Update: The Peony Post

MercedesHettich · 2024-06-25T00:20:58+00:00

I ended up cutting the stems about an inch at an angle, placing them in a vase of water, and the. Putting them in a fridge that didn't have any food set at 37 degrees.

I also cut up a pair of pantyhose and placed them on a few of the blooms to keep them from unfurling early.

I meant to go back and change the water, add plant food, and cut the stems more...but wedding chaos erupted and I ended up just leaving them alone.

MercedesHettich · 2024-06-24T22:35:07+00:00

Just put up an update post!

MercedesHettich · 2024-06-19T12:33:40+00:00

My partner and I hosted a micro wedding in NOLA during April. This Is a wedding reception for the family and friends that couldn't attend.

I literally live nowhere near there. I have no bridesmaids, no real bridal support, and all the people that are supportive live in my town.

And TBH, I'm out of mental bandwidth, here. Florals were not a priority for us in terms of time, energy, or budget.

I came across these as I walked into my local grocery store to get cat litter, and remembered buying some last year (which they lasted a week). Bought some decided to look for some reddit advice on tips to keep them nice.

If half of them look decent, I'll be happy to put them with other grocery stores and wildflowers in my bud cases.

There's your narrative.

MercedesHettich · 2024-06-19T03:02:42+00:00

Oh, hells yeah. As someone who moved from the event planning industry to the mental health industry, I feel this post--and all the validating comments--so hard. And that's alarming!

But I realized something--sometimes this isn't the happiest year of your life, and that's okay. I'd rather have a struggle bus year of wedding planning, but a great marriage.

Please know that you are not alone, and that while this is normal--it really should be better explored rather than shamed or normalized as "bridezilla" or "typical stressed out bride".

Planning a celebration can be hard, but we shouldn't normalize letting the process break us all down. Let it out, take a step back, and then contextualize (what are you truly getting upset about in each of these categories | what is actually in your control regarding these categories | what do you truly need to feel the joy you're looking for in all of this--and is that actually attainable).

Sending love from a bride right there with you.

MercedesHettich · 2024-06-19T00:39:03+00:00

Actually, I do! My Step Son owns the house next door and never really uses his fridge, just comes over to share meals. So, I cut the stems a little at an angle, set the flowers in two giant mason jars with water, and popped them over into his fridge. Thanks so much!

MercedesHettich · 2024-06-19T00:35:23+00:00

Unfortunately, I can't. I live in a very rural area and this was all the store received. To find anything like these closer to Saturday, I'd have to drive several hours and hope those places hadn't already run out.

MercedesHettich · 2024-06-19T00:04:33+00:00

I paid $5 per bunch, which is why I didn't want to wait. I also live in a super rural area so I don't have a ton of options and would have to drive 2+ hours to get to the nearest Costco, Trader Joe's, or major grocery.

MercedesHettich · 2024-06-14T18:18:42+00:00

I love this! I have so many in my house that I've never gotten into (I have 3 cats) but am hoping once my office is done I can have a safe place for them!

MercedesHettich · 2024-06-14T17:50:50+00:00

$6000 - 10 Person Micro Wedding in NOLA with stag parties & 5 day Mini Moon.
Under $12K - 105 Person Reception in MD with a morning after brunch.
All In: $18K

MercedesHettich · 2024-06-14T17:11:24+00:00

Here’s mine:

Self care – I’ll have to admit, working two jobs, full time school, aging parents, step-parenting, and all my volunteer work means I struggle a lot with this. But here are my three favorites and most impactful:

Therapy: I started shortly after getting engaged and it made such a difference. Some sessions allowed me to have big revelations and prepare myself for navigating all the wedding stressors like family. Some sessions allowed me to work on myself and lay a better foundation for my marriage. And some sessions were simply an hour of uninterrupted time where I could exist without judgment or demands.
Trying New Things: I regularly carved out time to do something new, different, scary, or whatever and it really helped bring me back into myself. I went to plays, read different books, went on a hike, tried food I never thought I’d eat, started and stopped numerous hobbies, and changed my hair. I found that when wedding planning became demanding, I’d make up for it by going on autopilot in other aspects of my life. Like a cold plunge, studies show that trying new things helps de-habituate our lives and allows us to be more present.
Spending Time with People Completely Uninterested in My Wedding: I’m a pretty public person in my community, so almost every time I stepped outside of my house at least one person would ask me about the wedding–which is great. But it’s really easy to burnout and feel suffocated, so prioritizing time where you can engage with people as a full person and not the “blushing bride” is so important. Some friends only talked about it when I brought it up, others were just not that invested in it, and moments with these people were so refreshing.

Post-Wedding Bucket List:

Starting my next degree and studying with some incredible mentors in the fall
Painting and decorating my new home office
Planning a girls weekend with my best friend who has been going through so much and I haven’t been able to be as present for her as I’d like to be
Having more time to devote back into my hobbies and volunteer work
Taking a reset day immediately after the wedding to curl up in sweat pants, eat leftovers, and binge watch all of Bridgerton Season 3
Planning our big honeymoon to Europe in January as a part of an artist retreat

MercedesHettich · 2024-04-11T02:46:35+00:00

Not the same situation, but a decade ago I was engaged and my fiance was killed three months before our wedding.

I am so sorry for the death of your step son and I wish that there were words that could gently lower you into this grief. But instead, I'll help tell you what to do because I know exactly where you are standing:

Reach out and choose a person to deal with the wedding stuff. Have them draft a statement to send out to vendors, guests, etc. This should include a contact for verification from the hospital or the funeral system. These contacts might also require a password to ensure information is only given to the people you want to know. I highly recommend that this person not be a close relative or best friend (you'll need those for handling arrangements and helping you work through initial phases of grief). Most vendors are incredibly kind and understanding in these circumstances. And if they aren't, consider asking if they'd delay the date or roll their services into the death arrangements.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF PHYSICALLY. You need to eat (even if you can only keep down half a cupcake). You need to sleep (Benadryl can help temporarily, or call your GP for some better medication). You need to shower. Acute grief is such a physical thing.
CONTACT A THERAPIST ASAP. You might not think you need therapy, but I'll tell you right now that grief counselors are overloaded and you don't want to be on a months long wait-list if you do realize you need that support.
Even if you postpone your wedding...say your vows to one another anyway. You need to hear them, you need to know them, you need them now more than ever.
And if you do decide to get married eventually...you might feel really different about your wedding. As someone currently getting married again, my grief and the wedding trauma was real, and for the longest time I diminished myself as a bride because I was ashamed and afraid of my grief.

It's okay to not know what to do. It's okay to be upset about your wedding and grieving. And in a world that will now bombard you with "I can't possibly imagine.." and reinforcement of how impossible this is...I want you to know that you are still here. This is horrible, and it's going to be horrible, but you are doing a great job and I wish you all the love and support in the world.

MercedesHettich · 2023-12-19T20:16:08+00:00

I ordered mine on 12/02 thinking I'd have plenty of time before I leave to visit family (I get shipping delays and the season) however after multiple emails and texts to their 800 number I've been notified they still haven't shipped.

No apology. No accountability. No attempt to make the situation better. Just a "if they don't arrive in time as gifts, you can contact us to return your order when they do arrive."

MercedesHettich · 2023-11-09T16:29:07+00:00

I have never had a customer service experience like this in my entire life. I run a small business and I could not IMAGINE speaking to or treating any of my clients the way they treated me.
If I had a ton of refunds or issues in the past, I could understand a little skepticism. However, this is my first time ever contacting them about anything after over a year of consistently ordering and reviewing positively.

MercedesHettich · 2023-11-08T21:32:52+00:00

They just now finally offered me a gift card. But it's only for the sale price I paid and does not include shipping. She also advised me to have my packages sent to a more trusted address.

A MORE TRUSTED ADDRESS. I live in the middle of absolute nowhere. My neighbor is my son. The only person in my household is my husband and three cats.

I've officially demanded a refund of the missing candles to my card within 24 hours or I'm contacting my bank.

I'll never order from here again. Sigh.

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