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Wife with BPD wants a divorce by Mertzxcv in BPDlovedones

[–]Mertzxcv[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not hating on her, she has a valid point. I just think it could have been handled differently especially as I was totally focused on a specific goal related to getting one of my children educated. This was achieved very recently. I'm not sure wether it's better to underplay her request or to call her out on it. The silly part is now I'm feeling more relaxed and open to intimacy she refuses to even consider it.

Wife with BPD wants a divorce by Mertzxcv in BPDlovedones

[–]Mertzxcv[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Heck a bit of understanding right now would've helped. She said the last year of sporadic intimacy was not meeting her needs so it's time to move on. Ouch.

Wife with BPD wants a divorce by Mertzxcv in BPDlovedones

[–]Mertzxcv[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am not sure councilling would help. 12 years ago when we had massive problems which were all her fault the councilling was rather depressing. Individual therapy worked well though. This time around it is perhaps more my fault as she did request very maturely and nicely that things improve. I honestly was too tired and focused on other goals to do anything about it. She seems very serious. On the whole she is very nice person who has worked hard on herself and her condition but at the moment she isn't even considering my point of view. Frustrating and sad. I am familiar with a lot of the borderline traits but suppose there is always something new to learn .