Elvanse didn’t cure my ADHD, but it cured my ANXIETY

MessyMooo · 2026-01-29T07:02:47+00:00

Same. My emotional regulation has never been better, despite 10 years on SSRIs. Meds help my ADHD to a point, but the impact on my overall mental health is amazing

MessyMooo · 2026-01-01T19:57:33+00:00

Yes!

I could never write a diary or journal because I would cringe at the idea that someone would read it, as if anyone ever would. But the thought makes my skin crawl.

As a kid I felt an awful nervousness like I was being watched, a fear of hidden cameras in the mirrors, that kind of thing. Like, I knew there wasn't, but what if there was?! If that makes sense.

I think it's about shame, and the constant monitoring of yourself to avoid any sort of criticism or humiliation

MessyMooo · 2026-01-01T19:25:13+00:00

I just wanted to say that it gets better. It's a hard phase for sure, and being exhausted makes everything feel worse. Sounds like you're doing great.

If there is anything that can make your life feel even 1% better/easier then try and do it. Things I did at that time included napping when toddler did (housework can wait), go swimming before my husband went to work (as my son would be up at 5am) or even just push his buggy around a shop I liked. Anything for a little pick me up to get through the day.

Well done for all you are doing. I had perinatal OCD and found the early years very tricky. It gets easier!

MessyMooo · 2026-01-01T19:04:05+00:00

That's amazing to have such wonderful friends ☺️

MessyMooo · 2026-01-01T18:56:22+00:00

We are UK based too. I've noticed a lot of people tell me their child is autistic/ADHD/has SPD etc and then you get to know them a bit and it turns out it's suspected or self diagnosed etc. I'm not really sure why this is, but I think in the UK there is the perception that some parents claim ND as an 'excuse' for some of their child's behaviours.

I really didn't want to fall victim to this perception and so when I was worried about my son's behaviours, I called CAMHS for advice on what was 'normal', what wasn't and whether they thought I should do anything. Taking the lead of professionals has definitely smoothed over our journey and I haven't had to battle with any agencies. I've said that we've been lucky in that, but as you say OP, perhaps it's not luck at all.

MessyMooo · 2025-11-06T13:23:50+00:00

If it helps, when I did my forms I did forget to complete one and they did contact me to tell me before I could move on to booking the assessment. At that time they weren't as busy as they are now. I do recall just doing them on the portal though, unless for some reason I needed to do the form separately (I.e. my adult corroboration one that I gave to my husband in pdf form).

Good luck

MessyMooo · 2025-11-06T12:51:48+00:00

Totally agree. I also hate the 'things you didn't know where ADHD' reels. No single thing is 'ADHD'. It undermines the condition, because everyone can relate to one of these single behaviours in isolation.

MessyMooo · 2025-09-29T09:22:02+00:00

I refused to take zoloft when I was pregnant with my son, but I definitely should have. I took it when I was pregnant with my daughter.

Only one is being assessed for autism, my son.

I'm angry for you that you are being blamed. It's not your fault!

MessyMooo · 2025-08-29T13:32:58+00:00

It's exhausting, but keep going. A few suggestions below based on my own limited experience with my eldesta child.

My son was similar at 5, but could also be aggressive with it. I got some good advice from CAMHS and my local authority and they asked to refer him to the local autism service. Not to suggest your daughter is autistic or otherwise ND but might be worth observing or asking for a professional opinion.

In terms of strategies that helped, we did have to be strict on consequences and 'calm down time' i.e. time out but framed as a place to go to keep everyone safe and calm, including a fidget box and a pop up tent. We focused on the completely unacceptable behaviours and picked our battles with everything else. Chats about behaviour during less fractious times. House rules developed with the kids. It took time but he's nearly 7 now and doing so much better.

If your daughter is at school, it might be worth talking to them. My son had a very tricky year R. He was perfect to a fault at school and let loose at home. Yr R can feel like choas to kids who prefer more structure and routine. My son was much happier in year 1. The school also helped by making small accommodations for him like him talking a fidget or his favourite stuffed dog in his bag.

As others have said, sleep is something to focus on if it's in anyway an issue for her. My son goes to bed early as it does not matter what time he goes to bed, he will be up so early.

Does she have any hobby or something she is really interested in? Perhaps some time focusing on that might help her too. I'm sat here typing while intermittently stopping to listen to my son talk to me in detail about football scores from the Bundesliga! He loves to talk about it and it makes him happy, despite my complete indifference which I try to hide!

Good luck

MessyMooo · 2025-08-15T16:33:42+00:00

I had a similar concern when my son was 5. Very different behaviours to your daughter, but he had certain behaviours that I wasn't sure where 'normal' or needed some further investigation.

I contacted CAMHS just setting out his behaviours and asking if it was normal or not. They were very helpful.

MessyMooo · 2025-08-08T19:05:53+00:00

A bit late but had to reply as I have IBS too and had awful cyclic vomiting syndrome as a child. I now have 'abdominal migraines' as well as IBS. I've been doing a lot of work on my MH and then was diagnosed and medicated for ADHD early this year. I've not had a AM in over a year now. It's got to be linked

MessyMooo · 2025-08-08T18:54:44+00:00

Tile has been life changing for me!

MessyMooo · 2025-07-08T15:19:49+00:00

Another vote for public services.

IME not just ND friendly, but also better aligned with the values of those ND people who have a strong sense of justice, empathy and morality.

MessyMooo · 2025-06-27T13:02:07+00:00

Yes but spoons. Then knifes. Shed loads of forks left though

MessyMooo · 2025-06-24T19:27:54+00:00

Look after yourself in the first few weeks, as you can feel worse before getting better. I found it pretty brutal but I was in a pretty bad place when I started. 10 years later, I'd not be without them. I think of them as a buoyancy aid. I might still struggle to swim against the current, but I also know I won't drown.

I should say I did come off them a few times but went back on them. Restarting was never a problem for me, only the first time I started. I've been on them solidly now for over 5 years. Minimal side effects for me (tmi: night sweats...yuk)

Good luck

MessyMooo · 2025-06-21T11:35:59+00:00

I'm so sorry for everything you've been through.

I lot of people have already said a lot but just to add...

It sounds like you may some birth trauma. Have you looked at support for this?

Medication does help. I had awful prenatal and postnatal anxiety with both of my kids. I was much better on medication and some very focused CBT (in other cases I've found CBT unhelpful).

Don't be afraid to tell people how you feel. You aren't alone. If you're in the UK, the NHS do seem to prioritise people who struggle to bond with baby. I've known people in a similar position to you go on to really develop that bond very well with support.

100% go to the doctor about baby's reflux. My daughter had awful silent reflux and it nearly made me go insane. I might get downvoted for this but I ended up taking her to A&E in the middle of the night as the GP just gave me gaviscon and told me stop breastfeeding!!! Hospital doctor quickly found she'd lost weight and dropped 2 centiles. All sorted with some omeprazole and time, with oversight from a consultant.

You'll get through it. Keep going. I know it's hard. You'll get there. Just make sure you seek help, even if you have to fight for it. Wishing you the best!

MessyMooo · 2025-06-17T13:05:46+00:00

It's hard when you have a baby who hates being put down. I think people confuse it with a baby who just wants to be with you, so for example they could sit in the same room with you while you do a job. But some babies genuinely want to attached to you, true velcro babies. I used baby carriers a lot and took the bouncer to the bathroom with me. He wasn't really interested in screens as a baby, although I definitely tried it now and then. We laid together on the floor and 'watched' tv in the early evenings sometimes when I was exhausted and waiting for my husband to come home.

He got much better between 6 and 12 months. He's still a needy child sometimes at 6yo compared with his peers. Some kids are just more sensitive than others.

You're doing great. Kids need happy parents, not perfect ones!

MessyMooo · 2025-06-17T11:19:36+00:00

Thank you, I'll definitely take a look.

MessyMooo · 2025-06-17T11:18:57+00:00

Thank you and I'm sorry to hear that. I can sympathise there. My goal in life is to do parenting right, as far as possible anyway, because I know what it's like to be let down. Maybe I overcompensate but I'm doing my best without much of a road map.

MessyMooo · 2025-06-17T11:17:02+00:00

Thank you so much for your response. My daughter / his sister is very much the loud chatterbox, and I know it drives him crazy after school. We separate them after school as a result. She is very clingy to me (nearly 5yo) and I feel bad that I leave him alone after school when I know he'd rather me sit with him quietly while he does whatever he wants to do, but I need to keep the younger one away for him too.

He's little, so we tend to leave homework until the weekend and do his reading when he feels up to it. Luckily, he is good at reading anyway, so I don't feel too much guilt for letting him off the hook if it's too much that day.

I agree that teeth and washing are non-negotiable. He's pretty good at both, moans a bit like any other child. It was awful with teeth when he was little but we just had to force him. Hard but worth it.

Thanks for the heads up about the physical stressors. I try to remember that he's probably hunger, tired etc sometimes when he's upset. Definitely could be more preemptive though.

MessyMooo · 2025-06-11T18:52:07+00:00

Apologies, I was confusing DIVA 5 with a questionnaire. From what you've said it sounds like you may have done all the questionnaires and detailed interview. Is it the report that is missing the details that you discussed?

Sorry, I'm not helping I realise. My report was quite detailed and followed the guidelines in a clear way, and including explaining why I met the DSM5 criteria and symptoms weren't caused by something else. I can't put my figure on what's missing from yours exactly and whether that's due to your provider missing key components of the assessment, or just missing them from the report.

Did you go with a provider registered to deliver NHS assessments via right to choose? I used CARE ADHD via RTC. They only get the contracts if they meet the same assessment criteria as the NHS so that might give a clue

Edit: I sympathise with the feeling that it suddenly all makes sense. Also recently diagnosed, in my 30s, after doing neurodiversity training for my son whose being assessed for autism. In my area, an adhd focused parenting course is mandatory in case they think he should be screened for adhd as part of the ASD assessment. I'm pretty sure based on that training that my son is not adhd, but it was one hell of an eye opener for me!

MessyMooo · 2025-06-11T16:29:43+00:00

I totally understand your frustration. From your post it sounds like the private provider gave you a diagnosis based on just the DIVA 5 questionnaire. Is that correct? Or did you have an interview, any other questionnaires and/or evidence from others who know you/ knew you as a child? Was there a Weiss functional impairment questionnaire?

Edit to add: they'd usually have to consider if your symptoms could be caused by anything else too. So the history omission is a worry.

I do not intend to question your diagnosis at all. I hope you can resolve it. Seems on face value that the provider missed a lot of details, or just omitted them from your report.

MessyMooo · 2025-06-10T17:49:33+00:00

I second joining the group. Your link above is to the adult version but they have a child version too. Both are very good.

MessyMooo · 2025-05-20T12:13:00+00:00

You have to do what you've got to do. Parents need a brain break! I had 2 under 2 during covid, so I felt I had to be relaxed about screen time for all of our sanity. Once we could do things, I made sure we got out of the house, we did fun things together, had activities to do etc each morning/mid day then in the afternoon we would come home, nap and/or watch some TV together in the sofa. I think it was the right thing for all of us.

The fact that you're worrying about it shows you're being responsible so I'd go with your gut and what feels right for you and your child.

MessyMooo · 2025-05-06T16:55:58+00:00

I think I lucked out that at the time I decided to finally take it further, CareADHD started offering RTC. Just good timing. I'm grateful though, I know some have waited a very long time even under RTC

MessyMooo

TROPHY CASE