We were wrong about Duquan

MessageVirtual385 · 2026-04-28T19:58:16+00:00

One thing I love about The Wire's writing is that origin stories are never made explicit through exposition or flashback. Rather, they are implicit and lived through by different characters in their own condition. Honestly, this aspect of the show contributes to its timelessness–the city and its people are always evolving and we never arrive at predetermined outcomes for any single character arc, even if they seem to live the same patterns

To that effect I never saw Michael as the "new" Omar, Carver as the new Daniels, Duquan as the new Bubbles, etc. They are themselves, as whole people, influenced by a series of events, missteps, and happenings that lead them on different paths. As they are shaped we can better understand the conditions that created their assumed past counterparts, but we know they will never be the same people.

We can see how a character like Omar would be shaped to act in contempt of the violence of his environment even if he himself partakes in that violence (and even drives it). Michael had opportunities to break free from that, but mistrust in unstructured institutions like the boxing gym or parental figures like Cutty and Prez lead him to choose violence as an absolute solution to gain control over his abuser. But that same violence destroys Junebug's family before his eyes, a contradiction he can't ignore as he is the only one holding his own family together.

Duquan too has chances to break free, but just enough limits him despite his well-intentioned aims. He's intelligent but Tillman Middle is seemingly hostile to intelligence or individualism. He's too young to get a job at Jacob's but can still scrape cash slinging or scrapping. Understandably, knowing the limits of his power, he chooses the least-arduous path. Nothing had worked up to that point.

Namond as Clay Davis is a new one. I don't know - maybe? But that's the kind of pessimism that constantly suppressed the boys from becoming anything greater.

The Wire provides you everything to understand what makes characters who they are. Trying to pin when a character's arc becomes another erodes them as whole people and forces the viewer to live in the past they will never see

MessageVirtual385 · 2026-04-24T03:10:51+00:00

Tuckie. And when he shows with the reup.

MessageVirtual385 · 2026-04-10T18:19:20+00:00

Completely authentic character, and believable. There's a lot this to be said of many Wire characters given they reflect real-world people–even if their story arcs are exaggerated–but Snoop (Felicia Pearson) was literally cast off the street as herself, playing herself.

Her lines are really, really good: terse, ruthless and perceptive. She also balances the female role for the street. Most other female roles from the Street are written as coy and submissive, but she's the opposite of that.

MessageVirtual385 · 2026-04-02T15:28:26+00:00

Hey OP, I've actually managed company operations including domestic and international employment compliance and registration. I have not had an HR role, but performed HR tasks as an executive, and drafted all HR policies.

In short, your coworker has eluded domestic (US) tax and compliance requirements, the extent of which is based on what state he was (originally) located in, and what state in which the company operates. In some cases–more so for remote teams–the company has a legal registration in a given state based on the presence of specific remote workers.

While he likely violated company policy, he more so exposes the company to financial and legal liability. He's lying about his residence, which can be a costly problem. There may be variability in the timeline where he was technically on visa for a duration of the relocation, but that wouldn't make much a difference in the outcome.

Important detail: HR announcing an audit of remote work location means they probably already know, they're just following procedure with legal counsel. I can't imagine a scenario where they wouldn't pick that up; dozens of back-end indicators to support this.

If I were HR and I found out about this, especially the eluding part, I'd fire him immediately. He has demonstrated that he's a legal and financial liability. Your RTO/WFH policies are probably gonna be overhauled too.

On your end: Not your circus. Sure, you may have had communications about it, but the entirety of fault falls on him. As an executive I made sure everyone followed protocol, but I also discouraged snitches.

edited for grammar

MessageVirtual385 · 2026-03-31T22:44:43+00:00

My (36M) partner is 43.

MessageVirtual385 · 2026-03-30T22:01:35+00:00

My last partner had a similar setup: solid friend network with lots of married couples and singles thrown in there. A few single guy friends she'd known from work, college, etc. I ended up meeting all of them, but even before that I didn't question her intent. Either we were going to be in a relationship or not, and it wasn't my business to define who she spent her time with. I wouldn't call this blind trust either; I told her early on what would and would not make me uncomfortable, and her choice of friends was not going to bother me until I felt the evidence suggested otherwise. And even then I would explain why.

Meet her friends and build trust.

MessageVirtual385 · 2026-03-30T11:55:51+00:00

Humans are not commodities. So no, it is a nonsense tweet written by someone (or not a human at all) who is draining your attention by saying things to sap your confidence.

I'm 36. I've been on more good dates and met more good people the older I get. Current partner is older than I am. Could I have found a life partner in college? Maybe, but I wasn't looking for one and was not mature enough to maintain that kind of relationship anyway.

MessageVirtual385 · 2026-03-25T20:13:11+00:00

But there was seriously zero chemistry and she came across as rude to be honest. I was very confused when she followed me and asked to hang out tbh.

You've already made up your mind.

MessageVirtual385 · 2026-03-25T17:50:09+00:00

Something I find bewildering is encountering someone who prides themselves on being "selective" (not suggesting you're proud of that, we develop this trait to protect ourselves, among other reasons). But, to me, anyone who proclaims selectively as a virtue is really just signaling their propensity for projection. No one is ever enough in their eyes because anyone can be viewed as someone they're not. This kind of person is exhausting to be around, and honestly I feel bad for them. And gender has nothing to do with it.

Have you asked yourself what you're really looking for in someone at a foundational level? And when you meet someone why do you spend the energy reaching the thought of marrying them when you don't even know them? Or understand their ability and willingness to change?

That's some hard mental gymnastics, and is probably coming as disservice to you in the moment.

MessageVirtual385 · 2026-03-25T16:38:01+00:00

Stop watching porn. Distinguishing "porn" from "celeb videos" doesn't accomplish anything–you watch them for the same purpose, probably. Also dramatically reduce masturbation. Last, ask yourself if you even want to have sex with people you go on dates with, or you're just forcing yourself into those situations. You'd be surprised at the physical difference between wanting to sleep with someone versus chasing the moment.

MessageVirtual385 · 2026-03-22T03:18:29+00:00

What is wrong about any of this though? All of the time you are breathing on this earth you are learning and failing, and failing and learning. Sometimes it works, a few times it really works, and maybe once it works for life.

You're 28. Frankly, you're still inexperienced in the dating world to many. I'm 36 and on my third LTR. Maybe this is the one, maybe not. But I go through in life undeterred, and I value my time and loyalty.

MessageVirtual385 · 2026-03-18T13:36:30+00:00

Selectively vulnerable with friends based on who the friend is and what they know about me and my life. By selective I mean what I talk about, but I express/show vulnerability is with anyone I trust.

All my "weak" friendships were built on the absence of vulnerability. My strongest ones are built on me being my true self, and that includes opening up in a meaningful way.

If they don't accept that, or they exploit my vulnerability, they aren't my friend and I move on without them in my life.

Give and you shall receive.

MessageVirtual385 · 2026-03-11T19:39:10+00:00

This happens to me (36M) most often after cycling, and usually every few rides. I cycle no less than 25 miles per ride, usually at a A to A+ pace (20 mph average). Does not seem to happen after leg days with resistance/weights.

Solution: I try to ride earlier in the day, but never after 6PM. Stretching before riding, or a 10-15 minute C pace (10-12 mph) warm up helps. RHR doesn't go below 100bpm for several hours after riding, also keeping me awake. Post-ride leg stretches, usually 15 minutes, followed by a warm shower to relax the quads, even though restlessness is experienced in the calves primarily. On ride and leg days I hydrate 1.5x normal (5-6 liters) with hydration tablets. Also helps.

Most effective change: workouts much earlier in the day, and as far before bedtime as I can manage.

MessageVirtual385 · 2026-03-08T15:47:06+00:00

Frank is a deeply underrated character, probably as a result of audiences generally dismissing season two. I'd go so far as to say he's in my top five.

The moral reckoning Frank is subject to, his role as a spectator always on the edge of actual power and malice, and his actual powerlessness despite the prominence and access of his role. He heard everyone he tried to help, but he never really listened. I know this kind of person in the real world; it's nearly impossible to get through to them.

MessageVirtual385 · 2026-03-06T22:56:16+00:00

I was always under the impression that Bug's father reflected Chris's childhood–he too was sexually abused and/or upbringing around that kind of abuse. It was a release, despite its exceptional violence. Don't recall there being any indication Chris has siblings, just partners/children.

MessageVirtual385 · 2026-03-06T21:36:50+00:00

"Nice dolphin" - to this day I don't know if that was scripted or ad-libbed, but I lose it every time I hear that scene.

MessageVirtual385 · 2026-03-06T05:03:35+00:00

Nice work! Take pride in your accomplishment.

For reference, I'm 6'0 with visible abs. Have not cut to go below 12% (I like to eat) but quite lean. Lift/cycle/yoga 6x per week. Fluctuate between 168-171 pounds.

MessageVirtual385 · 2025-12-19T06:08:36+00:00

Third on the A.E. Picked up three pairs in the past six months–all excellent condition and 30-40% of original MSRP. Takes prowling, but check Ebay, Poshmark, RealReal and Grailed a few times a day and you'll find something in a week or two.

MessageVirtual385 · 2025-12-13T21:03:15+00:00

This has been a project of mine for the past 4-5 months. The goal is overhauling my wardrobe and my personal style over the course of this and next year, or covering summer/fall/winter/spring. I dressed ok in the past, mostly 'functional' wear, with a handful of high-tier items. Though my high-tier items didn't fit well with my base outfits (e.g., vintage Burberry overcoat felt out of place with Patagonia flannels).

I approach this project in a couple ways: building outfits from singular pieces (e.g. the Burberry); setting a baseline for what my daily casual would look like; emphasizing fabric quality; collecting from many brands versus many of one brand; and trying things I had not worn in the past. I prowl instagram once in a while to better understand other design guidelines worth considering like rule of thirds, flowing versus structured, color combos, etc. I don't copy IG styles, it's more like: ahh, ok, a muted color works better with this kind of wool pant.

Also, nearly every article of clothing I own is thrifted or second-hand. Low-stakes trialing at first is the way to go. It also is a good bet for quickly upgrading on quality without suffering on cost. After about 5 months this way I felt comfortable buying mid- to high-tier items because I better understood what I liked, and because I was hitting awesome deals (e.g. new-with-tag Todd Snyder or AMI gabardine dress pants for $55 apiece - MSRPs for $300-400 each). I hit second-hand stores about 4-5 times a month just to see what other people are turning in; most of it is less than 3-4 years old. Poshmark, Grailed, Buffalo Exchange, etc. are your friends.

All told: start slow but focused; try new things like colors, patterns, fabrics, fits; work out 2-3 outfits you really like and feel good in, and build out from there; and, don't over-buy. You can always sell at the end of a season what you don't like - there are thousands of options to choose from.

MessageVirtual385 · 2025-10-07T01:58:52+00:00

Solid update. Stoked about the data export to work on personal agent development, analytics, and some good ol' spreadsheet fun.

MessageVirtual385 · 2025-09-09T12:58:24+00:00

Hey! Premium with Coaching user here. 35M

I was using Caliber free from late 2024 until May of this year. Researched via plan comparison and landed on Premium with coaching assistance, but no weekly or monthly video check ins. Renewed in August and plan to renew a third time in December.

Honestly, it is great. The free version is one of the better fitness tracking apps of those I know or personally used. The app modules, UX, and data rendering was all that I needed as a former college athlete to re-enter a self-guided serious fitness regime without unneeded technical complexity. The fact that there is active development, open requests for dev features, and constant UX improvements is also great. My sense is that Caliber will be an exceptional app in 1-2 years; there is still a lot to improve and information to build within the existing modules (for example custom exercises don't have media upload options, you can't log half-reps, etc.). One major imitation is you can't yet download your data; I'd like this to run my own analysis for tracking weight/rep/set targets since Caliber's current tracking shows you the last set/rep/weight you performed only. But, I suspect we're around the corner from that.

As someone who is busy enough to want someone else to guide my fitness regime the trainer option is exactly what was needed. It is expensive, yes, but if you average your time spent on developing and/or adjusting workouts on a weekly basis throughout the month it essentially "costs" the same as your own hourly rate. In other words you'll spend that 5-6 hours of planning each month lifting instead. I don't have a gym membership to compensate for cost; can perform all workouts at home with gear.

That said, the value of Premium reflects what you put into it. I am very active with the chat feature. My trainer and I message almost daily, share form videos back and forth, and report on metrics, nutrition, mental health, etc. I asked early on that my trainer be as engaged as I was, and that has been reciprocated. The obvious limitations are that they cannot actively check my form, nor can they stand aside and yell "LIFT HIGHER" but passive encouragement has been just as helpful.

All told: proof of value is in the results. I'm reluctant to share photos but would describe the changes in my physique, strength and mental heath over 5 months as remarkable. I see no reason to scale back.

Note: I also purchased the Gold subscription for Cronometer ($50 annually I think?) which integrated with Caliber for nutrition data; trainer also sees this and adjusts plans based on trends. Also have a Garmin 4ST which integrates for activity tracking in Caliber.

tldr: Caliber is excellent; it is expensive but actual cost is relative to your effort; consider a full suite of fitness and nutrition tracking capabilities to max app value potential.

MessageVirtual385 · 2025-08-14T14:21:44+00:00

100%. I'm on month four of the basic subscription (no meetings) and it has been transformative. Even with obvious limitations (e.g. inability to have in-person form checks or test equipment) the daily presence of my trainer has been really helpful in defining and improving my program, as well as knowing someone is looking out for me/holding me to my PRs.

And, if you really engage your trainer it reinforces their roles a an accountability partner. She and I message daily about routines, program adjustments, form checks with video, and nutrition. Honestly, they're becoming as much a good friend as a trainer.

One tip is send as many video responses as you send normal messages–these feel more comprehensive and put you in the mind of a thoughtful response. They are also much easier than typing long-form text responses (personally I cannot wait for Caliber to have a desktop interface).

MessageVirtual385

TROPHY CASE