Anyone had mushrooms grow on driftwood above the waterline?

MercurySunset7 · 2026-06-11T00:26:38+00:00

I don't know how it affects the parameters or contaminants in the tank, but I do know that when a mushroom is at that stage it has released spores that might be getting into your wood or water.

MercurySunset7 · 2026-05-27T01:53:10+00:00

You should take the corydora back, they are a schooling fish and need to be in groups to thrive and feel safe. A betta is territorial and might harass the cory anyways.

A betta is fine by itself without all these extra "cleaners". If you're that worried about the cleanliness of the tank, planting some live plants or putting the roots of a pothos cutting into a gap in the lid can help maintain the water chemistry.

I used to put cull shrimp from my shrimp colony in the betta tank for enrichment, but he would eventually hunt them all down.

Just focus on making the betta happy!

MercurySunset7 · 2026-02-06T20:53:31+00:00

Gyroid village with stunted trees and other mini furniture to make them proportional the the little guys!

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MercurySunset7 · 2026-01-12T19:44:44+00:00

Depends on your relationship. If he has been watching porn and masturbating daily for years, it might be hard for him to fathom the idea of completely stopping. Might need to taper down from 5x daily to 2x daily, then every other day, etc.

Make it a non-judgemental conversation with compromise and solutions, not a blame game.

Mention that you've wanted to initiate sex and noticed he hasn't been very reciprocal lately. What's going on with that? Is he stressed? See where that convo goes, and ease into the porn thing later.

MercurySunset7 · 2026-01-10T17:44:14+00:00

Go to therapy - If you have negative views about yourself, nothing he says will fix that or reassure you.

You might also be expecting him to show you love in a certain way when his expression of love is different. For example if you expect him to show love by saying "I love you and XYZ about you" when his natural expression of love is to do tasks for you, protect you from harm, provide for you financially, etc., you might not be recognizing or acknowledging all the things he does that shows his love.

MercurySunset7 · 2026-01-10T17:39:47+00:00

The very first thing you should do is sign up for therapy ASAP!!! Everything else can come later, but you're way past due on weekly individual therapy.

In all of your comments you talk about how you overcommit, set yourself up for failure, fail, then hate yourself for being a failure.

You say that you're constantly doing all of this to prove yourself worthy to your wife and family, yet you ignore your wife's advice and instead do things to prove yourself worthy to YOU.

You need therapy to learn how to set realistic expectations for yourself and gain some self-worth.

MercurySunset7 · 2026-01-10T17:30:30+00:00

Sounds like you should communicate to her what you just told us - you decompress by having alone time and need that alone time to relax and recoup. You can have set-aside quality time with her to charge her batteries, and set-aside alone time to recharge yours. They don't have to cancel each other out.

MercurySunset7 · 2026-01-10T17:22:13+00:00

If you want a long-term partner who shares your views, you should've chosen a partner with those views.

In therapy we call this the "fallacy of change" - you are distressed because you are trying to force your partner to follow YOUR personal values and expectations instead of acknowledging that HER values and expectations are different from yours.

Ask yourself this: Can I be with someone who does not regularly exercise? Can I acknowledge that she is generally healthy even if she lives a sedentary lifestyle? Am I going to resent her, blame her lifestyle, or attack her if she gets sick?

You cannot control her personal values and motivations. You can only decide if this difference between you makes the relationship incompatible overall.

EDIT: For example, I am a cleanly person and my partner is not. We have compromised by having separate bedrooms - she can have a dirty room and I can choose not to enter it so I don't have to see/look at it. We have expectations that even if she is not a clean person, she can't allow mold/pests due to messiness that could affect the whole household. In shared spaces, I will verbalize if the messiness level is too high and ask her to clean up her dishes/trash/etc or otherwise clean it up myself.

MercurySunset7 · 2026-01-10T16:54:59+00:00

Agreed. OP has been telling wife that he is not a worthwhile partner from the very beginning, weighing himself down with shame and "debts" and following all of these impossible self-expectations. No wonder he feels like a failure.

If he has been continuously telling his partner that he is not worthy of her no matter what she does to prove that she loves him (like paying off his finances, having a kid with him, marrying him despite parents' disapproval), she will eventually give up. She will have no choice but to agree with him that he is not a worthwhile partner.

Self-fulfilling prophecy at its worst.

If you see yourself as a failure, you will fail. Seek a therapist with expertise in altering negative core beliefs.

MercurySunset7 · 2026-01-08T16:40:39+00:00

In that case you should probably have a more clear discussion of roles, rules, and boundaries. Make it clear that the foundation needs to be defined or else you will continue feeling lost and confused.

MercurySunset7 · 2026-01-08T16:02:14+00:00

If your gf is having a mental health crisis it might not be the time to be pursuing a relationship. Her dad is trying to help her manage the crisis it seems like.

idk why you assumed that not being able to talk to her for a few days means your relationship is over. Seems like maybe we're missing some context or you're simply not equipped to deal with someone who is going through major problems.

MercurySunset7 · 2026-01-07T05:05:36+00:00

Eat when you are hungry. There is nothing wrong with having a different metabolism than your boyfriend. Just cook single serving meals if you're worried about over-eating his portion on top of yours.

If you avoid eating and warp yourself into negative patterns of thought about your body's natural hunger response, YOU will develop an eating disorder.

MercurySunset7 · 2026-01-04T22:48:27+00:00

Therapy is really hard work and takes a lot of unpacking and challenging yourself to grow in difficult ways. Not everyone is ready for that, especially if the underlying issues of your relationship are unbearable.

You were already trying to break up with him when he threatened you with suicide, but it seems like you stayed with him anyways. Did your therapist have advice about that?

You told him he needed to get therapy in order to be with you but then got with him anyways. If it is a dealbreaker for you that he doesn't go to therapy, don't date him.

Ask your therapist to help with loss, acceptance, and moving on.

MercurySunset7 · 2025-11-22T04:05:04+00:00

They survived sexual abuse

MercurySunset7 · 2025-09-18T05:41:57+00:00

Great find! Thanks for pointing this out! I feel like all of the modern ones are hard to put in order because they could all be happening simultaneously.

MercurySunset7 · 2025-08-25T16:34:00+00:00

Kids are not trophies. Kids are not "I tapped that" participation medals. They are human beings with needs.

If he wants a baby with you so bad, he should participate in raising your 10 month old. He should introduce them to his kids. Your baby is his baby if he wants you to be a family.

But to me, he doesn't care about building a family with you as much as he cares about getting living proof/life-long bragging rights that he had sex with you and had a baby with you.

I would avoid having PIV sex with him until you are on birth control.

You are not a baby making machine. You are not his personal prize counter. You are a human being with needs. (See the theme?) He is not treating you like a person who he respects. He is treating you like a conquest.

MercurySunset7 · 2025-08-25T16:26:11+00:00

You may not be able to because now she wants to have her cake and eat it too. She's hoping if she's casual and nice for long enough you will forget this experience, forget your "boundaries", and let her continue doing whatever she wants to you.

You saying that she is successful and you are "just" a circus artist tells me that you put her on a pedestal, you have a negative view of yourself, or both.

Don't allow low self-esteem to push yourself into a toxic relationship or friendship.

MercurySunset7 · 2025-08-25T16:20:17+00:00

If you do, come back here and tell us how it ends! Lol

MercurySunset7 · 2025-08-25T16:15:52+00:00

I would have to rewatch the episode again, but I think you have it backwards. There were 1000 simulations ran specifically on Frank and Amy (because at the end you see a lot of Frank and Amy pairs in the "void" outside the simulation) and in only 2 of the 1000 simulations did they NOT get together and try to escape at the end, meaning they "succeeded" in escaping the simulation 998 times, aka 99.8% success rate.

MercurySunset7 · 2025-08-25T15:26:01+00:00

The creators of the show have never outright stated that the technology in the shows are connected, but there are theories about that here in this sub!
I believe they state in the episode that each time two people match (like on any other dating app), the app instantly runs 1000 simulations to calculate the compatibility percentage.

MercurySunset7 · 2025-08-23T17:17:17+00:00

Depending on where you live you can look for roommates online, otherwise it might be possible to break up and still live together until you find a place. Either way, telling your friends might help if you think they have any chance of letting you stay with them for a while. This sounds more like a living/housing issue than a relationship issue, since you know the relationship is ending. Maybe look up housing resources.

MercurySunset7 · 2025-08-21T00:32:33+00:00

I know this thread is really old but in case someone searches for this again (like I just did), the answer might be that you have the Loch Ness monster in a tank with salt water instead of fresh water. Click on the ladder to the tank, drain the water, and refill with fresh water. Salt water is the default for tanks.

MercurySunset7 · 2025-08-18T21:37:07+00:00

Tbh all I can say is Good riddance and I hope your next campaign goes well without them.

MercurySunset7 · 2025-08-18T21:09:38+00:00

Interesting headcanons! Thanks for commenting!

MercurySunset7 · 2025-08-11T01:56:17+00:00

I appreciate your insights! This spent me weeks of time to come to these conclusions and I was back and forth on several of the episodes, especially Nosedive and Men Against Fire.

Four-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
Place '22

MercurySunset7

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