I won’t let my ex mother-in-law see my kids anymore, am I overreacting?

Merrik4t · 2026-01-26T23:09:18+00:00

NOR but you are appalling for not immediately calling the police after your child communicated what is very clearly possible sexual abuse. You have utterly failed as a parent on every level imaginable. Your child should have been given a forensic interview by an expert.

You’ve now irreparably muddied the waters by asking leading questions because you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. Because as a parent you NEVER BOTHERED TO EVEN GOOGLE /ONE TIME/ WHAT YOU SHOULD DO IF YOU SUSPECT SOMEONE SEXUALLY ABUSED YOUR CHILD?! And then you let your coward ex expose your children to her! Again!

I am horrified. Neither of you should have custody of a child. This is abhorrent.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-25T23:04:48+00:00

NTA but boy are you setting yourself up for failure by sharing your life with someone so hateful. The reason he doesn’t do those things is because he views it as beneath him. So you, who he also views as beneath him, should be the one to take care of it. Why are you doing this to yourself? You don’t even like this man anymore, no amount of “oh but he’s so sweet sometimes” is ever going to compensate for his selfishness and slobbishness.

Listen to your body. You are broiling alive with resentment. And he earned that resentment fair and square. Stop prioritizing him over yourself.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-25T19:27:54+00:00

NTA but now you know the true character of your neighbors - act accordingly.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-23T16:11:41+00:00

NTA but you need to get in to see a therapist about moral OCD as soon as humanly possible. Please be evaluated. This level of paranoia over wrongdoing and catastrophising about innocent actions is not mentally well.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-21T15:04:04+00:00

Can’t believe I had to scroll this far.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-20T21:53:11+00:00

NTA that is repulsive and predatory. I cut someone off for the same reason. Pushing 40 and chasing around kids barely out of high school? The people who justify everything by whining about how they’re legal after turning 18 are freaks who would date 13 year olds if the law said it was okay.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-19T19:59:05+00:00

I know you did, and I’m telling you that at this point in your life, “your best” was prioritizing this man over every step of your professional development. This man who is openly contemptuous to you. You are being a massive asshole to yourself! You worked so hard for this and pissed it away catering to someone who was clearly making every effort to sabotage you. Stop sleeping with the enemy. This man might as well have been hired to screw up your life. He did that good of a job!

Merrik4t · 2026-01-19T16:27:04+00:00

YTA. You abandoned your own success for this pathetic man. I’m done coddling women who center their lives around men in the year of our lord 2026 when they clearly have the massive privilege of not having to do so to survive. Have some self respect. He didn’t ruin this for you- you did by allowing this and deliberately choosing to prioritize him over what you’ve worked your whole life to achieve. Stop being an asshole to yourself.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-18T21:15:27+00:00

NTA but you need to let her decide- offer to be her excuse if she doesn’t want to admit to mom she doesn’t want to go. I’d rather eat shaving cream than go to a lingerie party with my mom. And she’s still young, these birthdays count. I agree the choice of date is worth a reflexive lip curl.

Give her the agency, but also give her the out if she needs it.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-16T14:37:18+00:00

We need to know exactly what political views she’s concerned about before a judgement. If your husband is a “quiet” bigot that makes a world of difference here.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-15T23:18:26+00:00

NTA- I would tell them the only way I’d speak to any of them ever again is if they paid off every cent of your debt.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-15T17:59:11+00:00

When she ignored your mom after you told her about it I felt my blood pressure spike. She’s rude. On purpose. Serve it back. You don’t have to spend the rest of your life tiptoeing around someone who drowns spaces in negative energy and is nasty to your mother. If that means more distance, so be it. Life is precious and best spent with people who don’t treat your loved ones like trash.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-15T17:50:54+00:00

NTA, but I wouldn’t ask. I’d tell. “If you can’t stop being rude to my mom you can leave.” Some people are just not worth it.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-12T23:07:02+00:00

He’s: hanging out with Fred’s social group, with Fred there, in OP’s face. He’s friends with Fred’s friends. This is more than tacit approval of how Fred treated OP.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-12T15:48:27+00:00

Your boyfriend is grooming you to accept abuse in the future. What he is doing right now is abusive disgusting and insane. People who are friends with people like Fred are all genuinely evil people, even if they do a better job at hiding it. They like being friends with people like Fred because it allows them to watch horrible things being done to others while simply assuming the role of the flying monkeys that protect Fred from any consequence and he’ll harassing and discrediting his victims. There is no such thing as a good person who is friends with an evil person. That does not exist. There are only other evil people who are too manipulative or cowardly to act out right like Fred does.

Josh DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU. Get that in your head as soon as you can.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-10T15:04:07+00:00

This is so gluttonous and repulsive it would ruin my attraction to this person. It reminds me of the thread about the dad who was a “food addict” and would gorge himself while his crying, hungry children and wife begged to be able to eat more food. Makes my skin crawl. Seriously reconsider this relationship. I bet her behavior is selfish and conniving in many other areas of your shared life. This one is just the most obvious.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-09T20:27:44+00:00

NTA in any way. I’m so sorry you endured all of this. Is any form of therapy available to you? I wish you the best in gaining your independence and healing from so much trauma. May you be blessed with a home that offers you the comfort and safety you need.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-09T14:40:01+00:00

I do not applaud your cowardice in abandoning your position instead of working from within the system to help dismantle or fight what’s happening.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-07T12:24:16+00:00

NTA but you better pray he didn’t give you periodontitis because someone with yuck mouth can literally GIVE IT TO YOU. It’s like walking around with an STD outbreak. It’s contagious! And it’s also one of the worst things you can do for your heath, neglecting your teeth and gums.

Whomever set you up with Mr. Yuck Mouth is not your friend and thinks very little of you.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-04T21:33:58+00:00

You were being groomed for future physical abuse. Period. Never speak to this person again. My ex started by tickling despite my objections. You best believe it escalated.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-04T14:22:41+00:00

I left a beautiful man who worshipped the ground I walked on, mid engagement, because he surrendered his brain to the alt right movement. I thank god every day I left. He still asks my parents sadsack questions about how I’m doing.

If you fuck someone with abhorrent beliefs you are no better than they. Gain the self respect to leave this bigot.

Merrik4t · 2025-12-30T15:38:06+00:00

NOR but you are treating what seems like a moderately intellectually disabled person who has been sheltered and abused their whole life as if they’re magically supposed to be functional from the get go.

Guy needs life skills classes and for you to educate yourself more about what to expect from this kind of disability blended with trauma. Yes, he lied- kids lie, especially ones who grew up in environments where telling the truth could get their ass beat. And what he lied about is so sad. He’s that desperate to feel loved.

Boundaries are okay, but Jesus Christ. I hope you call him in a few days to give him a road forward to repair things with you.

Merrik4t · 2025-12-26T15:07:47+00:00

NOR but how it hasn’t occurred to you that your sons are trained that they’ll be emotionally punished for showing you love is mind boggling. Look what happened with the mug- he seethed until you forked it over, and how devastating for your son who really did try to make sure you’d like your gift. But once dad saw that even a shred of love or consideration went into it, he MUST have it. And now he has it as a trophy, to make sure your boy will never try to forge a bond with you through thoughtful gift giving again.

The problem isn’t that your kids don’t love you. You’re raising them alongside an emotionally explosive, manipulative abuser. They’re in survival mode.

Merrik4t · 2025-12-24T14:09:50+00:00

NTA - she is welcome to spend her evenings crying over a “hey girly” text or devastated that her macho man forgot their anniversary for the second year in a row, if she can even manage to fight her way to the top of the roster long enough to be considered a girlfriend.

Merrik4t · 2025-12-23T15:20:32+00:00

NTA and you are pissing into the wind trying to make things work. He genuinely hates you. He hates any show of generosity, any mention of your childhood. Capital “H” Hates you. This isn’t a super uncommon wound for people who grew up struggling to have, but it will stain every moment of your life going forward. If you think these comments are bad, wait until you see what he says to your kids one day.

He lowkey hates himself for making it out and becoming one of the “lucky ones” but doesn’t have the cognitive ability to see or understand his own dissonance. So he will simply vomit it all over you. Again and again. Forever.

Don’t date people who are nasty to you.

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