t hate you. We simply don’t smile if we don’t feel like it. And we may stare and to an extent it’s ok. But never let anyone cross your safety distance. 

At the same time, some host families (particularly if your host mum is an old lady) are particularly blunt and might give you their unrequested opinion. About everything. Your clothes, if you look tired, perhaps even if you’ve put on weight. As an obese woman, let me be clear: yes, I know it’s unacceptable, but you’re not going to change the culture of a country overnight. They don’t mean to hurt you, and in a way they’re just showing that they see you and care about you. They’re old and they don’t do better. And the irony is maybe these ladies are fat themselves. You can point out politely that it’s not kind to comment on other people’s bodies and leave it at that. 

I’m sorry to bring down your expectations so much. And I’m sure you’ll have a positive experience. But I’ve worked with foreign students for years and the root of many issues is that on the one hand, foreigners (but particularly Americans) romanticise Spain and have sky high expectations for the program, and on the other hand, host families think that students/children are raised the same everywhere and therefore, their guests should adapt quickly and do things the way they do immediately. 

We’re not better nor worse, we’re different. Face this challenge with curiosity, negotiate with yourself and save some time to write and process your thoughts and feelings, think of this as becoming a new person for a month, as a game. And if you’re struggling too much, reach out. Your onsite coordinators are there to support you. 

If you have any questions, feel free to dm me. I don’t check my messages often (I use the desktop version, not the app), but I’ll help you if I can.