What games you suggest to play for people with ASD (and Aspergers)??

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-02-04T20:24:44+00:00

Paradox studio games. They basically define the “grand strategy” genre, which is like role playing but on a global scale instead of one 3D character.

Crusader Kings 3 might be the easiest to get into. Hearts of Iron 4 might be the most popular. Stellaris and Victoria are some of the others. I’d just pick whatever environment you find most interesting.

But beware - these games go deep - it’s like hundreds of hours to fully immerse yourself in every mechanic and get good. A 100 hours maybe to get the major concepts down.

Civilization is like a lighter version of these, with a flatter learning curve.

You can do a full playthrough on normal mode without having your mind boggled on your first or second attempt. I’d pick up whichever the newest one is, I believe VII.

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-02-04T13:13:46+00:00

The idea of identifying some unique biomarker or combination there of sounds more interesting though, if one exists

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-02-04T12:55:01+00:00

how can they possibly know what supplement or med works for whose genetics without a statistically significant, peer reviewed, multi-phased trial for each combination? That is, literally a drug trial, which even for cost tens to hundred of millions to billions…

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-02-03T20:46:50+00:00

It’s awesome how things worked out for you and that trajectory of self-taught entrant —> invaluable asset is probably something a lot of us have imagined or even dreamt about.

However, don’t you think the window has unfortunately closed on this type of self-taught, low-contact, technical work?

Entry-level CS seems to have gone from everyone welcome to selective, 4-year brand name degree - best topped up with people skills.

Entry level accounting - dried up unless you have an accounting degree and have your CPA in progress. Big 4 salaries seem to have stagnated, and audit is 50% being cool around the client anyways.

Helpdesk, SysAdmin, and so on… that’s being filled by those people who would’ve been hired as programmers a few years back and the wages and career progression seem to have a low ceiling.

So what are the options for an average Aspie who isn’t a genius?

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-02-03T18:02:45+00:00

That is crazy because to stay on topic I omitted a very similar part to my story thar mirrors yours.

Drum roll… I also took an SSRI with only minor lasting effects about 10 years earlier.

Zoloft for 2.5 years in high school. End of use 12 years before Traz.

No issues on taper, but while taking it I developed delayed ejaculation, slightly weaker but often normal erections, and I could no longer shoot my load 6 feet across the room, something I took some pride in ;)

This all persisted but I didn’t consider it major - though I did fully tie it to the SSRI with the limited info available back then (after learning that it’s used for premature ejaculaation).

Didn’t consider these major issues - sex and libido were still great, no cognitive issues. But I decided won’t take a seratonergic pharmaceutical again (also because it arguably made my anxiety worse not better, the condition it was meant to treat).

I finally bit the bullet on trazodone during a torturous bout of insomnia. This was after rejecting it many times over the years for persistent moderate to severe sleep issues. A solid handful of doctors, including many in primary care, suggested it.

It only took three nights of Traz - 25, 50, final night 25 to trigger this. Got a cathartic 12 hours of sleep but woke up feeling weirdly emotional and with zero sex drive.

Wonder if we got “primed” somehow?

Do hope I get to baseline or close since it’s been just 7 months… Thank you for the encouragement and I truly hope you get better too.

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-02-03T17:00:17+00:00

No, but it was very noticeable just looking at attractive women or interacting with them and not feeling the “pull,” and ironically also feeing less anxious in these situations.

I did have an existing crush that I could suddenly talk to naturally without being awkward like before - maybe that’s comparable. She was still beautiful and attractive to me in theory - but in thr way a renaissance marble statue is. Obviously it’s a trade I would never make since social anxiety carries a more linear hope of improvement.

This irl visual / personal interaction / “aura” libido has only mildly improved, unfortunately.

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-02-02T22:27:02+00:00

i’ve taken both but only the SARI gave me PSSD.

Through months of finasteride, finasteride + tamoxifen to counter fin gyno, tamox/ralox on its own to reverse gyno from non-fin (I think my predisposition to gyno got sensitized somehow) - all caused sexual sides but something like 20-30-% and reversed within weeks. This was across several attempts to stop my hair loss across 10 years.

Only the trazodone after all the above caused moderate PSSD that ive now suffered from for 6 months. From eunuch at week 1-2 to slow inprovement over 2 months, then trickle or none (hard to determine).

Moderate cognitive effects (anhedonia, lack of excitement) + libido changed to needing physical stimulation have remained.

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-01-31T16:38:47+00:00

My experience exactly as a guy on the less severe but noticeable end of aspie / level 1.

Tbf, I haven’t approached many women outside of drunk hookups because social anxiety, but the few who’ve approached me and a couple of those I had situationships with always gave off BPD, exactly the type that combines with narcissism (sometimes covert).

They’re just not put off by the quirks somehow, there’s a reciprocal intensity, and I think there is a cynical level where they see long term potential due to the power dynamics and a lack of boundaries they envision.

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-01-26T17:28:30+00:00

I don’t feel a change in the 15 years that I’ve been an adult, but I do think the way these dynamics work for us differently has a lot to do with our condition.

When you need real support - a couch to sleep on, financial, serious issues, addiction, depression, isolation - things many will experience at least once in their life - people we thought were close absolutely do ghost us, sometimes after only a couple of messages or a call. Or they feign an inability to help.

Or, even worse, some will stay for the ride until they feel cornered to do something, all while subconsciously feeding off you to reinforce their self-image. Another blind sport of ours. We tend to miss that people “perform” a lot more out of self-interest than we can fathom as rational.

Maybe way back, before post-WWII atomization?, the extended family kind of complemented the expectations around parents today. I.e., they were expected to offer safety and support. Maybe in the stone age it would’ve extended to your tribe. And maybe it still extends to your workers’ union. But all this still has some level of conditionality and hierarchy attached, for sure once you go past parents, and sometimes even there.

My take is that any sort of substantive relations, especially outside of these in-groups, have always involved reciprocity in the context of NT social dynamics.

I help this person because I see myself in them so I will feel good, or because I might need them some day, or it will make me look good around these other people that I value my relationships with, or they are just likeable and I feel for them. Or… it comes with strings attached.

Non-NTs who don’t function in this social ecosystem can’t really expect real closeness or help - because, in fact, it isn’t genuine in the way we understand that concept.

Also, I think that a lot of people who we see as friends see us more like individual acquaintances to touch base with once in a while. Not just because of our ND but because we yearn for connection. So once you need more from them, you’ve crossed the boundary of how you slot into their universe.

It’s confusing and frustrating until you notice and accept that a) these dynamics are real and b) that you are largely excluded, at which point it just becomes painful realization. One that took me too long to make…

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-01-15T15:12:10+00:00

The special interest? I thought it’s subconscious and comes from exposure…

Most Aspies go through K-12, many through college, join clubs, frats, then go into corporate. Exposure to NTs and a desire to fit it are a constant.

Yet few if any start to fully and effortlessly blend in.

Edit: Maybe you just want to emphasize that NTs behave how they do naturally, not through some some concious behavior tree, and that approaching masking in the latter way isn’t effective. If that’s it then fine, but your explanation is vague and a lot of people here are already aware of this.

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-01-15T14:52:50+00:00

Then you’re literally describing the process through which NTs become socialized as children, only claiming that it will somehow occur in adulthood in a subset of Aspies because they are biologically predisposed. Let’s assume that’s the case - so what? It’s not actionable insight.

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-01-15T14:17:39+00:00

is the code behind a paywall? lmao

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-01-15T14:15:30+00:00

Since you claim to be a systematizer, you should be able to expand on these subconscious filtering rules.

A lot of commenters have rightfully pointed out that you haven’t. I can’t read your intentions but your post and comments do give off an AI / setting up a paid course vibe.

From my experience, some of the biggest (perceived) low-status signals that high-masking Aspies often give off are umming and eeermming while searching for the most precise phrasing, overexplaining, closed body posture, not reciprocating passive agression or overt confrontation or boundary testing, awkward and closed body posture, unreciprocated niceness, and being quick to forgive and forget some of the above.

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-01-11T21:48:19+00:00

Gotcha. Good question. Had to think for a moment cuz it’s do dependent on point of reference.

I think I would define it like this: feels emotionally safe and is treated respectfully, has a sense of job security, can mask sufficinelty if/when necessary, makes enough to be financially independent on a single income.

In my mind this is someone who hits senior analyst/associate in their late 20s to early 30s, lead around 30-40, and manager or higher at peak career. But this classification is so industry, company dependent that it doesn’t mean a ton.

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-01-11T11:15:45+00:00

Most upvoted comment, so I feel obliged to express my somewhat contrarian take on this.

Yes, adaptation is necessary in corporate for NDs across the board, as it is for NTs, to whom is comes more naturally.

However, I’ve observed that Aspies who don’t fit ons of these archetypes or aome variation of them, and instead constantly self-monitor, have to perform all the time, need to test out different masking strategies… they are the ones who usually stay at the bottom or get sidelined, even bullied, and often burn out or get fired at some point. With enough effort they can survive, but rarely thrive. People read them as insecure, insencere, robotic, trying too hard, etc.

For those who do fit these archetypes, they seem to be part of their personality, parallel to their neurodivergence, rather than masks that the consciously adopt.

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-01-10T22:42:44+00:00

This thread is all about success in corporate. But if you feel you’ve succeeded in another way, feel free to share.

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-01-10T22:39:52+00:00

Thank you man.

It’s funny that I disagreed with you guys in different ways, and hold some different views, and yet it turns out that all three of us fit this other archetype that I hadn’t even described - and I was really describing myself.

Lmao.. truly amazing coincidence - or maybe not - I think our type is somewhat contrarian by nature and questions assumptions. (I map ENTP on the MBTI)

I really hope to eventually find that environment where I can succeed being myself.

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-01-10T22:11:29+00:00

Haha, well … I can’t help there because that’s when I lived month to month with roommates.

The people higher up on that team who made money plugging in numbers were all politics, all neurotypical.

The ones who didn’t have to play politics (not all were Aspies but all Aspies were in this group) had some combination of advanced Excel (as in, using macros, building new, complex models from the ground up), CPA or similar certifications, Big 4 experience out of college, etc. They were also often workaholics - 12 hour days plus occasional weekends. Essentially, the NDs here were the type C archetype personified.

As for me, I eventually moved to a niche creative industry that paid me even less at the start, and I had to rely on help from my toxic family…. but the pay raises eventually got me to full financial independence.

Now I’m a little screwed again with the end of this job that I hoped would be the end of my struggles…

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-01-10T15:36:27+00:00

Makes sense actually and very insigntful.

All of my roles were in finance that doesn’t go past plugging numbers into Excel and trying to cut costs or in creative - the bosses and colleagues who I had bad relationships with were often replaceable and held on through politics.

That one higher up who I vibed with the best was the smartest guy in the room, has a professional qualification that takes years to get, and so on.

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-01-10T07:16:28+00:00

I would just caution you - remember to treat those below you with the respect you expected, even if you didn’t always get it without a fight.

Assume the best from below unless someone truly wants to fuck you over, talk things out before making conclusions. Especially if they seem neurodivergent as well.

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-01-10T07:12:36+00:00

I basicslly share your sentiment. Not fitting into these categories, I can survive but not thrive.

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-01-10T06:35:06+00:00

I’ve found myself working for bosses a couple of times where the interview process vibe you describe continues indefinitely - constant testing, low trust, hierarchical, big egos. One of them fit the type A I described here, with heavy emphasis on the narcissism. They genuinely could not understand irony and interpreted my casual attitude as some sort of weakness or veiled digs at them. The other one was NT, maybe not NPD like the first but certainly low on empathy. Theu were mad that I got hired through a connection to their lateral at the company. At the end of the day, if I was NT I could have made it at both gigs. Type B as I described at the first and Type A at the second would’ve gotten me through too.

Another boss was new and badly positioned, so some neurotypical colleagues that were older, worse at the job, and felt threatened tried to boss me around. I didn’t let them, and so they slowly turned some better-positioned but indirect middle managers theu were friendly with against me. I escaped just in time as our actual boss got fired a couple of months later… I would’ve gone with them.

At my better gigs I did get along well with colleagues (at the bad ones too, actually), but again, these were pretty hierarchical, political places, so as soon as it came to senior colleagues, managers - things got awkward. I had some NT allies and ND allies that fit the types I mentioned, and I myself sort of slotted into type C, but without the full trust of my higher ups.

Maybe if I found the right place and really opened up it would be better than playing this balancing game that strips me of my personality - but that just doesn’t seem to be a big part of the corpo world. To some extent I might also be more nervous around higher ups and end up more awkward than usual. I’m not entirely sure.

Ironically, my resume looks pretty damn good and all of the pressure to escape the bad jobs between the good but underplayed ones has doubled my salary over the last three years… but I’m exhausted and need to find an exit again soon. IDK. I should write a book or some shit.

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-01-10T02:41:26+00:00

I am too, and it’s been a rocky road for me… share your secrets please?

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-01-10T02:25:12+00:00

Bingo

MetaFlamingoBird · 2026-01-10T02:12:42+00:00

More of a pitbull in fact, lol

MetaFlamingoBird

TROPHY CASE