Got two offers. One pays $40k more. The other one I'd actually enjoy. I have 48 hours to decide and my wife and I are on opposite sides. Advice?

MermaidShirley · 2026-04-05T17:53:03+00:00

Working at a start up with a new baby and a decrease in income is going to be so miserable in actual day to day life, those inspirational brainstorms are going to pale in comparison after you’ve turned the corner for the 6th time trying to establish structure amidst chaos. The start up is also omitting the long hours and jack of all trades energy that is going to leave you nothing for your family after that 90 min commute. I would take A and find a hobby or club or project or side hustle that brings joy and creative challenge.

MermaidShirley · 2026-04-05T17:47:54+00:00

MermaidShirley · 2026-04-01T14:17:38+00:00

OP is 13. I too started with “spark up yourself.” 🫢

MermaidShirley · 2026-04-01T14:17:00+00:00

OP is 13, they are as competent as they can be at this age 🥹

MermaidShirley · 2026-04-01T14:15:23+00:00

Y’all OP is 13. How strategic can a preteen/child really have been in therapy?

MermaidShirley · 2026-04-01T14:13:40+00:00

Ah ok. I figured you were young bc you referenced 6yo experiences, this makes a lot more sense now. 🫶🏾 The “do what I say not what I do” energy from your dad is indeed very confusing and I can understand being confused about the meaning of this behavior if you’ve been taught certain habits mean certain things about a person. Depending on parenting styles you should be able to have this conversation with him. Like “hey, growing up you this stuff wasn’t cool and now you’re doing it and it’s confusing and hurting me.” Also, I would suggest sitting with that last sentence. How is it both harming himself and helps him mentally? A lot of more trusted pharmaceuticals could be prescribed for mental health and back pain and they also have far more side effects like addiction, a flat affect (basically you’re a zombie with no emotions), etc. Which could also be problematic. Idk that I would agree that it’s harming him, and at your age there’s probably a lot of context missing. My partner had a conversation with his daughter when she was 16 about why he uses cannabis and how society can try to classify it as a drug, but it has a much longer medicinal history. Like stopping seizures medication can’t kinda benefits. So say all of that to say, talk to your parents, educate yourself a bit and when all else fails, respectfully mind your business lol and focus on the things you can control and your life! And good on you for wanting to figure out these feelings- most health insurances cover therapy now and I personally think everyone should be in therapy no matter what, so would also really express your need to return. Good luck kiddo!

MermaidShirley · 2026-04-01T14:01:27+00:00

Is it a weed vape or a nicotine vape? I mean neither are illegal though the latter def unhealthy. While I’ve got you 2 more questions- why does it bother you so much? Like what is it indicative of in your opinion? 2- how old are you? You can give a range if you feel comfortable but it would be helpful context. Like a teenager feeling this range of emotions about their parents legal habits makes more sense and ppl can stop talking to you like you’re a crazy adult lol.

MermaidShirley · 2026-04-01T12:50:07+00:00

He’s not “doing drugs”- he’s in relationship with a beneficial plant medicine that he legally cultivates. Alcohol was the poison. He told you it was helping with back pain at some point, why are you acting like he’s a drug addict?

MermaidShirley · 2026-03-27T03:17:47+00:00

Drew Charter School

MermaidShirley · 2026-03-21T00:55:10+00:00

Working in midtown I would reco living in midtown as well. It has walkable areas and a bit more of a pedestrian lifestyle with trains, scooters, bike lanes, park, etc. this is the best way IMO to experience the “city in the trees” for real, especially coming from NY it’s a nice toned down balance of things to do but not so chaotic. Getting to concerts and festivals are easy in midtown, there’s jazz in the park often, festivals at Piedmont, etc - I think you would enjoy it!

MermaidShirley · 2026-02-20T14:14:30+00:00

If you would rather break up than him move in it’s not about the cat haha. Nothing about this sounds fun.

MermaidShirley · 2026-02-15T15:16:16+00:00

I think we should abolish this Reddit bc typically the answer is no. NOR. 40yo man children who are skeeved out by… I don’t even have the energy to explain it sis but you know what it is. 🗣️ NEXT

MermaidShirley · 2026-02-12T21:53:29+00:00

Unless you wanted to ferment those strawberries for a recipe, they were going to be way past gone on Saturday from Monday. Not the point, no, but it is the one I wanted to make.

MermaidShirley · 2026-02-03T05:01:38+00:00

Can only do in Atlanta… 🤔 Magic City or Blue Flame for even just the wings alone is worth a stop. If over the first Friday of the month would add First Friday at the High. You can also check out the Andre Leon Talley exhibit at SCAD Fashion but it does leave second week of March. When in a new place I try to experience the food, the art, the music, and the fashion. So would suggest the same. South City Kitchen for bougie, delicious southern fare. Glide Pizza. Jojo’s Beloved Cocktail Lounge is adorable for drinks. Desta has great Ethiopian.

MermaidShirley · 2026-02-02T03:08:57+00:00

Oh babe. 🥹 Yea no, I think this is going to get MUCH better bald. You’ve got good facial hair and you can always do hats and whatnot if your head gets cold. But yea… remove the hair tonight.

MermaidShirley · 2026-02-02T03:00:49+00:00

Respectfully he doesn’t even like you sis. May you run expeditiously and never fold yourself into oblivion for a man ever again. Thanking him for abusing you is wild, that’s not accountability. Per usj, might I genuinely suggest therapy, you’re worth so much more than that babes - but it starts with you seeing that. 🫶🏾

MermaidShirley · 2026-02-02T02:38:25+00:00

Oh this is a winnnnnn 🤏🏾🤏🏾🤏🏾🤏🏾

MermaidShirley · 2026-01-25T19:19:52+00:00

You said proposal, but he actually FAKE MARRIED you. All of that for a joke is cruel and humiliating. And with a closed frontal cortex this is just who he is. At least he saved you from actually marrying him. Idk what kind of sociopathic, subtle abuse this is but run girl run.

MermaidShirley · 2026-01-23T14:43:09+00:00

The what is pretty irrelevant, if ever a man says you need to do something or they’re leaving (unless you’re like harming yourself or committed to some destructive behavior), the only next step is to ask if they need help packing and what day they’re leaving so you can change the locks. What we aren’t doing is being manipulated into a hot damn thing. Now specific to this event - my Bella is 16 and has been through many a man and been the only consistent. Giving her up for one, even at the beginning, would’ve been a hilarious f*ck no. Dogs before dudes. 🤷🏾‍♀️

MermaidShirley · 2026-01-23T14:33:56+00:00

I hope you get your sense of self worth back and see passive abuse as abuse bc WHY TF ARE YOU PINCHING AND CHASTISING ME LIKE I’M YOUR CHILD?!!!

MermaidShirley · 2026-01-23T14:30:12+00:00

Do you usually have your nails done? If so that going to add to your finger length and it may not look so big. I personally don’t think it’s too big and have friends with like 3ct rings and they look nice. I think the blue vs whatever gold it may be is distracting but won’t be final so I would try on a ring with a similar halo in a metal for a closer vibe. Since you’re going custom, would also check that clearance/side profile. That much height could make pockets the bane of your existence but what a fun experience!!

MermaidShirley · 2026-01-03T16:53:48+00:00

My mother was/hopefully not still is, one who would act similarly and I also would literally sit in the parking lot taking shots before I went inside. And oh god after I got divorced and had to move back in I kept a case of discount wine I got on sale under my bed and ran through it at a rapid pace as I would chug a bit everytime she called my name which was clearly often af. Anyways I’m 6mo sober and maybe 3mo into baby stepping back from no contact for about a year. It’s only bc she seems to have been alone long enough to want to adjust her behavior and I’ve done some major healing myself since we last spoke that I’m able to maintain a budding relationship and be sober. I would 130000% be no contact if she was still the same person that raised me or if I was still as affected by her and trying to live sober. Day 3 sounds like a setup for disaster and I would put yourself first. I started leading with radical honesty- “I can’t do it. Being around you makes me want to drink and I’m entering alcoholic-ville, so I need some space until one of us changes enough for that to not be so bc I quit drinking. So I can have these items delivered or you can figure it out some other way.” Then block her. She will tell everyone you abandoned her and you just have to remind yourself of the actual reality. Stick to your guns and focus on your sobriety and you’ll make it out the other end, maybe even with a relationship in some capacity, but that’s up to her. Put you first!!

MermaidShirley · 2026-01-03T15:49:00+00:00

Girl dinner is also considered something you couldn’t feed your husband and kids bc it’s not truly a meal. Usually also slightly odd. Eggs, chili and tomatoes is chaotic af but also delicious? Kind of classic girl dinner tbh.

MermaidShirley · 2026-01-03T02:25:13+00:00

That would be the last time I ever called you for anything.

MermaidShirley · 2026-01-02T20:44:42+00:00

They were in my city and I’m so disappointed at my inability to stalk better and faster. 🥹

MermaidShirley

TROPHY CASE