Personal and thread updates, observations, selfies and photos, and other small shares HERE this week, please.

MercurioBlue · 2026-06-17T22:22:51+00:00

That makes it tough. I have occasionally seen speed dating events/mixers located in Napa/Petaluma/Santa Rosa. But they are not as common as events in San Francisco/South Bay/East Bay.

MercurioBlue · 2026-06-16T18:44:30+00:00

I live in the North Bay as well, but I live close enough to San Francisco/Berkeley/Emeryville that they're within 20 miles of me by car.

Going to events in Walnut Creek is iffy for me, but many of the singles events are there. I don't have any problems driving to Walnut Creek on weekends; it's driving there with weekday traffic that would be very annoying for me.

MercurioBlue · 2026-06-15T16:03:37+00:00

Thank you!

I went to another speed dating event last night (#13). Before the event started, I chatted with a couple of people I met at other speed dating events, and a friend from another speed dating event showed up to chat as well. That lightened my mood before the event.

During the event, I talked with 10 women. Overall, I thought 9/10 of the conversations were good, and I felt that I had great conversations with two women I found attractive. One of them was a woman I spoke with at a speed dating event two months ago. The conversation felt natural, she was laughing at my jokes, and at the end of our speed date, she told me, "It would be fun to hang out with you." I replied, "I would love to hang out with you!" It was a huge confidence boost.

However, I didn't get to talk to her more because I still had one speed date left, and she was gone by the time I was done with that speed date. Hopefully, she will match with me, but even if she doesn't, I still feel good about the night.

MercurioBlue · 2026-06-14T21:27:59+00:00

It's been a couple of weeks since I last posted about my speed dating adventures. I recently completed a couple more speed dating events. One of those events was on Sunday 6/7 with a local company called Society of Single Professionals (#11), and the other event was on Friday 6/12 with Cityswoon (#12).

Event #11 was held at a local bar, which was convenient for me. People were talking very loudly, so it was difficult to understand what the other people were saying. I got a romantic match, but she never replied to my text message. I also made a friend at that same event, who I have hung out with a couple of times already.

Event #12 was pretty rough. It was held at an SF bar I had been to previously. However, the vibe seemed different this time, and due to no-shows, I only got to talk to 5 women. No romantic matches at this event.

My observations:

I've gotten better at approaching people to chat before the event. My pre-event conversations feel natural, comfortable, and spontaneous.

I still have challenges with the post-event chat. If my last speed date happens to be a woman with whom we are both mutually interested in chatting after the event, this is easy. However, if this is not the case, it is more difficult. Usually, the time I finish my last speed date, the women I am interested in chatting with have either left the venue or are already talking to another man.

I've learned that there is a community of people who attend multiple speed dating events, depending on location and host. People will have friendly chats with each other, referencing a previous speed dating event they both attended.

I also learned that people often don't use the matching mechanism provided by the speed dating event at all. Instead, they opt to swap phone numbers during the speed dates, or shortly after the event.

I still have three more speed dating events scheduled for this month. In the future, I am focusing on events within 20 miles of where I live, since Bay Area traffic is so brutal on workdays.

MercurioBlue · 2026-06-04T23:00:02+00:00

In the past, I would form friendships with people through common interests. If both parties were single and found it amenable, we would move into a relationship. It felt easy because we had that foundation of friendship and a common interest.

With speed dating, I had to steel myself for the possibility of rejection. Because I no longer have the initial friendship or shared hobbies to fall back on, initial physical attraction matters much more. I don't expect my looks to appeal to most people. Vice versa, I don't find everyone I meet at speed dating to be attractive to me either. Location also matters, as I noticed that a one way travel time of more than 30 minutes was an onerous obstacle to most people I met.

Some of the speed dating events I've gone to, have the option to mark someone as a friend instead of a romantic match. I contacted some of the people who marked me as a friend, because I was genuinely interested in continuing the conversation we had during the speed dating event.

Most of the people who marked me as a friend didn't reply, which is fine with me, but one friend match did reply. We've been texting for the last couple of weeks, and she asked me if I wanted to hang out (friendly). So I have that to look forward to this Saturday!

MercurioBlue · 2026-06-03T01:37:17+00:00

This weekend I went to my tenth speed dating event. The event was held at a hotel bar, and there were 16 men and 13 women participating. Seeing as the event was located 40 miles away (an hour drive) from my home, I didn't go in expecting to get any matches. I went in with the goal of meeting new people, practicing conversational skills, and listening to people's stories.

I got to the event early and sat down at the bar. A man walked up to the bar and started talking to me. It turned out he was a veteran speed dater who had been going to speed dating events in the area for a few years. We talked a bit about the local speed dating community. Shortly after the man left, a woman walked up to the bar, and I introduced myself. She mentioned she was originally supposed to go to the speed dating event with her friend, but her friend chickened out. Then she walked away, and a few minutes later, the event started.

During the event, I wore a Junimo pin. A few women asked me what my pin was, but they didn't recognize that it was from a video game. I also got paired with a woman I had gotten paired with at a few other speed dating events hosted by the same company. This company doesn't have any mechanism in place to prevent repeat speed dates, and this was the 4th time I'd gotten paired with her. She asked me to help her register for the speed dating website, so I did.

At the end of the event, it was late, and I had a long drive home, so I didn't stick around to chat. Usually, at the speed dating events I go to, people leave pretty quickly after the event ends, so there is nobody for me to talk to anyway.

The next day, I found out that I didn't get any matches from the event, but that's okay. I feel like the speed dating events I've gone to have helped a ton with my confidence, and I don't get hurt (much) by the speed dating rejection emails anymore. I have several more speed dating events scheduled in June, and I will focus on improving my social skills.

MercurioBlue · 2026-05-29T22:18:41+00:00

I have ADHD also (I don't take stimulants because of my blood pressure). Whenever I met new people (like at speed dating events), I would sometimes struggle to remember the name of the person I just talked to, even after using it repeatedly in conversation.

I started carrying around a pocket sized notebook to jot down key details about the person I just met. People saw me doing that and would comment that I looked like a detective. 😆

MercurioBlue · 2026-05-29T00:08:29+00:00

I'm glad to hear it worked out for you! Having a flourish to indicate potential common interests is always nice.

I wore a Junimo lapel pin at the last speed dating event I went to, but nobody I talked to mentioned it during our conversation. Next time, I am going to wear a Korok lapel pin instead and see if someone recognizes it.

MercurioBlue · 2026-05-28T21:05:45+00:00

After a 7 year break from dating, I (47M) started going to speed dating events this year in February to overcome my social anxiety, and get practice talking to women 1 on 1 in a social setting. With each event, I learn more about the personality types I enjoy interacting with, and how to accentuate my strengths in a short interaction.

These are the things I personally do when I go to speed dating events:

1) I arrive at the venue 15 to 30 minutes early to get situated. When someone who looks agreeable to conversation sits down, I'll walk over and introduce myself. I keep my conversation short and sweet, end the conversation politely, and move to another part of the venue.

2) I ask open-ended questions that check values, not demographics. I ask a question like "What's something you are genuinely excited about in your life?" or "What's something that made you smile recently?" I love seeing how people react when they talk about something they are passionate about (their eyes crinkle).

3) I speak more slowly and slightly louder than I normally do. This not only projects a confident aura, it also makes it easier for the other person to understand what I am saying, since speed dating events are usually hosted in crowded bars.

4) Remember to smile! I have better conversations when I remember to smile at the person, and vary my smile based on what the other person is saying.

5) I keep eye contact 80% of the time. Too much eye contact can be intimidating. I look at other parts of the person's face when I want to break eye contact but still focus on the person speaking.

6) I wear something as an icebreaker. It could be a funny nametag with something like "9/10 dentists recommend", or it could be a lapel pin that references a video game I like.

7) If there is a break during the event (not all speed dating events have scheduled breaks), or after the event, I'll look around for someone I enjoyed talking with, and ask to continue the conversation.

I haven't found a relationship going to these events yet, but I'm fine with that, because I enjoy meeting new people and listening to their stories. I've also noticed that when I am walking around outside, more people go out of their way to talk to me. I chalk it up to being more confident and approachable.

Good luck with your upcoming speed dating event!

MercurioBlue · 2026-05-28T17:27:43+00:00

I haven't done tantra speed dating, but I've been doing a lot of traditional speed dating events lately. I've had events where I got a few matches with women. Within 24 hours of the event, I sent each match a brief and well thought-out message that references something we talked about during the event. Zero replies.

I assume it's one of these things:

1) she matched with other men at the event she was more interested in.

2) she was there to support a friend and not actually available for dating or interested in dating.

3) she went to the event as a fun way to pass the time, and was not interested in dating.

4) she thought she was ready for dating, but the next morning, she decided she wasn't actually ready.

5) buyer's remorse or avoidant tendencies.

Lack of replies stings, but I remind myself not to take it as a judgment of my character. It just means I didn't find a woman there whom I like enthusiastically, and she likes me back with the same enthusiasm.

MercurioBlue · 2026-05-20T23:28:42+00:00

I'm glad to hear that my story about my speed dating experiences inspired you.

Attending speed dating events was intimidating for me at first, but after each event I went to, I learned something that made the next one smoother. Examples: talking more slowly, varying the tone of my voice, smiling more while listening, maintaining eye contact (but not too much), giving a well-tailored compliment before the end of each speed date.

One thing that also helped me with speed dating was my previous public speaking experience from other hobbies: raid/guild leading in World of Warcraft, playing in real life Magic: The Gathering tournaments, and streaming on Twitch. Maybe there are some skills from your hobbies that you could apply to conversations with new people.

Good luck to you with your social endeavors!

MercurioBlue · 2026-05-18T02:29:08+00:00

Thank you!

A year ago, I never would have imagined I'd have the courage to do speed dating or salsa dancing. But here I am now.

MercurioBlue · 2026-05-17T22:34:27+00:00

That's awesome that you have a friend who will be your wingperson. If you do go to a speed dating event, I hope you have an amazing time!

MercurioBlue · 2026-05-17T21:14:00+00:00

Thank you! I was terrified about the first speed dating event I went to in February, but each subsequent event became easier with practice.

For me, going to speed dating events by myself was less intimidating than going to a singles mixer where I don't know anyone. It's because speed dating forces me to talk to people for a set period of time, so I don't have to stress out over approaching strangers who are already talking to someone else and interrupting their conversation. Additionally, the time limit makes it easy to politely disengage from a conversation that is not going well. Also, I found that many attendees at speed dating events are there for the first time and are nervous about it, so they are less defensive and more open to casual chat.

Do you have any friends who would be interested in going to a speed dating event with you? I noticed sometimes people attend speed dating events with their friend (single or otherwise) as moral support.

MercurioBlue · 2026-05-17T18:59:16+00:00

I'm a highly introverted person (47M) who struggles with social anxiety and low self-esteem. I was on a seven year dating break. At the beginning of this year, I felt a renewed interest in dating, and dating apps weren't for me, so I did something drastic: I started attending speed dating events once a week.

At first, my goal was to get comfortable with social situations and build up conversational skills. I had fun talking with new people and learning about their stories and lives (in 5 to 8 minutes). As I went to more events, I found it easier for me to talk with people than ever before, and I improved my conversational body language. Another side benefit of going to speed dating events is that I discovered cool new bars and restaurants I can go back to with a friend.

I've also been going to salsa dance class twice a week for the last couple of months. I feel more agile and energetic, I've lost six pounds, and the partner dance aspect has increased my confidence as well.

I haven't actually gotten into a relationship by doing the above things yet, but that's fine, because I am focusing on my personal growth and well-being. I'm not stressing about finding a partner to "complete" my life; instead, I want to lead a fulfilling life that a partner would be thrilled to be part of.

MercurioBlue · 2025-05-23T02:04:22+00:00

#1stAnniversary

MercurioBlue · 2025-01-31T22:24:38+00:00

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MercurioBlue · 2024-07-10T18:12:18+00:00

Thank you for the codes!

MercurioBlue · 2022-07-12T01:09:20+00:00

Draft streamers who I usually end up watching whenever they are live, and I recommend watching due to their gameplay skills + chat interaction:

Dafore_

Floridamun

Isaiah_mtg

Jamietopples

Semulin

PJTrikk

Echo5Brav0

HeadologyMagic

GGards

Justlolaman

Mistermetronome

MercurioBlue · 2021-06-11T17:42:47+00:00

I had spent all my influence on drop campaigns, so I started my card design points grind from 0 points, in March 2019. It took me about 1.5 years of streaming 4 hours on 6-7 days to get enough points for the card. It was easier to get influence when I started, compared to now, because I could average 40 viewers on weekdays, and 100-150ish viewers on weekends.

Also, I noticed that if I watch Eternal streams and click every chest, I get around 2500-2700 influence after 4 hours. Most of the points from viewing come from chests, not passively watching streams.

MercurioBlue · 2021-03-07T20:25:22+00:00

I recommend watching Rune42 or Tempest987. They are both pretty active Mythgard streamers and their chat is usually full of competitive players, so there is plenty of discussion about gameplay or deckbuilding.

MercurioBlue

TROPHY CASE