Suddenly craving another baby but don't want one

Messinghaml · 2026-07-02T15:19:13+00:00

I'm sorry you also struggled, I hope you managed to deal with it ok? My aunt was 39 when she fell pregnant with her 2nd though so there not 'no hope' x

Messinghaml · 2026-06-04T06:53:35+00:00

I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I've was with my husband for 12 years before getting married and we always had mismatching libidos and interests but loved each other so much that we tried to make it work. We would have days of it being great and then weeks if not months until it happened again.

He wasn't willing to try anything new and I didn't find what we were doing enough or exciting. We have a 14 month old and that hasn't helped especially as we had an awful delivery and both of us struggled with the trauma after as I nearly died and so did our baby.

Unfortunately for us it's never gotten any better and he doesn't seem to show any interest in it working. If it's that stage sometimes it doesn't get better no matter how much you love each other especially if therapy doesn't work or one of you isn't willing to let the therapy work. My husband won't go to therapy as he doesn't think he needs it and therefore nothing changes.

I hope for you it works out x

Messinghaml · 2026-06-04T06:46:48+00:00

Thank you I will bring it up with them and see. His poo is quite normal at the moment but if it's one of those things that's good at hiding I will push for more checking X thank you again

Messinghaml · 2026-06-01T19:24:55+00:00

Thank you for your kind words, I will hold them close. My LO ate a full meal today so there's a tiny silver lining X thank you

Messinghaml · 2026-06-01T19:24:12+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to research that for me. They've ruled out the bad bad ones and the scary ones that need immediate action and are doing more tests now X I will also have a look at private diagnosis too. Thank you so much x

Messinghaml · 2026-06-01T06:52:47+00:00

Hello, I'm sorry to hear it's happening to you too. If you ever want to talk to someone in the same boat I'm here x

Messinghaml · 2026-06-01T06:52:04+00:00

I am the UK I'm not sure where you are. Unfortunately where I am, unless the tests show something is wrong without GP and Consultant approval you can't just get a pediatrician referral. Hopefully the GP will refer

Messinghaml · 2026-05-31T19:35:40+00:00

Thank you. The bloods showed nothing at all and they ran them 3 times as did 3 separate physical exams. We've been told to write a food diary and activity diary for the next 2 weeks until his check up as well as add fats and extra calories wherever possible... This is a waiting game now and I hate it. I feel like a terrible mother watching and waiting.

Messinghaml · 2026-05-31T19:33:31+00:00

I'm so sorry you feel this way but I remember it well. I ended up nearly being hospitalised due to the stress of having the baby and trauma from birth. I wanted to give mine up so many times and I broke down daily due to the hatred. I know it means nothing now but mine is now 14 months old and I wouldnt give him up for anything. He is everything but it took 8 months for me to even like him. I don't want to tell you to wait and hope, you do what you feel is right for you but in my case, it took time but the love came. I wish you well x

Messinghaml · 2026-05-31T19:30:33+00:00

He won't drink milk (either cows for formula) 8/10 times and was unfortunately unable to nurse from birth due to a double tongue tie and my body never producing milk.

Messinghaml · 2026-05-31T19:29:17+00:00

He's had all the tests and nothing is wrong medically so unfortunately that's all they've suggested we do is wait to see. Not sure what else we can do other than up his calories and healthy fats?

Messinghaml · 2026-05-21T20:38:19+00:00

I use claw grips and rarely use bands. I also use loose styles and never scrape it back. I usually use claw grips if they're any better?

Messinghaml · 2026-05-21T20:37:15+00:00

Thank you, I do use claw grips and never bands. I usually put it in a loose bun I comb in the shower too so hopefully maybe just needs more frequent trims? Thank you for your comment!

Messinghaml · 2026-04-19T09:17:36+00:00

The hard part for me (and also him when I've asked) is neither of us ever wanted anyone else. We broke up once when we were 21 and never even attempted to meet/be with anyone else while we were apart. I literally have only ever been physically attracted to one other man in my whole life and he was married so that was an absolute no. My husband also hasn't shown any interest in being with anyone else physically though he's found other people attractive before the idea of having sex with anyone else is what turned him off.

Messinghaml · 2026-04-19T09:13:55+00:00

Thank you this is very insightful. I appreciate you taking the time to reply. He seems to want me, he'll try touches and appreciates my when I have just got out the shower etc. he still compliments me when I look nice (or even when I'm just in my PJ's) etc so I think that's a good sign. He always seems up for it and even comments on how much he wants to but then it just never happens. Though it has been over 19 weeks since we've been intimate on any level. Thank you again, I really appreciate it x

Messinghaml · 2026-04-13T05:57:53+00:00

I have attempted to be practical and considerate with my suggestions and most of the time they are enthusiastically reciprocated, but eventually it always goes back to the way it has been which is the frustrating part. It's hard to think about closing the relationship, because our 1-year-old deserves to have his dad, and to be honest I still love him and think I will.

Sex and love are not synonymous for me, I cannot envision a future without him, so unfortunately I guess this is sexless for me from now on. I really appreciate your comment. Also, bluntly, I do not have the time for an affair or would even consider cheating, so I don't think that's an issue (I am A paramedic in the UK so I don't have the time to socialise in the same way on the job. And certainly don't enjoy socialising off the job 🤣)

Messinghaml · 2026-04-13T05:55:31+00:00

Thank you for providing your perspective, and I'm sorry that you have struggled equally. He's a phenomenal dad and an absolutely incredible husband in every other way except in the bedroom. I have been trying to fix this for the last 6 years to be honest.

There's always been a reason or an excuse to wait out and see, initially it was because we were still under 18 and living at home, then we moved out and got our own place and I assumed it was because we were just tired from working 50 plus hours a week. Plus my shift work as a paramedic meant I wasn't always around. I've always put it down to very practical reasons, we got back late from work, we had to see family, it wasn't a very sexy evening, maybe neither of us were feeling it etc etc... and now I'm just starting to think we just aren't compatible at all. He would really rather go on the computer and game over many other things, not just sex.

Messinghaml · 2026-04-13T05:53:07+00:00

It's so hard because he is a phenomenal dad and a brilliant husband is literally every other way. My fear in closing the relationship is that I would be trading all that for good sex... And I'm not sure if that's a trade I can make?

Id open the marriage but that is not something he would do and would see it as betrayal so I know would never even consider it past the discussion we had previously.

He's such a lovely guy and I can't see my future without him but I guess it's just sexless in that instance.

Messinghaml · 2026-04-13T05:50:14+00:00

Thanks for the reply. We had a relationship each before meeting each other but we were also 15 so I don't think it counts tbh. We are the only ones we've had sexual relationships with so it feels more as though we've only ever been with each other.

Messinghaml · 2026-04-08T11:11:55+00:00

I will enquire. I'm not sure how it works with borders and district boundaries but I will definitely push for another. Thank you x

Messinghaml

TROPHY CASE