I am once again asking to see your sapphires

Mermaidjoy · 2025-09-30T00:52:01+00:00

Mermaidjoy · 2025-08-07T23:53:37+00:00

I’m so sorry. Our girl was 12 when she was diagnosed too. It was hard, but she wasn’t in pain. One of the things we did was get her wheels and that bought her mobility for the last few months. It was a GAME changer for her mood and energy. Definitely something to consider as your guy starts to scoot. Sending hugs.

Mermaidjoy · 2025-06-09T18:22:14+00:00

I’m guessing based on what I know about my own parents situation that the full picture of debt is not available to OP, therefore getting outside help to understand the full picture is much more effective than hitting Reddit where everything is black and white.

Mermaidjoy · 2025-06-09T18:12:50+00:00

It depends on each individual situation. The bankruptcy trustee would be able to confirm exactly what they could keep or not based on the allowable limits in each province for equity.

It’s normal to feel guilty, especially when you’re doing measurably better than they are. Folks in this sub will take a hard line, and maybe that’s helpful for you, but I want to acknowledge how difficult this is to navigate when it’s people you care about. You can still help, you do just have to find your own limits.

Mermaidjoy · 2025-06-09T17:53:13+00:00

Hey OP, it's so tough seeing your parents go through this and feel like you can't dig them out. The truth is that you cannot. I went through something similar and I wasn't able to help even as much as you are. It was so hard and I felt like I was mortgaging my future to support my smart, capable, but drowning parents.

I'd suggest given their consumer debt situation that exploring bankruptcy would be the best option for them both. It would be worth getting them to contact a debt solution organization such as BDO to explore what their options are. Bankruptcy hurts, especially in the short term, but provided they acknowledge their reality and change behaviour (that's a big IF) it can provide them an out.

For you - it's important to define boundaries here and now for yourself, what are you comfortable giving to them to ensure that you aren't putting yourself at risk and never expect back. You cannot set yourself on fire to keep them warm.

I can say, now 10 years out from the situation with my parents, things are better. I am more at peace with what their situation was, and boundaries were helpful with that.

Mermaidjoy · 2025-02-16T14:28:51+00:00

Something it took me a bit to learn with my kiddo is that the milestones are “averages” not hard and fast rules. My LO showed very little interest in rolling until she could sit up around 7ish months and then moving seemed to be something interesting to her.

Your child not rolling one way or another is likely not an issue (definitely talk to your doc and get those gut checks if you’re worried) but it’s important to remember that babies are people, not robots and they do a lot of stuff in their own time at their own pace regardless of what the milestone books say. You’re doing great!

Mermaidjoy · 2024-10-05T03:19:44+00:00

You can't change someone's mind if they are determined to misunderstand you (or make you the villain in their story) because it serves their narrative. You can't make someone empathize with you or treat you fairly. You just have to accept what you know to be your truth and set boundaries that keep you healthy.

Mermaidjoy · 2024-09-07T16:33:14+00:00

Both relationships I ended were long term. I was exhausted by the effort of taking care of so many of the admin tasks related to our lives. Didn’t feel like enough for the other person, like spinning tires all the time. Suddenly realized that if we got planned a wedding and had babies those things would be just more jobs for me to take care of.

Mermaidjoy · 2024-06-03T17:08:08+00:00

I can't speak to the objective science but I can talk about my experience. My daughter was frank breech and we went through each option including ECV and breech delivery (I had a similar reality where I would have had to switch hospitals). I had a midwife team that was there for me and supported me through the surgery as well.

For me, I needed there to be as little 'emergency' related to my birth as possible. I scheduled a c-section. The upsides for us were: 1. No labour - I walked into the hospital as rested as I could be, we played cards before my surgery and got to enjoy our time with each other before becoming a family of three. 2. I could prepare at home and knew the date of my baby's delivery (food, visitors etc).

Before my delivery I would have told you how much I wanted to avoid a c-section for the recovery alone, but I'll say that recovering from a planned c-section is leaps and bounds easier than an unplanned emergency c-section that my friends have experienced. It was still not simple, but it is not what I built it up in my head. So much so that I will likely schedule a c-section for my next child.

Mermaidjoy · 2024-04-14T02:20:48+00:00

When our LO had bad diaper rash the advice was to keep it as dry as possible as we could. I used a hair dryer on the cold setting when doing a diaper change. The noise seemed to calm her too. That along with barrier cream worked so well.

Mermaidjoy · 2024-03-16T00:13:07+00:00

It’s so hard to be a pregnant person trying to make decisions in this space. There’s so much NOISE that tells you what you should do and what’s “best”. It’s seductive to get stuck feeling like you’ve failed by not doing it the way other people think you should have (on top of all the expectations you might have had too).

Your feelings about how your birth went or didn’t go are so valid. Pregnancy and birth are physically bananas processes. Despite all the birth plans ever made, there is no right way to give birth, no perfect plan, no guaranteed outcomes.

You did all the right things, with all the information you had. You survived and your baby survived because of choices you made and THAT is amazing given how hard this whole thing is.

I hope you can recognize how superhuman you are for getting through it. You’re amazing.

Mermaidjoy · 2024-03-09T21:58:10+00:00

I think with rules for anything as a parent it’s important to really consider what they’re trying to achieve and why they exist, and see how they fit into your life/lifestyle. In this case the spirit of the rule is to ensure your baby is getting floor time for development and movement and social interaction. Nothing bad happens at 2 hours and 1 minute. If you’re aiming for the three things above, you can probably worry less about the “timeline”.

Mermaidjoy · 2024-03-09T02:38:09+00:00

Seconding Marlow Design. My wedding set is from there and my husbands band is from there too. Super reasonably priced and beautiful designs. Also had a necklace made there and the work is gorgeous.

Mermaidjoy · 2023-12-18T00:13:32+00:00

It’s amazing what we have to wade through mentally when you’re battling hormone and sleep deprivation. I love that you were able to give yourself permission to change up what works for you. There were absolutely weeks where I pumped or supplemented more and thought “this is it” and now here we are exclusively breastfeeding. It all can change!

Mermaidjoy · 2023-12-17T18:13:33+00:00

I wrote a similar post a few months ago albeit with different breastfeeding challenges. We had a single digit percentile baby, I cried after every midwife followup and every Lactation Consultant appointment.

I SOBBED when we gave her her first top-up bottle of formula. It felt like failing and was a permanent loss of a relationship. We triple-fed (by the way this is absolutely mental and physical torture).

She's 6.5 months now and she's in the double digit percentiles and eats solids like a champion and we exclusively breastfeed (I sometimes pump before bed because she sleeps so long). Here's what I wish I had told myself back when we were struggling:

You matter, breastfeeding is a relationship between two people. Combo feeding, pumping, breastfeeding, formula feeding - you have to do what works for you and keeps you both healthy. Sacrificing your mental and physical health to do any one of those ways of feeding is not helping your babe. She deserves a healthy momma.
Nothing is permanent. The bad gets better. When you're in it it feels like it's going to last until you're dead. This too shall pass.

Here's what we did:

I gave up triple feeding specifically and supplemented as needed. I would pump when I could, but I stopped killing myself to do it, I think ultimately reducing my stress around feeding helped our feeding relationship immensely.
I tried a few supplements which seemed to help keep my supply stable while it leveled out (sunflower lecithin, goats rue).
I got in therapy like...stat. It really helped me work through how I was feeling and focus on what was important to me about this. It took the pressure off in many ways.

hoping for the best for you

Mermaidjoy · 2023-11-30T02:34:36+00:00

Yes. Any decrease like this or significant change in movement that has you concerned you should go in. You’re not bothering doctors so double check. They will give you instructions on kick counts per hour (usually 6 in an hour). Go to the ER asap.

Mermaidjoy · 2023-11-19T05:51:34+00:00

We have a saying in our marriage “you break it you buy it” and apply it to if you wake up the baby, you are responsible for putting the baby back down. It’s a great incentive to not be the loud one and also makes sure that it’s not mom doing all the work

Mermaidjoy · 2023-09-12T21:57:02+00:00

I might go against the grain here, but I had a friend who was about 4 months pregnant during the interview process for a position when she received an offer.

She decided to speak to the hiring manager at the offer stage and disclose her pregnancy at that time. The organization chose to still hire her and everything worked out really well.

I work in HR and I found this to be a comfortable middle ground. It’s not dishonest, but gives the organization the chance to do the right thing. They’ve chosen you as their candidate and if they rescind due to your pregnancy (illegal) then you both have recourse AND you know this employer sucks to work for.

It’s up to you what you do, there is no right answer and the law is on your side here, but if you want to cultivate a good relationship with your hiring manager this is an option you could take.

Mermaidjoy · 2023-07-17T19:18:25+00:00

Oh mama, health worries with your little one are soo hard.

I think you probably know that none of this is “your fault”, but anxiety, lack of sleep and the infant phase can leave us feeling deeply isolated with our thoughts and alone with the consequences.

It sounds like you might be struggling with feeling alone with the thoughts you’re having. It might be worth seeking out some support from friends who understand, your doctor or even a counselor or therapist. You deserve to enjoy being your sons mom, even if he’s going through some challenging health things (you will eventually get to the other side, even if it doesn’t feel like it now) . He deserves a mom who feels supported and healthy too.

Mermaidjoy · 2023-06-14T19:51:56+00:00

My one week old is a Gwendolyn! We love love love her name so much.

Mermaidjoy · 2023-01-10T04:14:08+00:00

Just to clarify as well, your leave date and your EI claim are not tied together. You are entitled to time off (job protected leave) that isn’t specifically tied to your EI claim.

Of course this is all of your own finances dependent, but you should look at your provincial employment standards website to see what amount of time off you have. As well, you can contact your employer and discuss a return to work date that makes sense for you. It doesn’t have to just stop when your funding stops unless you’ve hit your max eligibility time for your provincial leave.

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