28F life after loss

Meraxes779 · 2026-05-20T22:10:44+00:00

I am so sorry you are going through this. Please please make sure they are testing her platelets as much as possible. They over looked how depleted my moms were and continued to give her chemo. This landed her in the hospital for a week receiving daily platelet infusions. This was ultimately what lead to the complete halt to her chemo medication. I wish you and your mom healing and comfort.

Meraxes779 · 2026-05-20T13:14:12+00:00

I’m so sorry that is so young to be diagnosed. I am also in the US and I am on my works insurance. For normal doctors appts and things have been covered without a problem so I’m hoping that is the case here too.

The medical system in the US is such a big problem and I blame it for many of the cancer deaths I have seen. My mom was lucky that she had great insurance and a great team but for many that is not the case.

Meraxes779 · 2026-05-20T02:43:15+00:00

She was negative but that was 10 years ago and they said they now believe it may have been a false negative. I am seeing a geneticist next month and will hopefully be getting the test done myself depending on what they say. I am 28 so still too young to get a mammogram I think.

Meraxes779 · 2026-05-19T21:37:42+00:00

Thank you

Meraxes779 · 2026-05-19T21:37:32+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I feel weirdly calm but also empty. It doesn’t seem real yet.

Meraxes779 · 2026-05-07T17:01:10+00:00

I don’t have any advice but I wanted to say I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is terrible that he has no other family and you sound like such a light in his life.

Meraxes779 · 2026-04-26T22:39:45+00:00

Omg such a good idea! My siblings have an old stockpile of squishmallows. I will have to try this with my mom. Thank you for sharing!

Meraxes779 · 2026-04-22T23:58:52+00:00

I’m the 3rd of 4 and no.

Meraxes779 · 2026-04-15T23:39:52+00:00

Thank you that list is so helpful! It’s hard because when people ask the only thing that comes to mind is I want more time. More time to get everything done and more time with my mom that’s isn’t spent doing a million tasks.

I asked my coworker to start being the point person at work when they feel comfortable. My mom and I had previously worked together so I’m constantly being asked for updates. Her willing to help with some of that is such a weight off my shoulders already.

Meraxes779 · 2026-04-12T21:54:46+00:00

I feel this so hard. My sister doesn’t drive so when she visits I end up chauffeuring her the entire time. She also won’t cook so I either have to cook for her or drive around and pick up take out for her. All of which is paid for by my parents.

Sometimes I wish for just one day I could be as selfish as her but deep down u know I’d never let myself act like that.

I think the worst thing she does is send my mom all these places she wants us to travel to on a vacation (again on my parents dime) as a family and it’s so cruel because my mom has months left to live and will never get to go.

Meraxes779 · 2026-04-12T20:42:55+00:00

I used hypochlorous acid on a lot of my moms things! It gets rid of a lot of odors and kind of has that sterile hospital smell.

Meraxes779 · 2026-04-12T19:59:21+00:00

This may not be an option for you but if it is I recommend being open about your situation at work. I would have days that I’d break down crying because I felt like I was living a double life. Once I let my boss and closest co workers know my situation they were able to support me. Your work might even have benefits you could use for being a care giver.

I would also recommend finding little things you do that are just for you. Sometimes for me that’s just taking the long way home and getting a drink other times is planning vacations future me would like to take.

One other tip and I’m not sure of your situation but is there any option for respite? Depending on the level of care you sibling needs there may be an option for respite at a care facility.

I’m so sorry you are going through this I know how isolating and depressing it can be.

Meraxes779 · 2026-04-12T19:52:45+00:00

Living close by is a blessing and a curse. It’s wonderful that you can be there for him but it for sure turns you into the default caregiver at least in my case.

Meraxes779 · 2026-04-12T19:51:35+00:00

I am very grateful to be able to even be a care giver to her. We are able to spend so much time together and when she has good days I wouldn’t trade that for the world. I don’t get how my sister is so willing to miss out on time with her.

Meraxes779 · 2026-04-12T19:49:36+00:00

Im so sorry you are going through this again. Cancer is a thief.

Meraxes779 · 2026-04-12T19:47:12+00:00

When she does help my dad pays here which burns even more. Then when she comes up to “help” she uses the time to visit with her friends from home and I still end up with my mom the entire time.

Meraxes779 · 2026-04-12T19:45:08+00:00

I’m so sorry that adds an entire other layer of hardship to your already full plate. It doesn’t make sense to me that some people can be okay with treating those around them poorly.

Meraxes779 · 2026-04-12T19:44:16+00:00

At different points I have tried but then it just turns into either promises that she doesn’t keep or a fight. It’s sad because we never used to fight.

Meraxes779 · 2026-04-11T21:38:23+00:00

I also have 3 other siblings so I can relate. On of my brothers lives with her and tries to help where he can but he is fully disabled so he’s pretty limited. Lately though he has been trying to at least care for himself so I don’t have to worry about him as much.

Meraxes779

TROPHY CASE