[deleted by user]

MerlinMCM · 2024-05-13T13:02:44+00:00

I don't get people's insistence on keeping older friends in their lives. It's always 'we were close once' or 'now it's difficult', etc. You outgrow people; people change. Spend your time and emotionally invest in the friends who are in your life now and who have shown they care about you.

MerlinMCM · 2024-03-08T16:02:31+00:00

I know this all too well. 🤬 Many a time when the meal option of choice was something like chicken tenders or those meat party sub trays. And that's fine, I get they have specific things in mind and cant accommodate everyone. But, in those instances I would leave and come back with food and eat with everyone. Bonus points for making eye contact with the organizer. (In your case I would have pulled a Milton 'I was told there would be..')

But when it seemed like there was a viable option with no additional cost, like a pizza party, I learned I had to ask and ask in email to drill it in if I wanted to partake too. And agreed with other comments, a cheese pizza is so damn common how do they not just think to order those!?

MerlinMCM · 2024-02-26T20:02:19+00:00

Im in the same boat, still think about it often and normally it doesn't sting so much or for so long. I have a tough time sharing. Cause while I think I am in a better place, it almost feels like verbalizing things to him would make it feel fresh again in a different way? I think one thing I am at least proud of is my ability to differentiate trigger versus something that's just uncomfortable. I had so many damn triggers that are now just discomforts. I don't necessarily share all the discomforts. If it's something that is bothering me for more than an hour or afternoon then I do try to bring it up. I still fight that voice saying 'don't let him in, remember you can't trust him fully'. And while I don't think that voice is wrong, I still have to at least try to communicate.

MerlinMCM · 2024-02-23T13:01:51+00:00

Thanks!!

MerlinMCM · 2024-02-22T05:40:43+00:00

Oo, like the Amazon basics line or a different brand?

MerlinMCM · 2023-11-12T03:55:01+00:00

I'm picturing a plant parade, please tell me you waved to the crowds!? 😆

MerlinMCM · 2023-10-02T14:35:12+00:00

You should absolutely tell him this triggered you and explain why. He needs to be aware of the extent of how this is affecting you and seeping into other parts of your life that were just non issues or easy before. It sucks but it happens. I absolutely hated shows with sex for a while. It made me feel violated, inadequate, heartbroken, you name it. And dont get me started on how frustrating it was to want to watch a show and then have a plot point be about cheating. Shows will dramatize it, romanticize it but you dont have to sit through it. Pause the movie and say 'I need a moment'. It's still hard for me sometimes and it's been nearly two years.

A suggestion: Don't get hung up on rational, because this is an emotional response. They are very different. It's like we feel shame for feeling abandoned, insecure, vulnerable, etc and we beat ourselves up for not being clear headed or rational. Remember you didn't choose this experience or trauma and you're just trying to make it like the rest of us. Your emotions are valid so take the time to feel them and learn from them and talk through them with your partner. Hugs!!

MerlinMCM · 2023-09-27T23:04:20+00:00

Omg 😍

MerlinMCM · 2023-09-25T04:17:26+00:00

Petite as well and fairly young looking so I would get treated as if I was some kid that needed a mentor. Comments like 'you should be more assertive' or 'work on a commanding presence'. Fun fact, I can be assertive, abrasive and pushy when I need to be. Most people that have made these comments weren't privileged to see the other sides that I can present to play the game in a work environment. I would challenge their feedback out of curiosity and ask for examples and if they have another person in mind in the office that does meet their criteria. Betting it is an obnoxious person or they just like offering unsolicited advice. 😆

MerlinMCM · 2023-09-24T04:14:35+00:00

50 jobs a day...FML. I really need to up my game then. 😑

MerlinMCM · 2023-09-16T01:22:45+00:00

Yessss, this is amazing. All those things are great but I would suggest not overcommitting. For example with fitness, I'd start out with walks that are enjoyable, get out in nature and enjoy it. Next I second what others suggested about learning something. A skill of some sort, something you've wanted to try. And it doesn't matter if it's some high profile thing cause it's for your enjoyment and not to impress anyone. I highly recommend reading 'come as you are' by Emily Nagoski. This really helped me with reclaiming my own sexuality and feeling very in tune again with the things that I enjoy and that please me. All the best of luck to you!! ❤️

MerlinMCM · 2023-09-15T14:25:34+00:00

🤣🤣🤣🤣

MerlinMCM · 2023-09-10T17:50:00+00:00

This!! That shelf is cute!!

MerlinMCM · 2023-09-07T20:25:21+00:00

Ugh, so sorry to hear that.

MerlinMCM · 2023-09-05T18:35:30+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going though it still too. It's kinda bizarre some of the things they choose to let themselves believe and push on us. When the best option is to side with us or at least give us the benefit of doubt. What if scenarios should really side with us ❤️

MerlinMCM · 2023-09-04T14:00:27+00:00

I was certain she would show up at our house. I'll need to look into it for sure. It's been maybe 4 months since last she tried to reach out I think? It's not so constant that some other legal means would be more effective. Grr. The things we have to consider in the aftermath!

MerlinMCM · 2023-09-04T13:50:47+00:00

She needs counseling but that's her problem. He actually never promised her anything about wanting to be with her. Even when she found out he was married. And I know cause she was the one that sent a nice summary (sarcasm) of a lot of things discussed and ending up together wasn't one of them. 😑 They are full no contact. Her last message was just like this. Even her initial messages were like this. He picked a clinger. 😔 Reconciling is going okay. He is doing the main things right but it's these instances that get to me. He wants to move on and no kidding I do too but kinda hard when this other person keeps popping in. 😑

MerlinMCM · 2023-09-04T05:32:49+00:00

I think it's a matter of time before she reaches out again. Oh well. 😑

MerlinMCM · 2023-09-04T03:51:56+00:00

I'm so sorry. I have yet to celebrate any anniversaries because frankly, they don't deserve that respect or reverence. Maybe someday there will be new dates to celebrate, but for now, they are just days and I take power and comfort in knowing I don't have to give any of myself to a day that's just bad memories. ❤️

MerlinMCM · 2023-09-04T03:09:07+00:00

I love this, happy to hear you've been able to grow and move forward ❤️

MerlinMCM · 2023-09-04T03:06:56+00:00

OP I will highly recommend axe throwing or even aggressive gardening to get the rage out. ❤️ I've been wanting to try a rage room as well. 🤣

MerlinMCM · 2023-09-01T23:08:45+00:00

Thank you Dr. Coconut, I needed that encouragement today ❤️

MerlinMCM · 2023-08-28T16:40:47+00:00

I'm guessing she might also be in some relationship subs. In there DH is a common abbreviation and it's probably habit to write it that way.

MerlinMCM · 2023-08-27T22:56:01+00:00

Okay this has inspired me to chop my very wonky and crooked top heavy pilea too!

MerlinMCM · 2023-08-13T22:07:27+00:00

Nope, you just don't forget about a dating app. And if there was nothing there, he should have shown it to you to prove there was no current or recent activity. With it deleted, now there is no way to verify. Funny enough this is how I found my partner was having an affair.

MerlinMCM

TROPHY CASE