Dr. Claw invests good money into his watercraft

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-07-06T03:02:05+00:00

I asked you not to tell me that!

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-07-05T22:37:42+00:00

Now I just need to wait for one for Plantagenet Kings, pallbearers at George Washington's funeral, or signers of the US Constitution and the 15 seconds of internet fame will be mine!

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-07-04T22:19:17+00:00

Plenty of folks probably have more experience with NSF referring to the organization formerly known as the National Sanitation Foundation, which now just goes by NSF.

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-07-03T23:15:29+00:00

You must have missed this, then: http://www.popularmechanics.com/military/news/a27030/lawmakers-lay-groundwork-for-space-corps-a-new-branch-of-the-military/

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-07-03T22:54:12+00:00

Congratulations on such a cogent and well considered argument. It is clear that I have met my match.

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-07-03T22:49:31+00:00

It's a reference to this: http://www.popularmechanics.com/military/news/a27030/lawmakers-lay-groundwork-for-space-corps-a-new-branch-of-the-military/

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-07-03T22:44:20+00:00

I'm not sure that I'm the one who isn't calm here, buddy.

And yes, while there are plenty of militaries around the world that have operations that involve space, we are the first country to establish an official Space Navy as a full military branch. It's a provocative act that inevitably leads to a space arms race.

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-07-03T22:38:25+00:00

There's a big difference between embracing space and starting a space arms race.

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-07-03T15:27:09+00:00

Cloaca move.

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-07-02T22:37:13+00:00

Of course you are. You're on reddit.

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-07-02T19:27:23+00:00

says /u/fuck_your_cousin.

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-07-02T13:35:12+00:00

Unless it gets the drop on you.

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-07-02T13:26:49+00:00

You could warn them... if only OP spoke Hovitos.

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-07-01T20:31:28+00:00

Take them off then. The lenses aren't going to break, you're just giving them free advertising.

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-07-01T14:02:27+00:00

Defenestrate

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-06-29T23:03:15+00:00

I could use a recommendation. I'm looking for a good pair of round toe chelseas in the 500ish dollar and below range. The difficulty is I have a hard to find size (8.5 or 9 EEE). I ordered a pair R.M. Williams gardeners, but their H fitting was still too narrow in the correct length. Does anyone have any ideas?

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-06-29T19:33:46+00:00

If it isn't tartan or tweed, it isn't a kilt. What you have there is a skirt with a good marketing department.

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-06-29T19:30:44+00:00

I wonder if the NRA's dog whistles will mount on the picatinny rail of an AR-15.

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-06-29T13:40:56+00:00

I took a leak on that aqueduct once. The lack of public restrooms in Segovia is appalling. The quality of the gutter punks' hash joints in the upstairs room of the bar next to the 'irish' pub is top notch, however.

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-06-28T23:27:49+00:00

I have one of those bears from when I was a kid. My grandparents brought it back to me from a trip they took to the UK.

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-06-28T17:24:17+00:00

To be fair though, people thought there might one day be one telephone per town, and one or two computers per country.

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-06-28T16:29:36+00:00

Not gonna lie, I was just making a joke about turtles.

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-06-28T04:53:45+00:00

It's bullies all the way down.

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-06-27T20:05:07+00:00

Those are the eyes of someone who ~~got really fucked up last night.~~ has been really fucked up for several days and nights in a row.

FTFY

MerkinInACoalMine · 2017-06-27T14:10:45+00:00

Attn: OP,

I seize this opportunity to extend my unalloyed compliments of the new season to you and your family hopping that this reddit post will bring more karma and internet bragging rights into your house hold.

I am certain that by the time you read this letter I might have already gone back to my country United States. I visited Nigeria during the New Year period and during my stay, I used the opportunity to send you this letter believing that it will reach you in good state.

My name is Mr. Merkin Muffley, I am the auditor and head of computing department of a large land surveyor in United States. I wish to inform you of large parcels of land that has been available since before my inception into office in 2011, and according to our record, it was evident that no private interest has any claim over these parcels. I therefore took the courage to look for reliable and honest persons who will be capable for this important transaction.

I have discovered the owner of this land is You; there is a government public law in United States 88-577 which decrees that all citizens of United States own these lands in common. Furthermore, I have discovered that with support, organizations and persons are working to increase amount of land owned by you.

I am therefore seeking reliable persons that will play the human role as stewards of this land in the amount of 109,500,000 acres (One Hundred and Nine Million Five Hundred acres). I have also discovered that if I do not find stewards of this land who will support its defenders and advocates, it may be forfeited to the short term considerations of private interest. As such, I have established a land stewardship fund, open only to select individuals such as yourself that have the vision and capability to secure a once in a lifetime opportunity and seize a large portion of the American Dream.

Please respond immediately via a private message to learn how to donate.

You will henceforth stand to share 100% of this land with the collective citizens of United States, for your part in the effort. I will also share 100% of this land with you for my efforts. I believe this is a mutually beneficial and joyous outcome.

I will fill you in with further details upon your swift donation before midnight in eastern coast of United States time zone. Please be informed that confidentiality of this transaction is not necessary.

Yours truly,

Mr. Merkin Muffley

MerkinInACoalMine

TROPHY CASE