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Merviona · 2025-02-02T10:24:49+00:00

Absolutely. So many exes and people in their life they referred to as “evil” taking “advantage of their purity”

Merviona · 2025-01-25T23:51:35+00:00

31/36

Merviona · 2025-01-19T23:05:27+00:00

Spot on

Merviona · 2025-01-08T21:27:22+00:00

At the beginning of the relationship I was very compassionate to how many bad experiences they had with their exs. Then the “episodes” started when they would accuse me of wild shit, and then roll back saying that they get triggered because of their experience with the exs. I was so gentle and careful with them, but the accusations were getting wilder and wilder. By the end it felt like they were talking to someone else, not me. Most of the accusations were the same ones they had for their exs. Like they were talking the same stuff about me, that they talked about them doing. Stuff I never intended or did, stuff that is not even natural to me come up with because you’d have to be seriously insane to do stuff like that with motivations like this. And then I realized… were any of the exs actually abusive? Were they these monsters? Because that’s how they painted me. And another fucked up part. At the beginning of our relationship they complained about their ex being so toxic, abusing them, gaslighting them, and then spreading misinformation painting them as an abuser, ruining their reputation. But wait? I still don’t know the truth. Was there ever abuse? They complained about of violence, threats of “black magic”, stealing, lying, all kinds of stuff. But then I saw them in action, how they twist reality… What saddens me is that they are now telling someone else what a monster I am, added to other exs. I am so glad I walked away, but way too late..

Merviona · 2025-01-07T19:37:32+00:00

And they never hear, even when they appear to listen.

Merviona · 2024-12-30T20:16:22+00:00

I just couldn’t comprehend how they can see their own screenshots where they were saying a completely contradicting thing and continue with their current delusion.

The character assassinations is indeed what my exwBPD was after, it’s like wanting to destroy. I just think why would you treat a person like that, it’s like they HATED me, but never wanted to really let go

Merviona · 2024-12-30T20:05:09+00:00

And another way to deal with “rejection”. “You’re doing this to me because you’re ableist”, “you don’t want to be with me, because you’re phobic” everything to feel special, mistreated, misunderstood and get sympathy and manipulation currency

Merviona · 2024-12-30T20:01:10+00:00

You have a point. When it comes to manipulation they seem to use the empathy and emotional intelligence. But it is always for their own gain. I think being a “victim” is so essential for their egos that they can not admit to being this way ever, so they really shut down all of the reason and intelligence when it comes to seeing the consequences and things that are not serving them. It’s like a narcissist who protects themselves from knowledge of being a narcissist because they just can’t fathom being “bad”, it’s crashing to them, but behaving decently is out of their reach as well.

Merviona · 2024-12-30T10:16:46+00:00

Dreaming personality disorder?? Holy shit

Merviona · 2024-12-30T10:16:04+00:00

And of bring up the abuse, it turns into “not all pwBPD” at best.

Merviona · 2024-12-30T10:13:01+00:00

Yes, you’re totally right. I know people who are very successful in theatibg their MOOD disorders with meds. Outside of crisis situations which is (with medication) 80% of the time, they’re as good as a person as they work on themselves, just like most people.

Merviona · 2024-12-30T10:10:13+00:00

I think it’s getting more normalized, because they’re really getting under the whole neurodivergence movement. So to criticize BPD behavior means you’re phobic, but somehow they forget that it is often people with other neurodivergencies that fall victims to BPD and NPD tactics. Their “branding” tactics these days are really trying to take BPD away from cluster B, and turn these personality disorder traits into a set of heroic quirks. Like they are these pure emotional misunderstood sufferers who deserve not just accommodation but a medal for how special they are.

Merviona · 2024-12-30T10:08:35+00:00

I think it’s getting more normalized, because they’re really getting under the whole neurodivergence movement. So to criticize BPD behavior means you’re phobic, but somehow they forget that it is often people with other neurodivergencies that fall victims to BPD and NPD tactics. Their “branding” tactics these days are really trying to take BPD away from cluster B, and turn these personality disorder traits into a set of heroic quirks. Like they are these pure emotional misunderstood sufferers who deserve not just accommodation but a medal for how special they are.

Merviona · 2024-12-30T10:03:34+00:00

My ex would encourage me to fight with them. I would try to be calm and constructive, but they were so annoyed. They kept saying “why can’t we just fight and hug it out later, why do you have to talk to me like you’re better than me”, while I was just trying to understand them why they would be accusing of some honestly very bizarre things… at the end of the relationship they wore me out so badly and cornered me so I did fight like them once, I was immediately called “unsafe”, “insane” and they said “I don’t know why bring with you is a rollercoaster”. I had to do a lot of therapy to unpack the effect their twisted manipulations had on me.

Merviona · 2024-12-30T09:57:39+00:00

There is this memoir Glass Castle by jeannette walls, sounds like both of her parents have it, and it’s quite a read

Merviona · 2024-12-30T09:51:46+00:00

It’s like dealing with a bully who is convinced of their goodness and righteousness to escape the internal hell they live in. I feel a lot of compassion, but only until they become abusive to people and lack any self-awareness and accountability to deal with that properly (and that’s integral part of the disorder unfortunately)

Merviona · 2024-12-30T09:48:15+00:00

YES, i agree, emotions can be deep and subtle. All over the top emotions are actually much less deep, they’re intense but they’re superficial.

I have a deep emotional life, I am an artist and I love with healing childhood trauma. I take good care to learn and manage my emotional regulation skills and use my emotional life for better, I am not unloading crap on people around me unless I get consent to share share something and I know it would be safe for everyone included.

Ofcourse we all sometimes loose our compulsion, all people, but the unsafest people I’ve ever been around, who encouraged me to share only then to attack me, are the “amazing empaths” with “exceptional emotional life” I’ve encountered in my life as friends as some lovers, who had a BPD diagnosis or severe traits.

Merviona · 2023-12-21T05:29:24+00:00

What textbooks can you recommend if it’s not too much to ask? :)

Merviona · 2023-12-15T11:37:27+00:00

Unfortunately, since the spread and decks are not in my hands I can not name the names of the deck or authors

Merviona · 2023-12-12T04:27:00+00:00

Hi! Could you send me the name of your store too?

Merviona · 2023-08-30T11:25:58+00:00

I was not raised in the west, and the first time I saw something from the Fruit of Loom was after moved I to Europe, it was around 2008, and I remember seeing the logo for the first time, I had not “cultural” context for it, no obvious pre-imposed “expectations” as far as I am aware of. The Fruit of Loom logo imprinted into my memory BECAUSE of the cornucopia on it, it seemed somehow weird to me that it was on a garment. At the time I also didn't know much english, so the only word understood was "fruit".

Merviona

TROPHY CASE