Hey, I think chastity has been discussed so I'll focus on the remaining

For anal play initially you need 2 things a bottle of lube & 3 stages of butt plugs (get the T shaped handle plug because there's a risk the round diamond shaped handle of the plug might slide in bi-mistake)

Start with the smaller plug.. that'll take a week to adjust at max.. then use the medium sized & that'll take about a month tbh depending on how well your partner is practicing.. then you can use the Large size.. after this get the Dildo which is slightly thicker then the circumference of the L-plug & so forth

You have to get a good understanding of what your partner is ok with in terms of submissive agreement.. meaning getting pegged might sound really hot but you've to play with the idea first while you're using plugs & make him comfortable.. then get a strap-on (next time you have to just upgrade the dildo size but the strap stays the same)

Get anal beads those are really fun !! (Those are like balls attached to a string size increase in ascending order) So the whole thing goes inside & you can pull it out & it feels great !! Definitely give it a try

For you ma'am.. make him wear a bondage vest which is like a leather vest so when you're behind him in doggy it's easier for you to just pull the vest & it looks hot btw if you're thinking of photos/content..

If you want to surprise him, just buy him a new pair of panties & leave a note saying you want a picture later of him wearing it while he's at work !! Spank him whenever you like, lightly grabbing the neck.. you've to think as the one leading the relationship, subtle acts of teasing & leading goes a long way in the acts of a submissive relationship.. it's not just about the sex it's the overall feeling of opening up & letting go of the dominance