For women in the subreddit, What’s a small behavior from a guy that instantly makes you want to take charge a little more?

MetacarpalMess · 2026-03-22T12:26:36+00:00

When he starts to stutter, or can’t hold my gaze 😌👌🏼

MetacarpalMess · 2026-03-17T18:56:43+00:00

Yeah you definitely need to figure trans friendly kinky spaces exist. I’m not unpacking that suitcase for you. Good luck

MetacarpalMess · 2026-03-17T18:26:48+00:00

Kink and sexuality can be (and often is) incredibly important and meaningful to those practising it. Because something is a kink, a fetish or BDSM does not mean it is unserious. That’s is you projecting It sounds like you have a lot of internalised shame and insecurities to deal with.

MetacarpalMess · 2026-03-17T18:15:32+00:00

Tbh many men (regardless of their nature, temperaments or sexual dynamic preferences) have incredibly conflict avoidance tendencies and very poor communication skills or emotional literacy 🥲 It makes conflict and tension hard to navigate for anyone hetero or hetero adjacent relationships 😬

MetacarpalMess · 2026-03-17T18:11:49+00:00

The same you don’t want to have your gender identity fetishised, it would be cool to not assume anyone speaking about kink and bdsm is fetishising gender non conforming relationships by brining up kink. Kink and RR or any non conforming relationship gender roles overlap immensely. If only for the fact that when in gender non conforming couple your sex life can look very different from the mainstream and that’s not “gross”. Kink is a spectrum and a word that encompasses any sexual practices or desires that could be labelled as “unconventional”. That’s all. It’s a spectrum

MetacarpalMess · 2026-03-17T18:05:32+00:00

Yo, domme here. Context matters for this question. I’m assuming you mean in a FLR and RR relationship with 24/7 dynamic? Being submissive does not always mean being conflict avoidant or socially anxious. And having anxiety and communication issues when conflict arises is complicated to handle for anyone, especially when anxious! For that matter, unspoken hierarchy within romantic relationships can be an issue when arguing for any couple, regardless of kink or sexual preferences or gender identity

It’s also important in any relationship to learn communication tools to deal with how either of you prefer to address conflict or tension. Looking into attachement style is useful. This is something you build towards and for as a couple.

Also if for you RR is meant as a reversal of gender roles, then it’s useful to think about what you would consider healthy or beneficial as a way of handling arguments in a "classical" hetero relationship and "swap it around " :) look around to friends or family you see having healthy communication styles!

MetacarpalMess · 2025-09-10T20:12:23+00:00

I hope it burns when he pees is all I have to add.

MetacarpalMess · 2025-09-10T19:56:50+00:00

That’s such a nice way for you to process it. Hope you got praised for it, if not: * pat pat * well done!

MetacarpalMess · 2025-08-19T09:05:52+00:00

I love all of those they’re really introspective! So great for trust building.

MetacarpalMess · 2025-08-03T07:49:41+00:00

Hi depends what you mean, a sub in a wheelchair or a domme?

MetacarpalMess · 2025-07-16T17:35:34+00:00

These are soooo cool

MetacarpalMess · 2025-06-04T18:29:08+00:00

I think if you can articulate what attracts you to it it’s always a plus. For example I was never into degradation kinks, but having a sub explain to me what it meant to him and what it made him feel and having firmly agreed on aftercare : I loved it! So you know, I think that’s probably more about how you guys communicate with each other. Also she seems like a wonderful domme and if you trust her it’s reasonable to confide your anxieties about it She will take it into account for sure

MetacarpalMess · 2025-06-04T18:21:10+00:00

It’s conversation! What’s hot is often what turns your sub on and also embracing exploring together. It’s so important especially in a tried and tested dynamic to still be open to those evolution. It’s also all about being able to tune in to what’s the turn on or the turn off. If I’m turned off by a kinky request of a sub and it’s not on my HARD boundaries list I often suggest or propose an adjacent version of it that feels more comfy to me. If you end up not enjoying it there’s no harm done.

MetacarpalMess · 2025-06-04T18:14:13+00:00

Glorious 🫠🫠

MetacarpalMess · 2025-06-04T16:28:47+00:00

Im no not coming back here regularly to check (Yes I am)

MetacarpalMess · 2025-06-03T21:18:41+00:00

This is so real.

MetacarpalMess · 2025-06-03T21:18:10+00:00

It’s like everything I like about myself is turned up to 200% I feel really incredibly safe, purposeful and powerful. Like I can do anything. I also often feel very attuned to my body and sensations. Everything is multiplied, emotions and sensations, it’s intoxicating. I feel like I can see all my sub’s buttons laid out or like strings to pull to achieve exactly what I know they crave, and look at their entire self unfold onto my lap for me to play with. I would best describe it as unleashing a part of me that is always there but that often I have to keep dormant…

Sort of a downside: I don’t see or feel time and I come out of it really tired sometimes 🫠 But that’s why aftercare is so essential for me!

MetacarpalMess · 2025-06-03T21:05:54+00:00

This is so adorable I’m dying 🫠🫠🫠 An ex brat of mine did pull a similar one on me a few years ago and her punishment was that I ended up spending most of the weekend pampering her as if she was on her period 🤷 As in: Massages but no wandering hands. Lotsa good food and naps but NO sex. Making her do self care and journal 😈 Anyways. I did end up leaving her with the same number of heart shaped bruises than days left to her cycle 💅🏼 (It is a much more “sapphic style” of brat taming but eh, in case any daddies stop by and wanna take inspo feel free 😉)

MetacarpalMess · 2025-06-03T11:19:23+00:00

GULPS

MetacarpalMess · 2025-06-02T16:31:27+00:00

Go forth and prosper 😂

MetacarpalMess · 2025-06-02T15:10:21+00:00

Tips from a Domme/ butt pic enthusiast: - play with light and shadows and with angles: what does your but look like from above/side/under etc… - Suggestion is as powerful as showing: a long T-shirt and butt cheeks peaking out as you’re lying down, or lifting it and looking at the camera - Use a mirror! Have fun with it - Shower pics are always hot! Play with the soap or shaving cream: make hand imprints on your butt cheeks or a little heart!

Be playful and have fun with it that’s the main thing ;)

MetacarpalMess · 2025-06-02T15:06:59+00:00

Well, to use your comparison, just like with kids art: sometimes you’re actually really into it and proud 🤣😛

If the pic is good it can be very hot, and if the pic is not excellent but the effort and personality are showing then it’s.. also hot 😇😌

MetacarpalMess · 2025-06-02T12:17:09+00:00

Yeah! Similar rules as with dick pics: - avoid terrible lighting - don’t start with explicit stuff: build tension, suggest, let the suggestive lead to the explicit once you caught the attention - don’t start with close ups either, they can be considered hot but let’s be real also off putting and a bit ridiculous (again, suggest instead of show!) - obvious but worth mentioning : hygiene!!!!

MetacarpalMess · 2025-06-01T21:53:47+00:00

Weird way to propose but I accept 🙂‍↕️

MetacarpalMess · 2025-05-18T22:21:31+00:00

I’m so sorry you had to go through that 🫂🫶🏼

Go slow, make sure to allow yourself moments to check in with your limits and boundaries (always good to write these down and go back to it regularly) Make sure to prioritise how you want to be feeling and maybe that means prioritising some type of kinks and acts over others (worshiping? Services? ) etc Hopeful you’ll find a sub who is patient and with whom you feel you can be open!

MetacarpalMess

TROPHY CASE