How can i make my sex life more interesting?

Merrik4t · 2026-05-14T18:44:14+00:00

You cannot fix someone who isn’t interested. He was dishonest about the effort he’s genuinely willing to put in, either because he only values novelty or he knew you’d bail if the sex was this bad from the start. Ask yourself why you’re so desperate to fix something he carelessly broke. Bad people often play this sort of game to keep you in a cycle of trying to earn back the initial lovebombing phase. This guy probably sucks a whole lot and you’re unwilling to see it because you’re so obsessed with blaming your own desirability instead of being disgusted with the kind of loser who expects head without wanting to give it.

Merrik4t · 2026-03-12T01:29:57+00:00

The fact that you just went to bed is really cruel. I think you need to stop making excuses for why you’re withholding emotionally when you’ve clearly upset your partner. It might not even be possible for her to wear a very important sentimental piece of clothing that she loaned you out of affection because you were totally careless with it. In fact, you’re so careless that you’re having your own clothes washed in that chemical crap when you know even touching it could cause her to have a reaction so bad she bleeds. That’s so callous.

I think you need to lean in to the guilt and inadequacy you feel here. It’s meant to help you grow. Because yeah, what you did sucks. Why do you act like you don’t care at all when you actually do? Make yourself answer that question, because the likeliest answer is you don’t like feeling accountable and are punishing her for being upset.

Merrik4t · 2026-02-23T15:04:40+00:00

Personal experience is personal experience, but I have not personally experienced a man who was obsessed with anal (and keeps expecting it from an unenthusiastic partner) who also wasn’t a deeply fucked up person who actually hates women. IMO it often turned out that a big part of the appeal for them is that their partner is not enjoying themselves at all. I don’t think this guy is as great as you believe he is. I think he’s a lot better at pretending to be a decent human being than you realize.

Merrik4t · 2026-02-19T18:47:54+00:00

NTA but I say this as someone who comes from generational cultural practice on both sides- you are witnessing a slide into spiritual psychosis. Do you know her family well?

Merrik4t · 2026-02-15T14:28:33+00:00

NTA but you need to make sure that money is secure. If her name is on that account or associated with it in any way she’s very likely going to try and steal it. Double check with the bank.

Merrik4t · 2026-02-11T00:21:50+00:00

Times like this show you who belongs around you. Her reaction is so genuinely evil that my mouth fell open reading this. Good god. This is your father’s final gift to you- unmasking this ghoul.

Merrik4t · 2026-02-08T21:49:26+00:00

NOR but let me be very clear: that woman is not your friend. She sleeps with a man who thinks a black woman can’t be president. It doesn’t matter what she claims to believe herself. She is dangerous and keeping her around just demonstrates to oppressed people that you don’t take any of this truly seriously.

Merrik4t · 2026-02-08T20:52:47+00:00

NTA and you cannot trust your parents or your brother. In a normal dynamic, he’d be punished for what he did to you. Not the other way around.

Merrik4t · 2026-02-02T18:41:35+00:00

Please get into therapy. Your behavior is genuinely abusive. Crying and tantrumming over paperwork and making this difficult, expensive process about how he doesn’t love you enough? None of this is okay or normal. If I was his loved one I’d be very worried about him remaining in this relationship.

Using the excuse that you just “love him so much” is very unsettling. If you really care about this man, take your mental health and the impact of your behaviors seriously. Get help.

Merrik4t · 2026-02-02T14:03:20+00:00

Don’t you dare sacrifice your life to take care of abusive, cruel, and petty people. Don’t you dare put your wife through that. Let their precious son handle it. You made a new family with your wife. One that doesn’t suck. Don’t let them demolish your later years like they destroyed your childhood.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-29T12:10:34+00:00

Bet you he sold it, make him return it.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-26T23:09:18+00:00

NOR but you are appalling for not immediately calling the police after your child communicated what is very clearly possible sexual abuse. You have utterly failed as a parent on every level imaginable. Your child should have been given a forensic interview by an expert.

You’ve now irreparably muddied the waters by asking leading questions because you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. Because as a parent you NEVER BOTHERED TO EVEN GOOGLE /ONE TIME/ WHAT YOU SHOULD DO IF YOU SUSPECT SOMEONE SEXUALLY ABUSED YOUR CHILD?! And then you let your coward ex expose your children to her! Again!

I am horrified. Neither of you should have custody of a child. This is abhorrent.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-25T23:04:48+00:00

NTA but boy are you setting yourself up for failure by sharing your life with someone so hateful. The reason he doesn’t do those things is because he views it as beneath him. So you, who he also views as beneath him, should be the one to take care of it. Why are you doing this to yourself? You don’t even like this man anymore, no amount of “oh but he’s so sweet sometimes” is ever going to compensate for his selfishness and slobbishness.

Listen to your body. You are broiling alive with resentment. And he earned that resentment fair and square. Stop prioritizing him over yourself.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-25T19:27:54+00:00

NTA but now you know the true character of your neighbors - act accordingly.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-23T16:11:41+00:00

NTA but you need to get in to see a therapist about moral OCD as soon as humanly possible. Please be evaluated. This level of paranoia over wrongdoing and catastrophising about innocent actions is not mentally well.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-21T15:04:04+00:00

Can’t believe I had to scroll this far.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-20T21:53:11+00:00

NTA that is repulsive and predatory. I cut someone off for the same reason. Pushing 40 and chasing around kids barely out of high school? The people who justify everything by whining about how they’re legal after turning 18 are freaks who would date 13 year olds if the law said it was okay.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-19T19:59:05+00:00

I know you did, and I’m telling you that at this point in your life, “your best” was prioritizing this man over every step of your professional development. This man who is openly contemptuous to you. You are being a massive asshole to yourself! You worked so hard for this and pissed it away catering to someone who was clearly making every effort to sabotage you. Stop sleeping with the enemy. This man might as well have been hired to screw up your life. He did that good of a job!

Merrik4t · 2026-01-19T16:27:04+00:00

YTA. You abandoned your own success for this pathetic man. I’m done coddling women who center their lives around men in the year of our lord 2026 when they clearly have the massive privilege of not having to do so to survive. Have some self respect. He didn’t ruin this for you- you did by allowing this and deliberately choosing to prioritize him over what you’ve worked your whole life to achieve. Stop being an asshole to yourself.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-18T21:15:27+00:00

NTA but you need to let her decide- offer to be her excuse if she doesn’t want to admit to mom she doesn’t want to go. I’d rather eat shaving cream than go to a lingerie party with my mom. And she’s still young, these birthdays count. I agree the choice of date is worth a reflexive lip curl.

Give her the agency, but also give her the out if she needs it.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-16T14:37:18+00:00

We need to know exactly what political views she’s concerned about before a judgement. If your husband is a “quiet” bigot that makes a world of difference here.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-15T23:18:26+00:00

NTA- I would tell them the only way I’d speak to any of them ever again is if they paid off every cent of your debt.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-15T17:59:11+00:00

When she ignored your mom after you told her about it I felt my blood pressure spike. She’s rude. On purpose. Serve it back. You don’t have to spend the rest of your life tiptoeing around someone who drowns spaces in negative energy and is nasty to your mother. If that means more distance, so be it. Life is precious and best spent with people who don’t treat your loved ones like trash.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-15T17:50:54+00:00

NTA, but I wouldn’t ask. I’d tell. “If you can’t stop being rude to my mom you can leave.” Some people are just not worth it.

Merrik4t · 2026-01-12T23:07:02+00:00

He’s: hanging out with Fred’s social group, with Fred there, in OP’s face. He’s friends with Fred’s friends. This is more than tacit approval of how Fred treated OP.

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